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DB, found my wife cheated

Reddit View
October 8, 2019

Hello, first post here, very new to MRP. I have been in a dead bedroom for years at this point, something snapped in me near the end of August. Tired of who I was, where I ended up in life. the saying that a smoker can not stop smoking until he decided he can not live another day as a smoker, that was this feeling, I can't explain it any other way.

Since then I have lost 24 pounds, got a gym membership, started reading NMMNG, the Married Man Sex Life Primer and just ordered WISNIFG. Grow up, be a man, re-light that desire in my wife for me. that was the goal, but not doing it for her, doing it for me.

Fast forward a month later, I checked my wife's Facebook messenger and discovered she had an emotional affair with a guy about 5 years ago. I know exactly how I would have responded had this been two years ago or last year. I didn't feel much of anything. Sure a little sad, pissed and what not. But after a day, I didn't seem to give a shit. What I didn't know before that I understand now is AWALT, and I understand why she did what she did. It was because I had let myself go and became a beta loser and fat and worthless.

I started this journey with the goal of bettering myself so that my wife would find me attractive again, but now it's to put me in a better position to walk out the door for good when the time is right. And now is not the time, mostly due to financial reasons, but I'm just beginning the work and I still have a ways to go to get into shape.

As the Married Man Sex Life Primer taught me, a woman's sexual interest will increase when they are worried about losing their man to another woman, she knows that I could fuck off at any moment. As a result she won't leave my dick alone. After not sleeping in our bed for nearly 2 years. And I won't lie, the sex is QUALITY, of the quality we hadn't had in 10 years, but she is not doing it out of a place of attraction, perhaps a desire to keep me around, not desire for me.

My question after all of that... is it wrong for me to continue to fuck her brains out knowing I'm going to divorce her (by my calculation, around June of 2020)? I feel like I should be mad about the affair, but I'm not. It was my red line and she blew past it without thinking twice.

And of course the other option would be to work it out with her. I do love her, and we have two amazing kids together. I don't think I could trust her again, at the same time I wouldn't ever put myself in that position to be cheated on again. Not sure yet, but leaning towards the former.

Post Information
Title DB, found my wife cheated
Author PaPaKAPture
Upvotes 39
Comments 83
Date 08 October 2019 04:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]mrpthrowa68 points69 points  (10 children) | Copy

There is no morality in RP. Fuck her brains out then leave her.

If it helps you feel any better, she was totally ok cheating and deceiving you.

[–]SeamusAwl19 points20 points  (7 children) | Copy

^ so much this. While you get your head on straight, no harm in using her as sparring partner to build a stringer frame.

Now was it an emotional affair 5 years ago or an ongoing affair for the past 5? Because adults fuck. Keep that in mind.

[–]PaPaKAPture12 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

she says emotional, that it never got physical. She has been lying to me everyday for 5 years but needs me to believe her now, which I don't. Other dude fucked off to Tennessee several years ago, looks like she cut contact with him about 4 almost 5 years ago. Nothing else in her phone indicated to me that she had anything else with anyone else. She doesn't even have a lock on her phone, and didn't bother to delete that message chain so it was just sitting there.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret38 points39 points  (5 children) | Copy

So you confronted her? That is an important detail missing in your post?

You shouldn't have, but since you did, edit your post to detail this. I assume this dread sex you are having is her trying to keep you around while you ruminate over her "affair", not because you have become more attractive I assume. Big difference. For all you know she has a divorce plan for you too.

Also, what exactly was the level of offence we are talking about here?

[–]hack3geRed Beret15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

You know deepthroating, ass to mouth, choking/spanking - the usual shit women do with their affair partners.

He hasn’t improved shit - she’s just hysterical bonding to keep him on the hook. OP could in theory just use and abuse her but he doesn’t have the frame to do it - he would be better off just walking away.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol, never thought of it, but AWALT can become the new mantra for ultra BP fags. It isn't her fault she cheated, AWALT, really she is the victim here. I should give her some presents to show her I still love her and than I'm sorry I forced her to cheat.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read it while you can...

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of my favorite posts.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]tom-anonymous23 points24 points  (9 children) | Copy

Same boat as you. Found out 8 months ago she was obsessed with another guy and tried to hook up with him.

I tried to work it out but the trust will never return. Her sexual interest also increased to the point we're having sex everyday (sometimes twice a day). I told her last week I wanted a divorce. She is trying to get me back by seducing me constantly, despite the fact I'm moving forward. I still have sex with her, but in my mind she's not my wife anymore. She's just a plate. Do what you got to do and put yourself first. That's what your wife did after all.

[–]PaPaKAPture13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

We are on day 4 or 4 here, so yea. It is the same nagging feeling, I am never going to be able to trust this woman again. It's what I presumed I was going to do, enjoy it while it's here and continue the work on myself, then fuck off. Trade he in for a smaller, tighter, younger better looking model.

[–]hack3geRed Beret19 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy

Good ole hysterical bonding - it will stop in a few weeks.

A word of caution - if you stay and put in the work it gets harder to walk away when she starts enjoying gagging on your cock and getting face fucked. Ask me how I know.....

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

A word of caution - if you stay and put in the work it gets harder to walk away when she starts enjoying gagging on your cock and getting face fucked. Ask me how I know...

My exact thoughts. OP already left it open at the end of his post. He’s weak, and he will fold like a cheap suit

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

My biggest regret is not just walking away at the’s going to be an all out war when I decide to leave now.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It doesn’t have to be. If you allow it to be an all out war, it just increases her chances of manipulating you successfully

I went through a very nasty divorce in my first marriage (been remarried for 11 years). I’ll tell you what worked really well for me... I basically told her all communication needed to be put in writing (text, email). This took away the gray areas and manipulation pretty much. When it is in writing, it can be used it court if necessary. I used a couple things in my case. The funny part was she didn’t seem to understand the magnitude of putting certain things in writing . So, I just STFU (man it was hard to bite my tongue at times) and gave her enough rope to hang herself

Even in court after they read her texts, she didn’t “get it” until the judge basically let into her... mostly about stuff with the kids

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good stuff and lines up with my current plan. She’s crazy so she will hang herself for sure and honestly there’s really not much for her to fight me on that she could actually win. We make almost the same money, I’m way more involved in the kids daily lives with sports and school which is all documented.

My concern is I’ve seen how fucking crazy she can get in the months leading up to our first main event and almost had to call the police one time so I know what she’s capable of.

I’d like to think I could frame things in a way where it would amicable but I’m only one variable in the equation. It would have been easier to just walk when she wanted me to.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]InChargeManRed Beret14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, am I to understand that you confronted her 4 days ago, and the "QUALITY" sex you are talking about has been literally just the last few days?

[–]tom-anonymous12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

"We are on day 4 or 4 here, so yea. It is the same nagging feeling"

Trust me it doesn't go away. Not day 4, not day 200.

"Trade he in for a smaller, tighter, younger better looking model"

Don't think of it as a trade in. Think of it as a lease or rental that you can end at anytime.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill44 points45 points  (2 children) | Copy

Some simple rules in the Redpill.

Rule Zero: sex is the goal. Get the sex you want out of life. All other rules are subordinate to this rule.

Rule number something-something. Women never get promoted once they get demoted. If a woman in your life gets demoted because she fucked up and failed to follow the rules, implied or explicit, she will get demoted to a lower title, as you see fit for the value she provides.

So given these two maxims, you have plenty of options. One guy way back plated his wife. He divorced her, told her that she was free to fuck who she wanted, and then proceeded to fuck her on the reg. She wanted back in but he said, "This is it, take it or leave it."

Others have ejected their wives and gone on to find new relationships.

There's probably a few who have stayed too.

In the end? There's no right answer because as originally stated, rule zero is paramount. The bluepill answer? A successful marriage ends with someone standing next to a box. The redpill answer? Only let people into your lives in a way that they add more value than you have to put in.

Your wife's ability to compartmentalize things is what got you into this problem. She was easily able to switch off certain morals and loyalties, and revert right back to 'happy homemaker'. What happens when you compartmentalize things? Taken as a sum of the whole, is a lack of trust, less than all else?

[–]Odawg2256 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Underrated answer right here. Sidebar material

[–]z2a1-92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]RicoDunne11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Message on the phone from 5 years ago and not hidden or locked.... she wanted you to find it to force you to kill the puppy.

Kill it and enjoy body while doing it

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

When you look in the mirror, what does it say to you.

[–]PaPaKAPture26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

that I need to STFU and hit the gym

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice. Keep that real.

[–]bowhunter8574 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

Define emotional affair? Just talking to each other or talking about fucking?

[–]PaPaKAPture8 points9 points  (9 children) | Copy

Not in overtly explicit terms. Like he would messenger her at work telling her he wants to pin her up against the wall. She hinted at wanted be sexual with him in her car ( that I paid for no less ) using emojies rather than words.

I don't know what they talked about on the phone, only what was sent via messenger. Once she was out with her coworkers she claimed she had a hall pass, and other times tried to get him to meet up with her while out w/ her coworkers, but from what I could deduce, he never did meet up with her during those nights out. Don't know and never will know.

[–]SeamusAwl15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

That isnt an emotional affair. That was a physical one. Test your kids because that sounds like it wasnt her first rodeo nor was he her first bull.

[–]PaPaKAPture9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is on my list to dos.

[–]hack3geRed Beret22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dude there is no such thing as an emotional affair - they fucked lots. He was balls deep her tight asshole in her car and she was screaming in pure ecstasy.

Stop fucking hamstering the bullshit - you know exactly what I’m talking about.

[–]redismyfuture10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

He never met up with her? lol. You know he made that shit work when she was texting him offering him ass to mouth. These jokers thinking it was only emotional are so delusional.

[–]hack3geRed Beret15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she was pursuing him then they fucked 100% - if it was just him pursuing her it comes down to game and opportunity at that point.

[–]redismyfuture4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, And they banged.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]bowhunter8577 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man I don’t think I could ever get passed that. I know it’s really hard having small children but that crosses the line for me. Either she fucked him(yes would be my guess) or she was at the very least trying.

[–]tom-anonymous5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the heart of the matter and one that took me a long time to resolve. At the end of the day trying to fuck is equal to fucking.

[–]HIJKelemenoP5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck hookers.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

married ones for sure haha

[–]bowhunter85710 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

“But she is not doing it out of a place of attraction, perhaps desire to keep me around but not desire for me”

Regardless of what you end up doing with this woman cut this shit above out. That is a validational weak thought process. If a woman is giving you frequent quality sex don’t try and figure out why, stay out of her head. Men using sex as validation will dry women up instantly Bc of the way you act if you are denied.

[–]helaughsinhidden4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

First of all, good for you with regards to finding your balls and MRP. All is fair in love and war right? Keep fucking her brains out, improving your game on her, flirting, passing shit tests, showing your kids what a quality man looks like, and how a quality man treats himself and those he is in charge of. You may or may not leave her, but don't live your life based on things that may never come. Right now, she's your wife, you are her husband, you are improving and that hard work is bearing fruit. Don't let up on the gas pedal or start to take days off on account that she is actually responding positively, that would actually be a huge mistake and a common one by men in here.

[–]PaPaKAPture4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

nah, like my smoker comment in my original post, I refuse to live a single day of my life settling for less than what I deserve from myself. That much I am positive. I'll keep an open mind over the next 6 months and re-evaluate things then.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.03 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look it sounds like you are headed in the right direction but slow the role Rambo. I am not saying don't divorce her but how about you start with getting your shit in order and becoming an attractive man before you decide to live out this grandiose divorce fantasy, that FYI will not play out the way you think it will.

she is not doing it out of a place of attraction, perhaps a desire to keep me around, not desire for me.

Watch Rians video here if you want a great break down of what desire is or isn't.

At the end of the day, you have to live with you. All you should be worried about is you and your kids, fuck the rest, keep fucking the dog shit out of your wife as you should have been doing, prep for the divorce and your life afterward and then decide what you want to do.

[–]JameisBong3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience women do whatever the fuck they want as long as it FEELS good in the moment. Have fun with her and let her go. The emotional affair is the one you find out about,for all you know she slept with the entire local football team. Divorce, start over and do not get married ever again.

[–]sigmaintp4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

tldr: AWALT

  • Your "value" went down...she cheated - AWALT
  • 5 years ago...she was a lying, cheating WHORE - AWALT
  • 5 years ago...she was married to a "cuckable" she cucked - AWALT
  • "Kick her ass to the CURB...she knew the consequences"...then what? Go homo? That's your only option! Because..... - AWALT
  • 5 years "organically" began self improvement (you likely "knew" something was wrong). She responded with wetness. - AWALT
  • Now...."discovery" (be ready for the slow...steady drip of more discoveries or realizations).
    • Option 1 - Kick her ass to the curb! She knew the consequences! Fuck Her! Fuck the FAMILY! Find a new woman...knock out pussy ALL OVER the place! But guess what...pussies are attached to WOMEN...and..... - AWALT!
    • Option 2 - Recognize who she WAS (but ALWAYS "thought" you knew who she was 5 years ago)...but also recognize WHO YOU WERE! She was the were the "good man" just BEGGING to be cucked! - AWALT

You can't DO a DAMN thing about her! She may be bowed up at the front of the train RIGHT NOW....waiting for cock # would NEVER know! The ONLY thing you control is YOU! The only thing (other than your kids) that you LIVE for is YOU!

Your story is mine as well...but mine is MORE. Mine DID fuck...more than one guy! Mine lied as well. Slow ass drip drip drip of "discoveries" on my part for 3 years after getting "caught" (I caught her "meeting up" with dude "for coffee") buuuttt...."nothing happened". But it a MINIMUM...she "showed up" for the "possibility". Whether it was coffee or COCK had been entirely up to him! All he had to say was "lets go"...and she'd have been at StarFucks. He didn't....not that time anyway...dumbass chad (make a note here for your own adventures later). Much more to "my story"...but I won't bore anyone with the details of... - AWALT

My decision...for now anyway...I'm TRYING to remember that while she was a lying, cheating, manipulative, sack of shit, worthless WHORE....I was the EXACT opposite side of HER coin! I was her BETA poon "good man" husband that she (a) Felt like she could get away with it with...(b) Didn't give a fuck. (c) All the above. And guess what....I WAS THAT FUCKER! Oh yeah... - AWALT!!!

We have 3 wonderful boys together. I have a dual responsibility to them. Show them how a MAN is...but also not fuck them up for the future by twisting their little souls with the reality of their GD mother....with the reality of ALL women!!! - AWALT edit: (Those lessons WILL be taught when they are ready...right now, the least harmful "teacher" is my example.)

I know...she knows I know. She knows that the next time I have an "opportunity" to knock on a side piece...well...why the fuck not? (that "wasn't me" before...because that "wasn't us". I know better now.) She knows that IDGAF. She knows that I AM ME NOW! I'm living MY LIFE...for MY BOYS! I'm "letting" their mother stay...and I fuck the shit out of her! I choke fuck her from behind till she goes limp...and NUTT while she's out...and she fucking LOVES it! For me....I bought a bike (just came home with "discussion"). Building a cafe racer, scrambler, tracker...idk yet. I grew up on bikes...they are a part of ME. The old me didn't ride because she didn't like it. FUCK HER! Be back later...I'm gonna ride! You can smell my cock when I get back!

We might "make it"...might not...don't really care. But I can promise her one thing...that "good guy" husband that she fucked around on...he ain't here no more!...and you better learn to fucking swallow...because I know a few girls that -SWALT ;-)

***...He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. “Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!” The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned:

“You knew what I was when you picked me up.” - AWALT

Oh yeah...first post here. I had to start a new account for the new "me". Agree...disagree...I don't really GAF...I know who I am. I know where I'm headed. I know what I want. I know what I don't want. I know what I need. Your mileage may vary.. - AWALT

[–]tom-anonymous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a really good post. I think the only way to stay in such a situation without losing your mind is to do what you've done. In your head you demoted her, and there's no being promoted back once something like this happens. You've given me something to think about in my situation.

[–]WishIWasAMuppet11 points12 points  (9 children) | Copy

Tired of the cliche RP advice that treats children as if they are just household pets that pull no weight in decisions that will have a much greater impact on their lives than yours. If it was just you two I’d say send her packing. But the wreckage left in the wake of parents splitting is horrendous. Much of the mentality of these “experts” goes that sacrificing your kids’ well-being pales in comparison to getting your condom-wrapped dick wet with Tinder thots. Take a boulder of salt when getting advice for a decision that could upend not just your life but two others as well. In all likelihood these internet randoms are just fat office chair Rambos with no experience with your situation.

A lot of “men” on here speak with big dick energy but often just default to the easy decision, mashing on the “Eject and fuck plates” button. It’s hard to stay and work it out. But it seems like your family has a solid core to work with. Maybe you can’t be sure she wont cheat again, but if the sex is quality, not sure why you should be so paranoid about it. Maybe stay and up the dread with Tinder on the side. And you share in the blame for her affair because you were a fuckface beta.

[–]tom-anonymous12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

"In all likelihood these internet randoms are just fat office chair Rambos with no experience with your situation."

182 lbs @ 12% BF here who went through a similar experience. I went through this 8 months ago. Wanted to stay for the kids. Looking in the mirror each day and seeing a man who stays with a cheater will eat you up inside. Don't stay for the kids. It was her choice that destroyed your family - not yours. Don't be a beta chump and take it up the ass. Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows, but you have a choice in drawing a line in the sand and not making any acception.

"Maybe you can’t be sure she wont cheat again, but if the sex is quality, not sure why you should be so paranoid about it."

Maybe she won't cheat again, but as long as the sex is good don't be so paranoid? Jesus what a cuck.

"And you share in the blame for her affair because you were a fuckface beta."

Understand that your actions may have contributed to becoming a catalyst in her affair, but understand she was the one who lit the match.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Two things about this answer:

  1. The psych literature seems to indicate that parents fighting is what fucks kids up, rather than parents divorcing per se. If he can eject without it becoming dramatic, and still be around as a dad, his kids will have to come to understand in time that it was their mother that set a bomb in the marriage, not dad.

  2. Yes, he has some blame for being the sort of guy a woman wants to cheat on. But the idea that he should suck it up and just pretend it didn't happen is not good advice. He's not going to be able to forget it, and eventually things will turn dramatic. See point 1.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The psych literature seems to indicate that parents fighting is what fucks kids up, rather than parents divorcing per se.

Not all of it does. There is a school of thought that divorce is going to fuck your kids up no matter what - and the effects are long-term, not just in the years immediately after the breakup. That said, low-conflict divorce is obviously better than high-conflict divorce.

[–]sigmaintp0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Observationally... I personally (currently) disagree with point 1. My wife came from a childhood where she knew that her Dad was cheating on her Mother. Me...seemingly no infidelity within 1000 miles. Therefore...not in my "playbook"...but it WAS in HER "playbook".

I don't want to place that in my boy's "playbooks" least not too soon. At least that's what I've been struggling with. On one hand..."KICK HER ASS to the CURB!!!" on the other... "Suck it up" so I don't put that shit in my boy's playbooks as a future "option". I think too soon...if they are too young...that shit buries down DEEP in their psychology. If older...they can observe or "know" the reality without it fucking them up.

I think the MOST important thing is Point 2. Address that CHUMP ASS BETA example that your children (especially boys) are observing in "Dad"!

Suck it up? Maybe. Pretend it never happened? Not in a MILLION fucking years!! Fight about it? Why? Whats to fight about? "I know who you were...I know what you did." I'm gonna be ME now! Keep up...or find the door! Don't matter to me. I've already "lost" the wife I used to "have". Truth is....I never did. - AWALT

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Observationally... I personally (currently) disagree with point 1. My wife came from a childhood where she knew that her Dad was cheating on her Mother. Me...seemingly no infidelity within 1000 miles. Therefore...not in my "playbook"...but it WAS in HER "playbook".

I don't understand what you're trying to say.

[–]sigmaintp0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I mean that I currently disagree with Point 1, due to my personal observation, experience, and study. I believe that our childhood backgrounds shape our paradigms in later adulthood. For my wife...she grew up knowing about her Dad's cheating...and her Mom's apparent "tolerance". For her...THAT HAPPENS...She's lived it. For me..the opposite...ZERO infidelity (that I knew of)...and my paradigm was one of "that's not me"..."people that love each other don't do that".

I "failed" to recognize that IT REALLY DOES HAPPEN (of course I knew it did...but had never "lived" it).

She...knew that it DOES HAPPEN...she HAD lived it...even HATED her Dad for it...Hated her Mother for tolerating it. What stage did this set?

Brainstorming here:
Foundation...Mom is female...she is female. Mom is her "example". She hates Mom's "tolerance". = "I WILL NOT BE LIKE MOM!!"

Dad is a Male. Husband is a male. Dad cheated. = "My husband is gonna I may as well beat him to the punch...or cheat also"...I WILL BE LIKE DAD!

No matter how you slice it...the knowledge of a parent's infidelity is gonna fuck something up in your head.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe knowing about cheating fucks people up. Never said it didn't. What "point 1" said was that damage definitely comes from fighting parents, but does not necessarily come from non-fighting divorce.

[–]sigmaintp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True 👍

[–]Odawg225-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

The "elephant in the room" answer. See you at the top of this thread.

[–]adeptintact1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

From your other comments, that is a pure physical affair. Divorce takes 6 months anyway once you initiate to become final.

Sounds more to me you are trying to reason your way to delay the inevitable divorce because you fear it, after she completed disrespected and cuckolded you.

[–]PaPaKAPture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I ran the numbers, I can't afford a divorce at this moment. fear of bankruptcy? maybe. fear of being alone? fuck no.

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There are no such things as only emotional affairs unless you literally catch it in the first couple weeks of existence.

She 100% banged him.

[–]PaPaKAPture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sure she did. that's why I stated that I didn't believe her.

Even if she didn't it doesn't change for me.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you need the sex and validation that badly, then do it. For me, it just clouds your drive to spend any time thinking about a person you’re going to flush out of your life. It also has a high risk of confusing your intent (why am I doing this again?) or delaying your goal.

When my(48) divorce began about 6yrs ago, it was the awakening that I’d fucked off and fell asleep at the wheel for about the prior eight years (if you’re doing math, that’s 14yrs ago, or when I was 34). What happened? Well, I was fed up w/ my wife. Low value, gaining weight. Had one kid(3) and circling the drain to make another. But I wasn’t sure that is where I wanted to be with her. Fast forward a few years and now we’ve got two kids and wife is now definitely fatter and more of a raging bitch but she’s really ducking my brains out whenever and all the time. But now I’m talking about divorce and she’s like “you know what would be awesome big_daddy_pdx? We should find young single college girls to fuck together!!” So for about 6yrs things changed and there were lots of threesomes and solo flights and my record is 3 at once. Now I had hot young pussy on tap. When I travelled on business, suddenly, everyone was fair game. Life was great!! But not really. Finally divorced, things got expensive, sold the house, and my GF(32) is an HB9 bikini model and is an excellent First Mate.

The point is, pussy will distract you. Don’t fuck Ex’s or STBX’s as shit gets confusing.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You might be the type of guy who deserved to get cheated on.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Apparently she kept the messages with no attempt at covering it up. Maybe she was trying to kill the puppy?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What, no link?

[–]CryptoManbeard0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How many of us get upset about the woman who stays in a marriage she can't stand due to the financial stability? This is the same situation in reverse.

My motto is to live righteous. Everything you do should be from a decision of strength and honesty with yourself.

If you want to leave the bitch for cheating on you, leave her. If you want to work it out, work it out. I think sticking around for half-ass pussy for some random arbitrary date in the future is a cop-out TBH. Make a decision and stick to it, be decisive, that's what you're striving for right?

[–]PaPaKAPture0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There are more wrinkles than I put in my OP. The only reason I am not meeting with a lawyer right now is I can't afford to. divorce would bankrupt me, mostly because she is irresponsible with money, we have no savings. I need to start stashing money away and paying debt off first. I can't cut my nose off to spite my face. Especially being my career depends on maintaining an impeccable credit score, and the next year and a half is especially important for that.

[–]CryptoManbeard1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you think sticking around will make her responsible with money? Have you cut the bleeding?

[–]whammyface0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Unless you had her sign a Postnup, yourE an idiot.

[–]PaPaKAPture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

was an idiot. Of course I WAS an idiot, I thought she was the one, that she married for love lmao

I'm not in a terrible position, I'm going to fight for joint custody. I paid off her car, she can have it. she prob can't afford to keep the house so will sell it and sure have to split the profit, prob 5k each. we still owe on it

she is about to make more than me so no alimony.

honestly the only think I want is my computer. I couldn't care any less about the rest of it.

[–]Praexology0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'd make sure you are Divorce-Proof if you are waiting until june. There is ALWAYS a chance she could figure out your intentions and use your 'gift' of time to gather lawyers and bend you over the bunker.

I would recommend doing this regardless of if you are planning to stay or leave.

When an animal knows it's day-to-day is about to change, they'll react like they're backed into a corner. A woman backed into a corner is to be feared if you're not prepared. Society has her back, not yours.

[–]PaPaKAPture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Will do, thanks for the advice.

[–]proplfax0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

like glover says, you need to know what the fuck you want- what are your likes and your dislikes? and if you know, why are you not able to be the final judge of them? if you are the final judge of your likes and dislikes, why do you have to ask a bunch of cucks (possibly literally, but certainly metaphorically) on reddit?

maybe she cheated bro, maybe she didn't. no body here has a fucking clue, they're just cucks that get off thinking about it (notice one guy used "bull" seriously). does it matter if she's a partial degenerate or a complete degenerate? trust is gone either way. thinking about it more is you trying to salvage some validation from her.

I wouldn't ever put myself in that position to be cheated on again

meaning what, you're going to care even more and start mateguarding?

marriage is already a surrender. you've surrendered your sexual strategy for some hoe. the game now is either to start a new game, or just try to lose less.

[–]PaPaKAPture2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

she had her affair because my SMV went through the floor. I got lazy. I didn't create attraction. I didn't keep myself in shape. I let her control the relationship. all things that I will never do again to myself. that's my reading of it anyways, perhaps I'm wrong

and that will never be the issue with her or any other relationship I have again. that's what I mean by not putting myself in the position ever again.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have no control over another person - there is no way to avoid hypergamy. You are thinking about this the wrong way.

See my comments on Daddy Thundercocks recent post about this exact issue.

[–]proplfax1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yea i feel you. just figure out your likes and dislikes and make a final judgement because you're a mother fucker and you don't need opinions from a bunch of faggots that larp professionally.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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