What Do You Think About Mark Manson's Advice of Expressing Your Emotions to Women?

__Atton__ · 2015-02-21T19:15:50+00:00

IIRC, Manson is a charismatic, muscular, white, "alpha" male with the height of a basketball player.

To be honest, his game could consist of firing rancid farts around women and he would still get laid like tile.

autoNFA · 2015-02-21T19:03:15+00:00

I never express vulnerability except with those I trust, and I'm slow to trust. That means many months of a stable relationship first, at least. I've never exposed vulnerability to a short-term partner, yet I haven't had any trouble getting laid. Oh sure, I've exposed myself to rejection, but that's not even close to the same thing.

exit_sandman · 2015-02-21T18:11:20+00:00

My take on this: when women say "I want man who is sensitive and opens up" they usually mean "I want the guy who checks all my other boxes to be sensitive every once in a while".

AFormidableContender · 2015-02-21T18:08:38+00:00

So first and foremost, you have to consider the source of the advice: Mark Manson is a very physically attractive man, who has a very interesting life and dates a YouTube model. He could be beta as fuck and he'd still get laid regularly.

Second, you have to consider the actual advice. I have read Manson's book, followed his blog, and tuned into some of his seminars and I honestly don't understand why people find him THE natural game PUA. Most of his advice is watered down, and half-hearted. Applying most of his advice without most of the same qualifiers he has would result in your being viewed as unattractive, not attractive, and the first like 40% of his book is him reiterating "be attractive. Don't be unattractive.".

IcarusBurning · 2015-02-21T18:13:52+00:00

I'm bluepill and I detest terms like "alpha", "shittest" and pretty much the entire RP dictionary. However...

It has been my observation in my own relationships that opening up only leads downhill. Every GF I've ever had has taken it as some personal affront, even when I'm talking about things totally separate and apart from our relationship. ("You being sad about something else makes me feel like I'm not a good girlfriend.")

Personally, I've yet to have an SO that didn't flat-out get angry at me when I expressed negative emotions or any form of self-doubt.

Now listen VERY CAREFULLY because this next part is important. I DO NOT subscribe to TRP beliefs; I simply believe that I have been unfortunate enough to date people who are fundamentally selfish. Such people exist everywhere on the gender spectrum.

COPCO · 2015-02-21T20:14:56+00:00

I think most people confuse opening up with looking weak. They assume this:

"I'm hurt by your actions" is a fundamental sign of weakness, and therefore completely unacceptable.

But it's not, it's a form of standing up for yourself. You just need to explain why.

"I'm hurt by your actions, because it's completely unacceptable to flirt with a coworker in front of me. It makes me embarrassed for others to see, and worse, makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm not OK with that behavior in our relationship."

That's not weakness, that's telling her exactly what's wrong. If she claims that's weakness, she's most likely not good at accepting criticism and is trying very hard to turn her obvious fuck up back onto you.

At that point, you need to decide how to move forward, or if you can.

So yes, I fully advocate opening up to a woman. It's how you solve problems.

EDIT: I did't see this part:

Is it too much to start talking about emotion if all you're looking for is a ONS? Why would you want to open up and express all your emotions to women?

Yes. That's a fucking stupid idea. It doesn't work in any situation. Forget sleeping with someone, would you even be friends with another dude, or a woman who did this to you? Probably not, because you'd question whether or not they have normal boundaries.

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-02-21T18:27:18+00:00

Who the fuck starts "opening up emotionally" to someone when all they're looking for is a ONS???

pathein_mathein · 2015-02-21T18:34:45+00:00

I think that's something of a misunderstanding of his point.

"Models" is focused on authenticity, on staking out clear values and expressing them, which naturally includes a certain degree of vulnerability. That potentially includes what we tend to mean when we use a phrase like "open up emotionally," but it isn't a given, and he includes anecdote where it's clearly not the right thing. It's not just spill your emotions to attract people, it's that honest intent and audacity is attractive.

I suspect that he'd say that talking about your emotions for a ONS is as inauthentic as anything else, because if you want a ONS, then that should be what you express.

pickup_sticks · 2015-02-21T18:37:32+00:00

In the book "Model", Mark Manson advises guys to open up to women emotionally.

He says to be vulnerable, not emotional. There's a difference.

Here's vulnerable: I'm an alcoholic. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Here's emotional: I'm an alcoholic because I'm a loser and no one will ever love me nor should they blah blah blah me me me.

Bakerofpie · 2015-02-21T17:47:14+00:00

Is there a link somewhere to his opinion? Based only on what you've described, I think it's a bad, or at least pointless, idea to open up emotionally to a ONS. Why would you do that? I don't even understand.

Aerobus · 2015-02-21T17:47:00+00:00

A link to his advice would be helpful, so I know what you're talking about.

Here's what I think: regardless of what some man/woman says, it is in a man's best interest to not express his emotions to women because it will cause her attraction to him to falter.

lev21pirate · 2015-02-21T17:55:29+00:00

Is it too much to start talking about emotion if all you're looking for is a ONS?

Yes. Absolutely.

In fact you ought to avoid talking about your emotions altogether if you have any interest long or short term relationships.

Why would you want to open up and express all your emotions to women?

Generally speaking, I think men are expected to be emotionless (not to say inhuman) and stoic in everyday life. A romantic interest is defaulted as someone with whom you could, theoretically, let your guard down and express what you've been bottling up: "Ill fight the world, but I'd rather not fight you. " type of thing.

Unfortunately, the way women evaluate your resolve is by shit-testing ,amongst other things , your emotions or lack thereof. You might have been kick-ass and taking names all day, if you come home with a heavy heart you better not let her know cause that's all she'll see.

To put it an other way; You'll end up a fake alpha in her eyes.

rebuildingMyself · 2015-02-25T10:17:35+00:00

It works really well when you're trying to get her to break up with you, since you fear her going crazy if you just leave.

plasticsleeper · 2015-02-21T20:51:30+00:00

haven't read models, but it all depends on how it is done really. it's one thing to say you have a problem/weakness with something, it's another thing to bitch about all of your problems all of the time and do nothign but that

strongalfalfa · 2015-02-21T21:20:59+00:00

I think it's great advice! I think men should be more expressive with their partners!

Title	What Do You Think About Mark Manson's Advice of Expressing Your Emotions to Women?
Author	feelinglazy
Upvotes	3
Comments	71
Date	February 21, 2015 5:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2wo7yk/what_do_you_think_about_mark_mansons_advice_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-about-mark-mansons-advice-of.283370 https://theredarchive.com/post/283370

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