Feel terrible for my female friend --it only takes one thing to act as a dealbreaker

cassandrarose39 · 2019-10-29T19:24:10+00:00

Tell her so she can decide if she wants to quit.

This isn’t a out of left field deal breaker. It’s actually quite common for people looking to settle down and start a family.

I wouldn’t be with someone who did this but even more importantly my husband wouldn’t have married me or anyone who did either of these things.

It’s not tragic it’s smart.

ihearthandbags · 2019-10-29T18:25:40+00:00

I’m not sure there is anything tragic about this. Your friend has a right to be uncomfortable with the others pot smoking and level of drinking. Even if you feel it’s not a problem it clearly is to him. He’s looking for a wife and a mother for his future children these are valid concerns. If she’s interested in him she could start a conversation with him about possibly dating and he could voice his concerns and they could go from there. But if neither one of them cares enough to bring it up then it’s not really a loss.

I have a girlfriend who is considering breaking up with boyfriend of over a year because he smokes weed more than she’s comfortable with. It’s only a concern to her because she wants to have kids and doesn’t want drugs around her children. I don’t think anyone would tell a woman to chill out and accept drugs around their family if they’re not okay with it. Your friends will eventually find the right people for each of them.

_your_cat_is_ugly · 2019-10-30T12:42:40+00:00

I think you need to tell her the truth, it's your duty as a friend. Maybe the partying lifestyle in her 30s is scaring away the men who want to settle down.

loneliness-inc · 2019-10-29T20:36:43+00:00

Two things:

I was like "dude, she doesn't drink much at all, and she never smokes pot around me"

Don't try and negotiate with deal-breakers. Respect them. Especially deal-breakers that involve unhealthy lifestyle choices such as drugs and alcohol. If that's a deal-breaker for him, let it be. Don't push the issue.

She can't understand why this guy hasn't made a romantic move towards her, and I don't have the heart to tell her.

Has she signaled her availability to him or issue just sitting on her ass, waiting to be swooped off her feet?

Also,you aren't doing her any favors by not telling her the truth. You're just prolonging her unnecessary suspense and doubt.

zerofeetpersecond · 2019-10-29T18:34:33+00:00

Mentioning that she is “cultured” and has a graduate degree is irrelevant to most men. I know “cultured” people who are raging alcoholics.

In regards to the pot, there are plenty of great guys who use it that would love to meet a woman who also uses it. Why does she have to be with this one guy in particular?

Pola_Lita · 2019-10-30T07:33:17+00:00

He can't be the first person she's ever come across who feels the way he does about pot. Pretending you don't know his view isn't the action of a friend. Tell her.

Taters0290 · 2019-10-30T19:41:22+00:00

As a woman I’d want to know this information. My husband was quite shy. If it wasn’t for friends intervening he probably would’ve never asked me out. They literally told him I’d accept. Sometimes those of us who are dating challenged need friends to help us get together.

[deleted] · 2019-10-29T19:14:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Blackishcat27 · 2019-10-30T14:56:11+00:00

You should tell her. I would want to know. After my second date with my now husband I quit smoking permanently. I never picked it up again. He was worth it to me

Dollfacemcgeee · 2019-10-31T14:05:41+00:00

I think you should be honest with her and let her decided how to go forward. I don’t smoke but my H does and he’s very intelligent & successful. The alcohol I can understand but some of the most amazing people I know are pot smokers. If I were her, that would be an actual deal breaker for me.

Eulogy466 · 2019-10-31T18:09:27+00:00

You are all sad, judge mental, and pathetic. Op stop being her friend if you can’t except who she is. Its a free world people can make their own choice on wether or not they use a plant

throw_the_switch · 2019-10-31T18:47:40+00:00

Why is this such a big deal? Just tell her and she can find someone more compatible. People have dealbreakers, it's normal, not tragic. He doesn't like pot smokers, there are plenty of guys who smoke now and again who want a wife who'll smoke a bowl with them. I personally wouldn't date a regular pot smoker, but would equally write off someone who is teetotal, it's just the preferences that line up with my lifestyle.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-10-31T18:59:49+00:00

So it is against our rules to ask for advice on behalf of others. I don't think that's what you are trying to do here but it is how others are reading the post. The lesson you are trying to convey needs to be more clearly articulated because it's not coming across. In the meantime I'm removing the post. If you want to rephrase it so the lesson is clearer you can let me know and I'll reapprove.

vintagegirlgame · 2019-10-29T18:28:44+00:00

Hmm wondering if her weed habit is a dealbreaker for her or if it’s something she would happily give up for the right relationship?

It’s legal or close to it in most places these days so wondering what makes him so against it. But sounds like personality wise she’s just not his type.

Title	Feel terrible for my female friend --it only takes one thing to act as a dealbreaker
Author	Manny1400
Upvotes	0
Comments	29
Date	October 29, 2019 6:13 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dotql2/feel_terrible_for_my_female_friend_it_only_takes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/feel-terrible-for-my-female-friend-it-only-takes.293225 https://theredarchive.com/post/293225

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