If you're in a male same-sex marriage, it's 50 percent more likely to end in divorce than a heterosexual marriage. If you're in a female same-sex marriage, this figure soars to 167 percent. Looking for BP thinking on this.

taiboworks · 2015-07-01T20:11:10+00:00

one theory i've heard is that testosterone is central to maintaining relationship sex drive, lesbians collectively have the least and thus are the most likely to suffer dead bedrooms.

GynaTynglez · 2015-07-01T22:56:04+00:00

Two factors: Lesbian bed death and lesbian separatism. Lesbians hang out with mostly women and end up in lots of love triangles. It's not uncommon for a circle of friends to have all slept with one another. Despite this, exes frequently remain good friends.

GridReXX · 2015-07-02T01:01:40+00:00

My first thought is sex.

The glue keeping men in marriages is the idea of sex.

Women don't prioritize sex the same way men do. And it seems sex is an intense drive.

Even more so than "love."

It reminds me of a post I wrote a while ago. That it seems men need some form of companionship more so than women - on a very base and instinctual level.

antidense · 2015-07-01T21:25:36+00:00

One thing to keep in mind is that this was written in 2004 and gay marriage was only legalized in Norway and Sweden in 1993 and 1995 respectively. ~10 years isn't a super long time to study marriage, and the kind of people who got married immediately when it was legalized might not be the same kind of people who were getting straight married in the same time period. I'm not saying that the info is inaccurate or anything, we could just use more data.

That said, I wonder how much kids play a role with divorce rates. I'd imagine that couples with a kid have a strong incentive to stay together even if they would otherwise get divorced. Gay couples obviously would not have to deal with that as much so maybe that's part of why they get divorced more often.

[deleted] · 2015-07-01T22:21:25+00:00

The finding is mirrored in other studies as well.

Could you cite these?

wazzup987 · 2015-07-01T20:45:22+00:00

Gay men usually have open marriages. That's roughly an extra-marital fuck every other day and 5-10 on the weekends.

mrcs84usn · 2015-07-02T00:01:29+00:00

I think one thing that is to be considered is that when looking at hetero couples, women account for ~70% of the ones that file for divorce. The common counter-argument is something like, "yes, they file more, but that says nothing about who was actually the cause of the marriage failing. They were just the one that actually went down to the courthouse."

When you factor men out of the equation, women are just dealing with other women, and the rates get significantly worse, so it really flies in the face of that counterargument.

All in all, it just further solidifies why getting married is a dumb idea for men.

ThorLives · 2015-07-01T20:07:04+00:00

I'd respond with this more recent dataset, from the US.

It finds no difference between groups.

wuboo · 2015-07-01T20:56:12+00:00

I'll take a bite at it.

This could possibly be evidence against hypergamy. Making the assumption that women are more hypergamous than men and that women's hypergamous nature is a strong factor for divorce, male same-sex couples should have the lowest divorce rate. Based on this paper, that is not the case.

But really, everything I said is just bad science, much like the a lot of the claims being made in the rest of this thread.

tomatostew · 2015-07-01T21:59:15+00:00

My thought is;

Who cares? Of two people want to get married, they should. If one or both don't want to be married anymore, get a divorce.

I think we should let people do what they want for themselves ~~without being an ass about it~~without feeling the need to judge

As for the study, I've seen better so I'm not convinced that it holds that much truth. Even if it is true, I don't see a reason to do or think differently.

(edited for clarity)

LUClEN · 2015-07-02T02:47:49+00:00

That's actually opposite to what I had read in the past. From what I understood they were actually less likely to divorce.

on average, 1.1% of same-sex couples dissolve their legal relationships each year. This rate is lower than the annual divorce rate for married different-sex couples (2%)

wildlight · 2015-07-02T03:12:27+00:00

Just off the top of my head, its not so culturally ingrained that gay couples need to stay married forever or socially enforced.

rulenumber303 · 2015-07-02T07:13:50+00:00

My thinking on this is fairly blue pill. I don't care. There could be any of a dozen or more different reasons for the difference in statistics, there's no certainty the statistics will be that way in the future as society changes, and even if the statistics were to stay the same it would be no reason to deny anyone access to marriage.

[deleted] · 2015-07-02T13:09:07+00:00

I am honestly surprised. The general stereotype is that the male gays are the jealous promiscous drama queens and the female lesbians are the calm, bored, and often dead-bedroomed, almost like mutually friendzoned type of couples.

relationshipdownvote · 2015-07-02T03:32:22+00:00

What do lesbians bring on the 3rd date?

U haul keys.

Part of the reason is a lot of people aren't 'out' until later in life. Think back to when you were 15 years old and convinced you were going to marry the first girl you dated. A lot of lesbians I know go through that in college at 21 and beyond. It leads to a very popcorn worthy chain of events.

Those that came out in the natural progression of sexual development (at puberty) had more stable 'normal' relationships.

I would want to see the study comparing puberty <-> age of marriage of the hetero sexual couples to the coming out age <->age of marriage to the lesbian/homosexual.

I would be willing to bet that Lesbians are about on par with 'high school sweethearts' that get married at 17/18 and then divorced before 30.

[deleted] · 2015-07-02T13:19:53+00:00

Most gays became gay because of child abuse. Its simply impossible for gays and trannies to be better parents than a nuclear family.

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