37, all sidebar, weekly OYS poster on a roller coaster.

If you’ve seen my posts you’ve heard this story before. I’m on test and take viagra since roughly January. Things have been up and down.

Recently had sex 3x in 5 days, she initiated last time. Next night had some wine and a bath together so I initiated again. Hard no, laughed it off, told her it’s fine we just had sex yesterday. She said “I know, it just makes me insecure.” Kiss forehead and go to sleep. The next day I get some shit tests, pass them and covert her from bitchy to smiling and playful, I don’t initiate.

Friday I have to leave for business. We run some errands together then return home to pack. I initiate, get laser eyes but she is compliant. I’ve been getting more kinky lately so I pull out the bed tie/handcuffs. We haven’t used them in 4 years, but she knows I have them. She flips out. There are tears involved(not mine). Same shit how she hates I’m on test and it’s ruining our sex life and makes her not want to have sex w me and I’m different.Actions contradict her as we’ve been having more and better sex.

I don’t apologize or say I’m going to change. I say I’m happier, I have a high libido and the kinkier the sex the better. I also say I want to have sexual w someone that actually wants to have sex with me and if that’s not her that’s fine. This did not go over well and I was told to move out then. (There was way too much talking I know.)

Honestly it’s the Viagra that makes things different, my dick works how I’ve always wanted it too. She doesn’t know I take that.

JohnnyA already told me to stop taking it and give her a break, I probably should have listened to him. Addiction runs in my family, and sex is mine currently.

So thinking long term at this point, should I come clean finally? I’m not afraid of doing that, but it would definitely hurt her. I also don’t want to stop taking it. Or do I back off, continue to improve and become someone she fully submits to? I have ordered Cialis that I was going to switch to so that I didn’t take something and expect to have sex.

What do I want to do is what you are going to tell me along with I’m a faggot who repulses his wife. I’m not thinking clearly and need some objective advice tho. Hammer away.