I know im not worthless, why do i get treated like i am?

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November 11, 2019
114 upvotes

I've got nothing but hard rejection for a while now. Romantic, sexual, and social. Had to break it off with a romantic partner because she rejected my affections. I'm regularly rejected at clubs and on tinder. I get socially rejected trying to make plans with aqaintances. I haven't been able to make friends. People treat me like trash. I'm always alone.

I'm a well adjusted, funny guy. I'm over 6 foot tall, fit, white, and I have a jawline. It's not like I'm new to any of this social shit either.

I'm really struggling with my whole world telling me I'm worthless this extensively. I'm mentally tough but being singularly isolated in such a social environment is incredibly depressing. Since I started college its been like this alot. I'm at the point where I'm completely miserable here and am considering taking a job offer and giving up on getting an education. Should things continue, I'll have no choice. I cannot sacrifice my mental health. I don't want to start relying on drugs for happiness again. I put alot on the line to get to college in the first place.

What would advice would a male role model like trp offer me? Monk mode? Suck it up and grind?


Post Information
Title I know im not worthless, why do i get treated like i am?
Author Poopidtyscoopdipoop
Upvotes 114
Comments 71
Date 11 November 2019 07:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/294785
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dup0mc/i_know_im_not_worthless_why_do_i_get_treated_like/
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Comments

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy

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[–]Gandalfthegrey23237 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just said desperation. That’s your issue. People sense this very easily and it drives everyone away.

[–]mabev435680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you too strict with yourself?

Like never doing anything wrong?

[–]ElegantCyclist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Status/coolness first. We don't know what's going on with this guy from what he's said.

[–]btrpb26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not give up on education just because you aren't getting pussy.

That would be a dumb fucking move that is going to affect the rest of your life.

You are at a low SMV. You need to build it. And that takes time. Get your studies done, work on you're wardrobe (I'm guessing you dress like dog shit), and have patience.

[–][deleted] 136 points137 points  (15 children) | Copy

"I'm mentally strong"

"All I want to do is get high"

"I'm well adjusted and funny"

"No one wants to talk to me"

"I'm 6ft, fit, jawline, white"

"I think these things matter, I have completely missed the point of the red pill, and am now seeing the limitations of my incel logic"

Either 1, 3, 5 are true, or 2, 4, 6 are. But it can't be both.

So, here's what you do:

  1. Stop lying to yourself.

  2. Stop constructing an idea of an identity of yourself. You have none right now.

  3. Release yourself of all expectations.

  4. Practice getting rejected. A lot. Dealing with it, and learning from it.

  5. Shut the fuck up.

  6. Stop giving a fuck.

Yes, this is male life. Kill yourself, or learn, get better, live, free. Either way, don't bother me about it again.

[–]HumbleTrees12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great response

[–]cyyr4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean if he wants to fuck with those ideas about himself he could. He should just ditch all the negative energy he’s carrying around. Sounds like that’s holding him back more. Sounds like some internalized self image of himself cause of rejection. Doesn’t go without saying he should definitely improve on SMV and should stop giving a fuck

[–]iteal8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

Either way, don't bother me about it again.

I mean, that's the whole point about asktrp, isn't it?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

No. This is a place for solutions. If there's one thing I've learnt being in sales, it's that everyone's got a sob story, and if you give them half a chance, they'll take 3hrs telling you all about it in great detail. Normally, I wouldn't be so harsh, but if I give him half a chance to respond, he'll spend another 500 words telling me how his mother doesn't love him. It won't help him, and it'll be a waste of my time. There is nothing to be gained by indulging either his delusions or his victim mentality, and any inch in that regard will only reinforce it. I refuse to give him that inch so he can justify to himself why the world's out to get him when he's this perfect man. He wanted advice, he got it, if he doesn't want to push himself that's his problem, I won't indulge him or let him make it mine.

[–]BusterVadge7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm in sales and I can 100% confirm. There are people like this who believe that their case is special. But there are no special cases. All of the stories have already been told, and telling them is just as much a waste of time as listening to them.

The sooner that OP realizes the better.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]no_re-entry0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tom Hopkins

[–]EdvardMunch-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you selling to him? There just isnt much reason for the cringey big man glengarry speech act over the internet. Give the dude advice or get out, I dont wanna hear about how you dont wanna hear about it. So go ahead and respond like you will because I told you to. ;)

Trust me ive played victim before, and nothing will get you out of it until youre tired of it. I doubt a "man this guy on trp really set me straight, think im gonna change my life now". But if your intentions are for his benefit great but TRP is still and always will largely be a refuge and a pissing contest.

[–]EdvardMunch2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Great response but had to eyeroll at the dont bother me about it again. Cuz first off you chose to read and reply, you always choose. Secondly this projection of I have better things to do while answering TRP questions is a joke. Just own it.

[–]a-large-L1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ve noticed a lot of people in here speak from their high horse. That was really cringe.

[–]EdvardMunch1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah.. its asktrp, this duded asked a question not directed at this dude. Idk, maybe this is tiktok.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read my comment below.

[–]Killionaire2k11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok - you want brutal honesty?

Based on reading your post you come off as someone who is chasing after people's affirmation; you sound needy, while also trying to rationalize in your mind that you are ok and it's not your fault. You need to take a step back and look at yourself, it may be the way you speak to these people, your facial expressions etc. I cannot say, because I don't see you in person.

What I can say is based on this post, you use negative words - "always," "people treat me like trash," "people reject me" you appear to have low self confidence and you allow your feelings to govern how you view other people's perception of you

Others are not responsible for how you are feeling, and in fact a lot of people quite frankly get repulsed by that behavior. Can you blame people for wanting to get far away from someone they feel is needy?

You can't control what other people think of you, youve got to realize that you have all the power to make changes in your life without these people's help.

My highest and utmost important bit of information is that you need to start doing things for yourself and what truly makes you happy, stop thinking about how others perceive you. Act as if you are the prize while keeping arrogance and cockiness in check

This may come in the form of a hobby, etc be yourself and believe in that

The big question now is, are you going to continue to let people treat you like trash, or will you put them in their place?

This is all stemmingoff of what I read.

[–][deleted]  (14 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted]  (11 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted]  (9 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Climbing, running, hiking, rowing, boxing/mma, lifting, language study are all things with clubs or Meetup(.com)s.

Travel abroad or take a semester abroad, especially in Asia. You’ll never be rejected. I just came back from a two week vacation in Korea and talked to and connected with more people there at the bar than I have in LA in a year.

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy

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[–]jonsmif979712 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Im a straight white male so theres no social club for my heritage, gender, sexuality, etc.

You have this big fucking victim mentality. First, you don't need a trait to have a hobby. ^ this shit is a fucking excuse. Do you need to be Asian to join the ukulele club? Do you need to be transgender to learn Salsa?

[–]frognads5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It might seem harsh but he's right. Being 'white' is no fucking excuse to not join a club.

[–]LordFlakkko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So the group that makes up the majority in america is now so oppressed? Geez if you wernt born with everything handed to you i bet you wold have committed suicide

[–]Killionaire2k4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's literally told you what's going on and you're questioning it. This is a matter of you realizing it.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start working at a local bar or restaurant.

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

wow this

it seems like you had to go through some shit(hell) to make this out

[–]11-Eleven-112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What did he say? He deleted it.

[–]Monitorul9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Had to break it off with a romantic partner because she rejected my affections.

How was she your romantic partner if she rejected your affections? What are you talking about?

[–]Hungboy69694204 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha that made me laugh too. Sounds very BP or incel

[–]hoopingblob6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't think you're socially advanced ir at least it didn't sound like you are but let's assume you are and it's still the same problem:

Well, some people are just meant to be alone. Something I learned throughout my life when I tried everything to be a part of a social circle and got rejected all the time.

I realized that there was nothing I could do and accepted my fate as a lone being but it gave me time to focus on myself and become the best I could get out of me (still improving). It helped me cope with my loneliness because I had a goal (or several in the matter of fact).

It ain't so bad being alone because I still talk to people in a normal basis I just don't try to bond with them anymore.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]hoopingblob7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope I have like 4 different hobbies 😂. It's fun! I play the guitar, go to the gym, learn languages, pick locks, collect knives and I run in the woods before I meditate. It's pretty cool and I have myself together. All those things while I also work as a bus driver.

[–]baeslick5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay, I’m going to base this off the fact that I 1) quickly skimmed through your post and 2) someone just idiotically recommended you to watch “Scarface”. Sir, you have infinite value as a human being. Don’t let anybody tell you you don’t. Second, EDIT: scrolling back up to finish reading your post—you have to take care of yourself. Stop looking for validation from other people and recognize that you are a luminous fucking being, not some crude matter.

I’m serious. What you don’t see in yourself reflects outward, and someone who doesn’t recognize their own value will not be reciprocated upon, ESPECIALLY in college. Listen, do yourself a favor and take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

You’re going to be okay.

One thing I will say is, don’t let TRP tell you what to do, there’s a lot of fake alphas and egoistic lifters on these threads that tout “mEn’S rIgHts, MeN’s RiGhTs!” As men we have the ultimate freedom to do and be whatever we want, and we have the tools to do it. But people just complain, don’t become one of those. Humility and gratitude go a long way my friend, and before you start to complain that nobody is recognizing your value as a human being, maybe you should take a look in the mirror and see why you went to drugs in the first place for a sense of self-worth.

I’ve been there, man. Mental health is still largely misunderstood in the US, I don’t know where you’re from, but most people don’t understand it. Take yourself aside and become your own best friend, learn to listen to your conscience. Oh yeah, and stay in school, get that degree, and make it fucking rain. If you ever need someone to talk to you, my doors are open. Peace

EDIT 2: I would also like to add that you need to surround yourself with people you can trust. Family, friends, your school counselors, anyone. Find who has your best interest in mind and bounce ideas off of them, that’s what they’re there for. Don’t listen to this lone wolf nonsense, “Every man for himself!” No. If the world worked that way we’d all be dead, human beings are social creatures. Focus on two things: who you are, and what you want to do. Then you’ll know where you’re headed, and people will follow. And yes, that includes the women, but also focus less on getting attention and prioritize “paying” attention, you’ll cover A LOT more ground that way. Start with “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius, there’s some indispensable insights there

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a well adjusted, funny guy. I'm over 6 foot tall, fit, white, and I have a jawline. It's not like I'm new to any of this social shit either.

None of that shit matters.

Confidence is king, and King Confidence rules alone. You need to be able to talk to girls with the appearance of ease and self-assurance before your looks or status or even social skills will help you in the slightest.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is all about women. What is your social life like with guys?

[–]Sylvester_Sterone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of this is coming from your mindset. Read up about growth mindsets and start putting in the reps.

[–]frognads1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude you just described me to a T.

All I can say is that if you know this degree will take you where you want to go when it's finished, stick that shit out. The few years it takes to finish will pass quickly. The last thing you want is to be stuck working some shitty job in two years when all your classmates are graduating, been there.

Still keep trying to be social and learn from your experience, the uncomfortable truth is that we're fucking up one way or another if we keep getting the same bad results. For me personally I tend to run my mouth constantly in social situations and focusing on toning it down has helped a lot.

Learn to enjoy your solitude as well. Do shit like hiking on your own. Also consider taking some sort of class, dancing, martial arts, whatever. Just anything to break up the monotony.

As for a role model, when it comes to not giving a fuck mine is Patrice Oneal if that helps.

[–]Funkydirigidoo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a well adjusted, funny guy. I'm over 6 foot tall, fit, white, and I have a jawline. It's not like I'm new to any of this social shit either.

Wow, how about ditching the entitlement and trying some humility? Maybe that's the issue?

I'm really struggling with my whole world telling me I'm worthless this extensively.

The world is usually right. You know the old saying, "when everyone you know is an asshole, the asshole is probably you."

[–]ErectileDistention0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get on a sports team.

[–]DJVendetta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know the feeling. You keep bettering yourself and people still treat you like scum.

You have to keep going. Worthwhile relationships will come, just focus on your mission

[–]jonnyjuk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One thing I found that helped to make friends in college was to join a society. Find a society that you are genuinely interested in and friends will come naturally by way of mutual interests.

[–]cydestiny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First, stop being delusional, the world didn't tell you anything, you are telling yourself that the world rejects you.

Second, you know nothing about suffering, you put yourself in this on your own predicament.

Third, stop using social media and internet, they have bad influence. You're all stressed out because you think that an average Joe should live a life full of friends, woman and everything else the media and pop culture is telling you. The truth is NO.

Fourth, TRP is not a self-help motivation bullshit, get your mind straighten up and work towards thing you want in life and stop asking for shortcuts/instant gratification. And make sure is what you really want not some random shit that everyone wants.

[–]QawL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you can't find any friends problem is you.

If you can find some friends that's good. It's impossible to get along with everyone, sometimes their energy won't match with yours.

If you're friends with everyone, problem is you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just make sure to never fall in love. You will be fine😎

[–]Monitorul0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

a male role model like trp offer me

No offense to this sub but asktrp isn't a male role model. Anyone can post here. It's more like the blind leading the blind.

[–]Gaidsbola0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because you are. Read the side bar.

[–]MSotallyTober0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give your life a purpose... whatever that may be. I travel for a living and for years before I put in my time, I’d be in a different place for the holidays whether it was Christmas or Thanksgiving away from friends and family. I started finding local soup kitchens to help out in on these days. It humbled me more than you could know. The problems I’d had were shit compared to those I was serving meals to; a majority of them got up in the morning despite their struggles and they pushed forward and did what they could.

Life isn’t easy, it takes effort... sometimes away from thinking you’re the problem.

[–]BusyHearing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> I know im not worthless..

Forgive my skepticism, but how do you know this— is it not the very thing at stake here?

[–]Per_Horses60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro we all get rejected I use to feel like I was in ur shoes too, but you gotta self reflect snd write down what u want in this life bro. Rejection hurts, but it’s needed.

[–]-Cosmo_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take the time to really figure out where you want to go from this position. After that get to grinding. Hit the gym and do semen retention.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of people at this period in man's life feel that way because you're at the bottom of the barrel. Older men have had the chance to build knowledge and resource.

Accept where you are so you can move forward. It's not your fault unless you stay this way forever, abandon the guilt. Focus on building yourself some things you can use. You're not worthless just because you don't have everything figured out right now. You're worthless because almost every man your age is at this point.

[–]mabev435680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did you read the book No more mr nice guy?

Do you have a religious education?

We do not have enough information to tell you what can you fix in yourself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Self awareness, you lack it. Severely.

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s time for monk mode, hit the gym and hit the library. Eat clean. No porn. Get your mind and body healthy. You know the drill.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back. ~ Henry Rollins

[–]BigBlueWookiee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First things, first.

You need to figure out how to get over this need of finding validation for yourself in others. STOP IT!

They haven't walked a step, let alone a mile in your shoes, they have no right to judge you. Yet, you are giving them power by allowing their view to effect your life. Fuck that.

The only person whose judgement matters is your own. You are the only one that earned where you are in life, for better or worse. Therefore you are also the only one that can chose where you go from here, and what you allow to motivate you.

If you chose to let outside judgement be the main motivating factor in your life, then that's on you. I sincerely hope that isn't the course you decide; but then, it IS your decision.

[–]LordFlakkko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another gifted privlaged white male who thinks he has it hard. Try being under 6 foot (younger brother is taller than me) and light skinned. Then you can complain

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a 40 year old I can tell you that I was in a similar stage at that time of life.

Honestly college was the toughest years for me.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think your expecting something unrealistic you have an idea about how interactions are supposed to go and if they don’t go that way you feel like you failed. Don’t expect anything really just be natural say what comes to Mind and be friendly. You know how you react if there’s like someone you view very highly of? You treat them almost like they don’t exist because you don’t want them to know you value them and they intimidate you. Just be nice and try to Make people feel comfortable

[–]StrayFromThePathx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“I’m attractive, confident, funny, and smart but nobody likes me😪” You’re delusional

[–]Vhascome-to0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t decide your own worth, other people do

[–]jchrist980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No fap, lift, get a hobby, and stop being a bitch.

[–]sebastianconcept-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need meaning.

TRP is part of it.

You’ll find it if you seek it.

I’d recommend The Maps of Meaning series from Jordan Peterson

[–]FightForYourWay-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you’re getting treated like you’re worthless it’s because you’re perceived as worthless.

[–]lazydogg9-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Join some sort of club or something where you learn stuff with other people.

Like BJJ or toastmasters. Here you'll have regular contact with other humans and develop a sense of brotherhood community.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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