What's your opinion of submissive or feminine men?

JediKnight1 · 2014-01-23T23:15:17+00:00

BTW why are masculine and submissive mutually exclusive? Hell I know outgoing, confident people who are "submissive". Hell I know men who cook, clean and are extremely caring and are extremely masculine in other ways.

As a non RPW I'm honestly confused about this whole dichotomy.

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-24T00:52:38+00:00

Completely and utterly turned off by submissive and/or feminine men. It's not as though I look at them with hatred and contempt; I wouldn't be opposed to being friends with one, but I could never think of them sexually at all.

[deleted] · 2014-01-24T11:25:14+00:00

The terms dominant/submissive in respect to relationships irritates me, because "dominance" is highly situational. It makes sense as a descriptor when you're talking about kink, because the "...is my role in the bedroom" part is implied. But when you're talking about a person, or gender as a whole it seems to imply a strict divide.

In terms of desire I think a lot of the sexual narrative is about the tension between the two. Example: Badass with a hidden sensitive side. Taming of the shrew and so on. Dominant/submissive are not static types of person, they're a constant struggle, which is what generates drama.

[deleted] · 2014-01-23T23:53:49+00:00

It is unclear to me if you are talking about submissive in the way the RPW are submissive, in that they defer to the opinion of their mate on pretty much everything and expect that person to make the big decisions and be in control.

Because I really feel like it is not a terribly healthy place to be for anybody. I get people are offended by that opinion but it is how I actually feel.

On the other hand, a guy who always seems to want to demonstrate dominance seems equally unwell to me.

I love balance. My very first screen name was Abraxas which I took from the Herman Hesse novel Demain. If you have read it, you know what I am getting out. A man must be both feminine and masculine to interest me. He must be comfortable being strong in asserting his will and comfortable letting me lead. I want it all. All of it. I want him to be grown up and mature and able to act like a silly little child.

Abracadanielle · 2014-01-23T21:20:56+00:00

Submissive and/or feminine men are, in my opinion, incredibly hot.

JediKnight1 · 2014-01-24T01:32:24+00:00

I think people should be whatever they want unless it is hurting people. I am pretty much a domme though...so maybe I am biased.

Those_Who_Remain · 2014-01-24T02:00:59+00:00

If you're happy being submissive, couldn't give a shit.

If you're being submissive but you don't really want to (most men) then figure out why you're being submissive (society) and take steps to break free of this psychological disorder (red pill)

IIHotelYorba · 2014-01-24T01:53:15+00:00

Nothing to do with me. Worrying about what others do with their own bodies or consensually with other people seems insane.

mikado12 · 2014-01-23T22:51:40+00:00

Who is this man trying to attract: men or women?

If he's trying to attract women by being submissive and feminine then he's just doing it wrong. I'm talking about being outwardly feminine and submissive.

If it's something more internal and private then he needs to tread carefully. I'm not opposed to a little role play, but it's not really fair if his SO isn't into it. Something like that can be a really big turn off.

If he's trying to attract men it's just a different discussion. TRP doesn't have a position on homosexuality; the forum is more about helping straight men.

alphabetmod · 2014-01-24T00:39:51+00:00

I would never shame a man or woman for being dominant or submissive. To each their own. If someone comes into RPW asking though I'd give them my honest opinion that more women prefer at least a little dominance in a man over submissiveness.

jmikolash · 2014-01-23T21:28:52+00:00

If that's what makes them happy, so be it. RP is for men who find themselves wanting more dominance in their sexual lives in contrast to the common sentiment of "supplication will lead to fornication"

Zackcid · 2014-01-24T21:29:09+00:00

I want to protect submissive men from ill-intentioned women.

masterrod · 2014-04-28T19:01:03+00:00

what are your thoughts of feminine or submissive men?

That's huge undertaking. If a man is comfortable with himself and feminine, so be it. There are several levels of feminine to speak about.
We have to strive as men and women to be comfortable with whom we are.

What about dominant or masculine women, or women who prefer feminine or submissive men?

A lot of High T women appear dominant, but are not truly dominant. If I go after a dominant woman, my interest is to dominate her sexually to the point that the dominance is an after thought. There are many different types of dominant women. Some women are dominant because they don't want their heart broken or as protection, some are dominant by choice, some are dominant because they have grown to distrust mean entirely, etc.

At the end of the day if people are happy so be it.

masterrod · 2014-01-24T05:50:46+00:00

I don't think about feminine men.

I like to sleep with women whom are dominant, only overwhelm with sexual pleasure. Masculine looking women are kind of a novelty to me, I always wonder when the feminine personality will come out (btw women bodybuilders are notoriously insatiably sexual).

Women that prefer feminine or submissive men are cool, not really my thing. I usually think that type of woman has a heavily guarded heart.

SigmaMu · 2014-01-24T10:19:12+00:00

I view dominant/submissive along the same lines as subject/object, the dominant acts according to his/her will, and the submissive submits to the dominant's will. So just in the act of a man approaching a woman he's already taken the dominant role. So a truly submissive man never takes that first step, or takes it rarely, being entirely unaccustomed to it. The woman sees him as submissive through his show of dominance and rejects him: The plight of the lonely beta.

The general advice given to men about dating is "Be confident." Of course, if you were actually confident, you wouldn't need advice in the first place. So the implication is "Fake it til you make it." or "Yes you're submissive, but mold yourself into a dominant, and women will respond."

As for women who like submissive men, more power too you. Being outside the norms of attraction means you get much less competition, and can have your pick, like chubby chasers. Hell, there's probably significant overlap.

TehGinjaNinja · 2014-01-24T21:05:31+00:00

what are your thoughts of feminine or submissive men?

They should be free to be who they are. I believe that for the vast majority of such men their femininity is an innate bias not a, to borrow a term, "life style choice". That being said, they should recognize that they are in the minority and have no right to try to set standards for the majority.

I tend to loose patience with feminine men when they refuse to acknowledge that they are feminine. Sometimes a feminine man will take offense the idea that he's "not a real man", and seek to define his femininity as a form of masculinity.

This is where much of the hostility towards feminine/submissive men comes from in TRP. All too many such men have been diluting or corrupting the ideal of masculinity, because they refuse to admit that their psychology and behavior are, to some extent, feminine.

What about dominant or masculine women, or women who prefer feminine or submissive men

Again, they are free to be who they are. However, they have no right to tell men that we should find it attractive, or to tell feminine women that they should be more dominant or masculine.

This is where, in large part, the hostility to Feminism in TRP comes from. Feminists promote the idea that masculinity in men and femininity in women are immoral. This is analogous the position the religious right takes on homosexuality. Both assert that the sexual-identity of their target group is shameful and deserving of condemnation and restriction.

Similarly, Feminist take the position that gender-roles are simply a "social construct"; i.e. a learned behavior rather than an innate one. Again, this is analogous to the religious right, who insist that homosexuality is simply a "life style choice". Feminists, then, often seek to correct masculine males via "education", much like the religious right offers to help homosexuals "pray away the gay".

Thus, both feminists and the religious right end up harassing their target groups with tactics of indoctrination and public shaming. It shouldn't surprise anyone that, just as the homosexual community is hostile to the the religious right in response to this, the masculine community is increasingly hostile to feminists.

Title	What's your opinion of submissive or feminine men?
Author	myfriendscantknow
Upvotes	12
Comments	143
Date	January 23, 2014 8:25 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1vyx7u/whats_your_opinion_of_submissive_or_feminine_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-opinion-of-submissive-or-feminine-men.286322 https://theredarchive.com/post/286322

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