Q4women: would you date a guy who doesn't have a driving license?

wuboo · 2016-02-19T22:50:23+00:00

Big city people don't need driver's licenses. I think it's more of a problem if the person lost their license.

OlBastard · 2016-02-19T22:23:14+00:00

i also don't drive, so that would complicate things a little. public transportation is getting better and better though so it's not a huge deal (especially if you live in a big city with mass transit). it would make getting together a little more difficult, but i wouldn't think less of him for it (especially considering i'm the same).

speltspelt · 2016-02-19T22:24:16+00:00

I don't drive, never dated a guy who drove, not remotely an issue except if they want me to drive them around.

SallyStitches · 2016-02-19T22:29:08+00:00

Sure

yasee · 2016-02-19T22:32:20+00:00

philomexa · 2016-02-19T23:10:33+00:00

Do we live in a city like Chicago or NY? Then I wouldn't care, I'd still date him. Do we live in a suburb or rural area? I'd still date him, but depending on how attractive he is I'd either be annoyed or wouldn't care.

Summary: I wouldn't care, his level of physical attraction determines how annoyed I am.

ETA:

I guess some feminists would rationalize it by saying that men are privileged so they have no excuses while women are oppressed so they have legit motivations if they never got a driving license. that's of course a catch all argument for them.

what does this even mean? I feel like you're just word vomiting something negative about feminism.

SmurfESmurferson · 2016-02-19T22:24:18+00:00

It depends on where you live, and how car dependent you are.

In my 20s, I had a LTR with a guy who didn't have a driver's license. We lived in NYC, and used public transportation - actually paying for a parking spot for my car was so much of a PITA that I ended up selling it and being car-less myself for a few years.

I wouldn't think twice about dating someone who doesn't drive if there's adequate and safe public transportation to get us from point A to point B.

appencapn · 2016-02-20T03:47:31+00:00

This is precisely the situation with the future mr. appencapn. He just recently as in last week got his license. But we've been dating for a while and he never had it. He still doesn't have a car. I don't either nor do I have my license. He also lives in a major city and I'm abroad so it makes sense we wouldn't drive.

I really didn't care. But knowing he has it makes me feel better because he can teach me

sublimemongrel · 2016-02-20T04:27:04+00:00

What this seems like you're wayyyyy overthinking things. Would I date a guy who didn't drive? Probably not, but I'm 30 and in the US. I don't want to have to drive someone around constantly, make or female.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T06:22:52+00:00

Yeah, I'm engaged to a man without his driver's license. I like giving him rides! Sometimes it's a little inconvenient, but it's not a big deal. When we started dating neither of us had a license, so we biked and bused everywhere. Having a car is a lot better, though.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-02-20T07:11:33+00:00

In the city? Sure. Out past the end of the tram lines? Shows he's impractical

cookiebootz · 2016-02-19T22:58:05+00:00

No, I live in a place where you can't get around without a car. Spread out, shitty public transit. I have a friend without a car and even that's a pain in the ass sometimes. That's a reason she gives when I've asked why she's not trying to date more.

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[deleted] · 2016-02-19T23:17:58+00:00

Depends on where I live. When I lived in DC, it wouldn't have bothered me at all. I didn't drive when I lived in DC (although I did have a license). If I lived where I do now, it'd be kind of a big problem.

FWIW, I know women who don't know how to drive, and that always strikes me as really weird and helpless. Not driving because you live in NYC and don't have a car, fine. Never having learned in the first place? Come on, that is a basic skill.

ozymandias271 · 2016-02-20T07:04:51+00:00

Occasionally I forget that people actually drive cars.

[deleted] · 2016-02-20T08:41:45+00:00

He doesn't need to own a car...but for christ sakes, that's like a stamp on the 'adult' card...it would be a major red flag for me if he didn't have a license.

hakosua · 2016-02-20T09:25:08+00:00

I don't have to imagine: I was dating a guy who didn't have a driver's license while I was in my mid-twenties. We broke up after six years because work took us to opposite Coasts. Now we're both with other people but we stay in touch. Is it trickier in non-urban areas? I've always been a city dweller.

goatismycopilot · 2016-02-20T14:30:28+00:00

I live in a mid sized city with crappy public transport so no. I think it is less of an issue in large metro areas with reliable public transport. If you live in NYC, no big deal.

[deleted] · 2016-02-21T00:15:31+00:00

It depends. If you live in a big city or region that has excellent public transit/walkability, then it makes sense that you wouldn't have one. Otherwise it's slightly odd. The way I see it, getting a driver's license is a step towards adulthood. Unless a person lives a considerable difference from the DMV or is in a situation that makes it extremely difficult to obtain one, there is no reason why they should not. Driving is a life skill that most competent adults should have- you never know when you might have to use it in an emergency even if you don't own a car. When a non-citydwelling adult doesn't have one, it's weird to me, and would raise questions about how responsible that person is and how seriously they take their personal agency in life.

As for imagining a situation where I drive on all dates: I already do that. My SO has his license, but can't afford a car at the moment so I drive whenever we go somewhere together. I actually prefer it since I like driving and trust my skills more than his (he's a tad reckless). If it's a long trip he'll give me a few bucks for gas, but beyond that it's not an inconvenience since we live a few blocks away from each other. I'm not sure why you are making a big deal of this or where feminism fits in, TBH. All adults should consider getting one.

Peachykeengreat · 2016-02-21T18:38:50+00:00

My fiancé doesn't have a license. Permit and a vehicle yes but no license. I could see this being a deal breaker if neither person has access to a vehicle and/or a license at least in the area I live in where public transportation is shit and uber is not necessarily an option.

cravenravens · 2016-02-21T18:43:04+00:00

I would date him, but it would annoy me slightly since I don't like driving.

winndixie · 2016-02-22T04:21:48+00:00

Driving puts you into a position of authority of the car, and helps frame. Being a passenger puts her in a position of a comfortable rider, void of any responsibility of making driving decisions. Almost a perfect manifestation of the ideal relationship dynamic, captain and first mate scenario (assuming women like being the comfortable passenger and not being the "in charge" captain, and as much as feminist deny this, it's often true more than not). And also giving road head.

I'm a man, not a woman. But I still do not have a drivers license and been in a scenario where she has driven me in her truck. I know.

teeelo · 2016-02-20T02:34:14+00:00

Absolutely not. I have the option to date a man with a car like I have, so why would I take less?

downunderit · 2016-02-20T02:54:31+00:00

Not if he didn't have a legit reason. Well I might date him but if he made no effort to improve his situation we would probably end up fighting a lot. I also don't live in a city with great public transport.

My sister is dating a guy with epilepsy who can never get his license. She doesn't seem to mind

YouCantTakeMySoul · 2016-02-19T22:21:12+00:00

Uh oh no girlfriend. I couldn't get from A to B if my man aint got not motor... ya hear.

saltinado · 2016-02-19T22:34:09+00:00

Well, where I live (rural Midwest), it would certainly give me pause. Not because I would have to drive, I actually like driving. It would make me wonder how he lives his life. Where I live, having a car is a pretty necessary part of living life. Now, if I lived in NYC, I really wouldn't care, because half the people don't drive anyway.

Title	Q4women: would you date a guy who doesn't have a driving license?
Author	ifelsedowhile
Upvotes	2
Comments	50
Date	February 19, 2016 10:13 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/46n4ce/q4women_would_you_date_a_guy_who_doesnt_have_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-would-you-date-a-guy-who-doesnt-have-a.276131 https://theredarchive.com/post/276131

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