Went to the gym for first time, went well, got laughed at in locker room, how's my banter

PlansAndPlates · 2016-09-20T06:20:27+00:00

What you said was brilliant.

Whether you should say anything is a different matter.

Where is this a high school? I've literally never seen anyone give a small/fat guy shit at a gym (to his face anyway) since becoming an adult

Archwinger · 2016-09-20T12:14:13+00:00

Where the heck do you live? Nobody talks shit at a gym. Like ever. You may have accidentally wandered into your local high school locker room on the way to the actual gym.

Dudes at the gym are typically friendly and social. Not shit talking high fiving meat heads. You probably fell asleep during an 80s movie and dreamed you went to the gym.

Anon4023 · 2016-09-20T06:33:40+00:00

Handled it well.

As a formerly skinny guy, my one tip would be: eat like a motherfucker. Cutting is easy shit if you have discipline, but you'll get nowhere if you don't bulk enough.

gr0w9iwe09i · 2016-09-20T05:16:19+00:00

Also after I left I was pumped with adrenaline. Why? Like shaking a bit, just for a snide comment as I'm walking out. No idea why I was so nervous.

GayLubeOil · 2016-09-20T19:19:52+00:00

Bro this doesn't usually happen at gyms. Are you sure this isn't the beginning of a gay porn?

thetreece · 2016-09-21T01:18:10+00:00

A couple friends and I finished up a great chest and tris session. We were in the locker room getting our stuff when some lanky kid in a towel was awkwardly death-staring us when he thought we weren't looking. At one point we made this prolonged, awkward eye contact. I laughed a little bit to ease the tension this (clearly autistic) kid was creating, but apparently that was the wrong move. He completely sperged out and started calling us "fags" and talking about how he was "6' 2" master race". I asked him if he was really talking shit to strangers in the gym locker room, and he muttered something and ran away. He didn't even get dressed, just grabbed his bag and walked out wearing a towel.

The whole thing was so bizarre. We went out with our girlfriends and laughed about it over a couple beers.

gr0w9iwe09i · 2016-09-20T05:44:02+00:00

That wasn't really banter. It was someone getting your goat and you responding out of anger. I would also have been upset. But here's the advice I'd give myself, being away from that situation.

Responding in this situation netted you nothing. If you had self confidence and respect, then it wouldn't have bothered you. It bothered you and you felt disrespected. So, you acted from a place of not being okay with yourself in order to prove that you are okay with yourself.

If you had to respond at all, a smirky head roll would've sufficed and gotten your point across without as much provocation.

I'm also tall and lanky, and short dudes have given me shit, like you experienced. It really is often because they are deeply insecure and a tall and skinny guy is a soft target they can safely use to gain self esteem and some cred. Short macho douches really don't deserve to live (to quote Randy Newman's song Short People).

I don't know what kind of gym you go to, but I'd consider somewhere else if you can switch. Go to a gym with older people in it where you don't have to deal with this shit and can focus on why you are there.

Also, eat more.

JackGetsIt · 2016-09-20T06:02:13+00:00

You got laughed at. It's called ego. You know what feels good, the iron.

Life hates you. Let it motivate you in every way. It's a fucking gift.

beginner_ · 2016-09-20T05:56:41+00:00

You did well. Set boundaries, not being a push-over. Yes, it's not a perfect reaction. The perfect reaction is you would not even notice because you confidence is so high. Should be more like " Is the dude gay that he is looking at me like that?" "This guy is retarded. Look at me like a moron". However you are not there yet and that is fine. In fact to get confidence you need to be able to act even if it is scary (3 bigger guys).

Next time you see the guy just ignore him.

Blaat1985 · 2016-09-20T10:26:02+00:00

Never had anything happen like that in all my years at the gym, sounds like a shitty gym.

VYJ · 2016-09-20T12:13:49+00:00

sorry not buying into your fantasy knight story/

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T13:16:04+00:00

Contrary to popular belief, the fitness community is probably one of the most accepting and non-judgmental I have ever seen. This is definitely not the norm. Body builders types are usually very smart dudes and very welcoming.

FrameWalker · 2016-09-20T14:12:46+00:00

That's an extremely uncommon experience. The biggest guys in my gym are the warmest. Joined their social media club and they are always encouraging each other and newcomers.

Hunter2isit · 2016-09-20T14:58:03+00:00

locker room etiquette is don't check out the other guys in the locker room. eyes on your shit only. If this is true, that is probably why

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T16:42:48+00:00

I wish I would react the way you did in your situation.

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T16:48:51+00:00

That's hilarious. Keep your golden wits, OP.

MattyAnon · 2016-09-20T17:00:30+00:00

Good answer, but the problem is that you care what some random person thinks of you, enough to put effort into addressing what is said. This is a weakness. Others will exploit it.

SkorchZang · 2016-09-20T20:37:09+00:00

Wrecked.

shadowq8 · 2016-09-20T21:06:20+00:00

Does this actually happen

seattleron · 2016-09-20T23:03:05+00:00

Bravo, Brah. I was expecting cringeworthy and you killed it.

You're gonna be just fine.

JackGetsIt · 2016-09-20T13:44:18+00:00

Did you introduce yourself to your new best friend?

Seriously. You will probably see him again at the gym and he will respect you for holding your ground and be your new spotter, gym buddy. Enjoy.

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T05:50:01+00:00

Perfect responce OP. Never back down!

Disaster_Voyeurism · 2016-09-20T08:15:59+00:00

Handled it really well.

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T08:31:09+00:00

Manlets, when will they learn? You did good, OP. Don't give up and keep lifting. You're on the right track.

RichieFinn · 2016-09-20T11:13:24+00:00

People will project insecurities. Relax.

BusterVadge · 2016-09-20T11:44:18+00:00

You're at the wrong gym. I'm on the skinny side, and I've never been laughed at. Not once.

mr_wiffles · 2016-09-20T22:19:57+00:00

(Pseudo-joke) Any cameras in there? No? Next time bring a real combat knife. Don't wave it around or anything, just let the douche catch a glimpse of it. He's chickenshit by definition so I guarantee he'll shut the fuck up rather quick.

More realistically, treat him like a little kid. You can just cock your head to the side a bit, squint and be like, "dude, really?" Refuse to engage further no matter what he says next.

Finally, learn a real combat martial art like Krav Maga and/or Brazilian jiu-jitsu. You'll likely never really need to use it, but knowing that you can defend yourself is a HUUUUGE boon to your self confidence which will help free you to not worry as much about what the douche bag will do once you make it clear (non-violently) that you see him for the beta bitch he really is.

No matter what, don't stop. In fact, go out of your way to make it to the gym more often now that this has happened. It shows not only douche boy that you're not afraid, but you'll show yourself your own courage and hopefully improve your own self confidence even further. Good luck dude!

PS - tell gym management about this too. Of course ask them not to do anything, just to be aware there's a problem. Chances are he's done it to others and if he DOES start a fight, now you've got a legal witness that'll testify that douche bag has been known to start conflict. This could be key in preventing your own financial collapse from legal and medical bills if a real fight does break out in the future.

Title	Went to the gym for first time, went well, got laughed at in locker room, how's my banter
Author	gr0w9iwe09i
Upvotes	45
Comments	84
Date	September 20, 2016 5:13 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/53lve6/went_to_the_gym_for_first_time_went_well_got/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/went-to-the-gym-for-first-time-went-well-got.282 https://theredarchive.com/post/282

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