Why is it vile to "demand" sex but okay to "demand" a relationship?

[deleted] · 2015-05-04T16:41:04+00:00

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TheHooloovooPill · 2015-05-04T17:06:06+00:00

The reason Bob would get lambasted is because of the idea of friendzoning. It's assumed that Bob doesn't accept Ann's no and continues to he get friend with the hope of something more.

An analogous situation would be if Ann repeatedly sleeps with Alan in the hope of achieving a relationship, when she knows he doesn't want one. In which case I think the response would be similar: "He doesn't owe you a relationship."

In both cases the person either needs to accept their situation and not demand anything of the other party.

ThePantsThief · 2015-05-04T13:27:46+00:00

Bob is sad, complains on the internet and is lambasted. Ann is sad, complains on the internet and is consoled.

i didn't read anywhere in this story that either Ann or Bob demanded a relationship from their romantic interests; being interested in a relationship or even desperately wanting one is not the same thing. people are allowed to complain when they're unhappy, just as people are also welcome to criticize them. for a group of people who prides themselves on 'being the prize' and not caring about the standards of others, you seem to be pretty concerned with how other people view or talk about you.

unless Alan promised or hinted at the possibility of a relationship on false pretenses so that she would sleep with him, then no, she wouldn't have any more right to actually demand it than Bob would have; this is obvious.

nemma88 · 2015-05-05T10:07:20+00:00

No matter the gender or case it is vile to mislead people. It actually has little to do with sex or relationships or the outcome, misleading is bad.

If Ann mislead Bob by acting like she was attracted to him, I think most people would agree that is wrong. If Ann was mislead by Alan by omittance of the fact he only wanted sex from her, then I believe also most people would think it is wrong.

We could argue who's responsibility is it to settle 'gray' area actions and concepts, I would suggest the responsibility lies in the higher SMV party.

WS6Grumbles · 2015-05-04T13:25:12+00:00

Doesn't it depend on where you post your complaints ?

If Bob creates a post about the friendzone on 9gag , a lot of people will sympathize with him. If he posts his complaints on a feminist site, people will probably attack him.

If Ann complains about her problem on TheRedPill , people will laugh at her. If she posts on a feminist site , they will sympathize with her.

alcockell · 2015-05-04T23:43:31+00:00

Did Beta Bob pretend that he only wanted friendship and did he get pissed and angry when Average Ann turned him down? This is the usual scenario.

Did Alpha Alan not make it clear he only wanted sex and left Average Ann feeling confused? This is the usual scenario.

Whisper · 2015-05-04T20:29:44+00:00

Human beings of both sexes are hardwired to be more sympathetic to women.

[deleted] · 2015-05-07T12:43:57+00:00

I think that the two of them are equally wrong, you are not entitled to a relationship or to sex.

rulenumber303 · 2015-05-04T13:24:44+00:00

The current social standard seems to be that it is kinda shitty not to send an "I'm not feeling it" text if you've had more than one date or instance of hanging out with a new person in close succession and want to stop totally and immediately. I'm sorry if the expectation to text to break things off is too much commitment for Bob's manfeels to handle, but its the current social standard and not a particularly onerous one at that.

TheChemist158 · 2015-05-04T14:49:20+00:00

We don't really believe that. Neither are okay. Context matters a bit here. It's cruel to lead a person on. You still can't demand anything, but a person shouldn't make you think that you'll get what you want if you do what they want. This applies to either situation.

GridReXX · 2015-05-04T14:10:47+00:00

Why is it vile to "demand" sex but okay to "demand" a relationship?

Simple.

Us humans treat our own bodies as something sacred. A temple if you will. Not sure if this is because of religion or just a survival instinct.

Many think it's vile to demand access to someone's body.

Many think it's inappropriate to demand access to someone's time, but they don't necessarily think it's "vile." Just needy/annoying.

wombatinaburrow · 2015-05-04T13:41:35+00:00

They all sound like fuckwits, TBH.

You might want to look up the definition of confident and of aggressive, though, as they aren't synonymous.

[deleted] · 2015-05-04T20:39:22+00:00

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deadally · 2015-05-05T12:37:36+00:00

If women aren't "machines where you put in niceness and get sex in return" why is it okay to assume that men are "machines where you put in sex and get commitment"?

The Red Pill already answers this question. Women's sexuality is something not to be given lightly, according to our society. If a man has 20 relationships, then nobody bats an eye. If a woman has 20 sexual partners, then you have something that must be investigated to make sure she's not a slut.

This is a recurring theme in red pill theory. You all are the first to support the claim that a woman must defend her sexuality or be ostracized. No talk of defending a man's heart. So the answer to your question is basically self evident, according to our standards.

I do wonder if a society that doesn't put such a prize on womens' partner number wouldn't have this double standard you're asking about.

gregariousnefarious · 2015-05-05T21:51:30+00:00

Both of them are wrong. No one owes you anything. Not sex, not commitment. It would have made more sense if people didn't make blind assumptions about other people's intentions. Humans suck at that, and our broken assed cultural relationship to sex and commitment only makes us worse at inferring what's actually going on. But there's no point in feeling sad that people lambast you for complaining on the internet. You are not entitled to sympathy either.

[deleted] · 2015-05-06T21:26:37+00:00

I think demanding a relationship is more of demanding respect and to be looked at as more than a one night stand. I'm not saying you're a shit person if you sleep around. I think when demanding sex it comes across as someone thinking they are owed it. Which is not respectable behaviour.

[deleted] · 2015-05-04T13:37:32+00:00

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Title	Why is it vile to "demand" sex but okay to "demand" a relationship?
Author	Ultramegasaurus
Upvotes	25
Comments	62
Date	May 4, 2015 1:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/34tk3p/why_is_it_vile_to_demand_sex_but_okay_to_demand_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-it-vile-to-demand-sex-but-okay-to-demand-a.282349 https://theredarchive.com/post/282349

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