Why do men take a long time to message/text back?

AnniaT · 2020-09-19T21:26:57+00:00

Your phone is with you 24/7.

He is ignoring you and not interested. No one on the planet is too busy to check their phone.

Everyone is busy but they MAKE time for each other. If you are not a priority he will not make time.

Especially during lockdown! Wtf lol! He’s at home probably.

You are right, if a dude is interested, he would reply within the day and try to keep YOU talking.

People ghost all the time, take lack of responses within 24 hrs as a ghost and delete.

If he knows how to respect others time, he would give you a heads up if he’s going to be busy.

If he’s ignoring you to “play the game” he needs to gtfo, he’s wasting your time. You’re wasting your own time waiting for a response.

Never wait for anyone, do you and forget about him until he shows he is worth the time.

eveninghope · 2020-09-19T21:15:41+00:00

Is this on OLD? Usually it's because they're talking to someone for a few days, that chick loses interest, so they're fishing to make sure you're still around. Just unmatch.

If it's guys you know IRL, it's just a douchey power thing, but same reason. Fishing to see if you're still interesting while putting 0 effort in.

theawkwardalli · 2020-09-19T21:41:36+00:00

PUA’s always say to wait a few days to message us women back. It’s honestly horrible advice because it shows they’re uninterested and didn’t enjoy the date.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-19T22:31:34+00:00

I had this recently in real life and I had to block twice. I met this guy through "porch beers" at a friend's house. We hit it off. He asked for my number. He texted regularly and was just very very cool. He's in his early 40s, which is my age range. Two weeks of this and he has not asked me out and starts taking longer to text back (24 hours) and even not responding to the last text which was always a question. So I blocked him without a word and moved on with my life. Two weeks later he adds me on social media and apparently messaged me too because I saw it when I approved him. I thought huh this really shows interest so I'll give him another chance. He didn't ask why I stopped responding lol. He said red flag things like I really liked talking to you "every so often". And he messaged really well for maybe five days before he asked me what my weekend plans were and when I told him the times I was free, he said ME TOO and then I did not hear from him again all damn weekend, about 30 hours. So I blocked him there and saw he also had another profile and blocked that one too.

I don't know if he was expecting ME to ask him out or was just playing some kinda damn game. It doesn't matter because he won't get to speak to me again.

feast_or_famine1 · 2020-09-19T21:13:13+00:00

I feel like it's just a game to them. They're able to gain leverage if they know you are annoyed they are taking a long time to reply. I personally think it's a power thing.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-19T21:32:07+00:00

They don’t if they’re interested.

2020-09-19T22:31:08+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-09-19T23:56:45+00:00

They're making sure that you know that they don't want anything real with you.

0kfornow · 2020-09-19T21:14:43+00:00

Block and delete

AnniaT · 2020-09-19T21:45:05+00:00

I'm not 24/7 on my phone and if I'm working I dont use my phone so I might take very long to reply. However if two people are talking with date intent, it shouldn't take that long to reply. Since I've become more direct about what I want and don't want, I now notice that men who were so enthusiastically talking to me and replying fast, suddenly take ages when I say I don't give my number before meeting in person or when I dismiss their vague dating proposals or attempts to coffee dates. Suddenly I lose interest to them when I don't respond to their low effort narratives nor want endless text conversations outside of the dating app without the concrete prospect of a date.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-09-19T21:29:31+00:00

This is not my experience, but I also have extremely low tolerance for any hint of indifference, laziness, or being “too busy.”

Granted, I don’t do OLD but when I did, the men who eventually got my number were very responsive.

I think this speaks to the need to aggressively vet for this and cut off the ones who are not displaying enthusiasm.

And no, men almost never directly state a lack of interest. They either communicate with their actions or make things unbearable until you call out the elephant in the room.

Better to center yourself and communicate with your actions than to try to understand their contradictions.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-09-20T00:50:06+00:00

I forgive work hours and sleeping hours without thinking twice.

Otherwise yeah wtf are you doing that you can't answer me relatively soon? What activity takes more than a few hours? Any legitimately good answers are likely good reasons not to be with someone (I'm thinking, kids, girlfriend wife).

Most other obligations only take an hour or two or at least give you breaks.

rideoffalone · 2020-09-20T02:44:38+00:00

He's just not that into you.

plutonian_princess · 2020-09-20T09:57:54+00:00

It means theyre talking to other women and are only treating you as an option

Title	Why do men take a long time to message/text back?
Author	TheHorseNamedArse
Upvotes	61
Comments	38
Date	September 19, 2020 1:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ivscna/why_do_men_take_a_long_time_to_messagetext_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-men-take-a-long-time-to-messagetext-back.269841 https://theredarchive.com/post/269841

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