What is the most polite way to dump someone for having a high number? Does this require me to lie?

ProtoPill · 2016-02-20T18:07:42+00:00

"This isn't working out."

That's all you have to say. You don't have to explain it. You don't have to excuse or rationalize. You've decided you don't want to date her anymore. That's the end of the discussion.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-02-20T16:27:45+00:00

If you were being BP, their past choices would not affect your current decisions and you wouldn't want to break up with them for something they did while not with you.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T17:51:59+00:00

I'm sort of confused here.

So let's say I want to be blue pill compliant and dump my SO for sleeping with "a lot" of people.

are you saying TBP would expect you to?

Also, I don't really see what's here to discuss by way of what you've presented.

kathydurst · 2016-02-20T17:06:09+00:00

If it's something that bothers you then you shouldn't have gotten yourself into a position where you have to dump the person. You would have asked those questions pre-relationship and stopped it from progressing further.

And if you're not in a relationship, who cares? Just say it isn't working out for you.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T17:19:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rulenumber303 · 2016-02-20T17:07:31+00:00

Insufficient data. How long have you been with this person and how long have you known their count? Have they lied about it to you? Have you neglected to ask them for months and months and months? Have you always had the same attitude to count or has your attitude changed since starting the relationship? Have you ever given them to believe their count didn't matter to you? Have you held yourself out as being more committed to them than you actually were? Do you have mutual commitments that will be difficult to disentangle? Have they ever shown any sign of the flaws you think come with high count?

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T16:27:27+00:00

You're not obligated to provide feedback when you dump someone. Just be vague. "I think we want different things" seems to be the fashionable one these days.

moosemc · 2016-02-20T16:42:29+00:00

You could point to your own insecurities, that prevent you from enjoying sex with someone who knows what they're doing.

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DownedACoupleDowners · 2016-02-21T17:41:19+00:00

So I know this question's already been answered extensively, but 'd like to add, just because you're not obligated to give them your reasoning for breaking up doesn't mean it's not incredibly shitty to keep that person in the dark when you know being open with that person could make a huge difference in his or her life. "You're not obligated" is just an excuse to treat people like shit. It doesn't mean you shouldn't treat them well whether you're obligated or not.

Honestly, tell the guy the truth. If you're uncomfortable with his high n-count, tell him, "I think you're a great guy, but I'm put off by the fact you had a lot of partners." If he asks why, tell him why. If he gets pushy about it and won't accept how much it bothers you, walk away. It's really not hard to be honest with people in these situations, especially when you realize it's so often what's best for everyone.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T16:34:58+00:00

I may be red pill and unneccessarily brash, but even I know how to be polite. I just choose not to be.

It just requires you to state your wants openly and acknowledge your actions might be hurting them... but it is what is, and that you're entitled to have your sexual wants. I think there's nothing more that any reasonable person could possibly ask for, short of forcing or shaming you into being with people you simply don't want to be with.

If you're a virgin rejecting a whore: "I am sorry. Our views on sex do not align. I'm looking for someone who's more like me in terms of sexual history."

If you're a whore rejecting a whore: "I'm kind of ashamed to say it, but this isn't going to work. I know that its a bit hypocritical, but I can't make myself feel a certain way. The fact is, that I'm looking for someone unlike myself in terms of sexual experience."

All that said, the misogynist in me still giggles at my memories of pump and dump.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T17:00:35+00:00

If they had a high number then why get into a relationship with them to begin with..

If your already calling them your SO then you've already accepted them

Title	What is the most polite way to dump someone for having a high number? Does this require me to lie?
Author	kathydurst
Upvotes	2
Comments	78
Date	February 20, 2016 4:23 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/46qqba/what_is_the_most_polite_way_to_dump_someone_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-most-polite-way-to-dump-someone-for.276119 https://theredarchive.com/post/276119

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