Its often said that if a women shows disinterest/is unavailable the best tactic is to withdraw attention. Is that completely unattractive?

wtknight · 2019-11-30T00:18:28+00:00

Often times, if you keep that up you'll find she becomes single a year later and shows high interest again. Or she comes back around to you.

This seems too much like “dance, monkey, dance” for my tastes. If she shows lack of interest I’m dropping her because there are lots of other women out there who are willing to show that interest. I don’t have the time or energy to show interest in a woman who doesn’t show interest in me.

NockerJoe · 2019-11-29T23:40:22+00:00

Let me put it this way:

I went on a couple of dates with this girl in college. She blew me off once and left me waiting for her while she did other stuff. She apologized profusely before I even got home, but in this way that made it clear she thought her life was glamorous and exciting and I was an afterthought in it. So I never went out with her again because I have my own dignity. We connected on social media but I wound up unfollowing her because she plays that self absorbed woman's game of not responding for days or weeks at a time. She still messages me though because even when she wants to talk about me it's at her convenience, and weather I'm actually part of the conversation seems irrelevant.

Yeah, if you hang around for a while you can get the girl. I've done it. But it's a dehumanizing, undignified thing to be the one waiting around and making your schedule and priorities essentially worthless. Even just shooting an occasional text and getting sparse responses until the switch flips again isn't exactly the best feeling. Doing it for a year sucks, is basically never worth it, and it won't make you happy at the end of it. Again, I've done it, and say don't do it. Stick to porn, it doesn't play games.

It's not about what's best for your sex life, it's about what's best for your life. I don't feel as bad pulling that game as when I was a lovesick orbiter. I do however still feel bad. Because you're putting in way more work and showing way more interest and doing all this shit and not getting nearly enough as a ROI.

pongaminbloom · 2019-11-30T00:21:20+00:00

Forget about tactics. If the other person shows disinterest, just move on.

Why get your hopes up when they are giving you no reason to? You will either get rejected or they will use you as backup.

Mystery_Tragic · 2019-11-30T02:25:12+00:00

If a woman shows disinterest or is unavaliable I'm going to move on because it is clear she is not attracted to me. And more importantly, her doing that will make me lose attraction to her.

3gm22 · 2019-11-29T23:45:31+00:00

Attention can come off as desperation for social acceptance. That desperation does not signal strong character, and as such, turns the taps off. Genuine conversation and subtle interest are the way to go, that way, your object of affection is not suffocated with extreme social and emotional signals. Just be your genuine self. Work on being confident with what you have, and know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Honesty with yourself, and confidence in who you are will get you much further. That honesty will also allow you to attract those who appreciate your strengths, making it easier to overlook those weaknesses.

Just like you should "next" the ones with red flags, they will also next you, if you appear a broken and socially inept person. It is all part of the sexual strategy and game. They qualify you, and you qualify them, just in different ways.

MikepGrey · 2019-11-30T01:16:31+00:00

if she is not interested and you still chase her, all it says is "I am a desperate loser who can't function in society, I will give you money to just let me be near you and you can use me, walk all over me, and never have sex or be nice to me"

And thats all she wrote

If they are not into you, move on, only 4 billion women left to try. (the numbers are in your favor if you just keep trying)

gunbusterxl · 2019-11-30T03:37:31+00:00

If she shows disinterest then just move on with your life. That's it.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-11-30T00:58:03+00:00

Men shouldn’t “next” anyone. They should talk to as many women as possible and see what happens.

Male sexuality is a net with holes in it you have to repair.

There is no one tuna you have to catch. Just build a good net and catch some tuna.

decoy88 · 2019-11-30T01:31:38+00:00

First of all, there are two reasons to withdraw attention:

You genuinely lost interest
You want to ignite/reignite interest

If you do it for reason nr 1, then it makes sense to completely withdraw all attention, and if she sees that as "sulking", it doesn't really matter what she thinks anyways. Cause, you know, you're not interested.

If you do it for reason nr 2, then there's more nuance to it. Sulking or any form covert expression of resentment will come off as overly emotional weak-mindedness, and it won't help your case. On the contrary, it's going to be a huge turn-off. Cause like you say, it's basically an uncharismatic approach.

The reason it makes sense for your approach to work (OP) - "giving everyone attention" - is twofold; Firstly, it's a more level-headed variation of 'withdrawing attention' as in: She's no longer your primary focus of attention. But relatively speaking, you're still withdrawing attention. Secondly, there's an element of 'dread' to what you do, a demonstration that you're "putting yourself out there" -> competition anxiety.

As with most things red pill, 'withdrawing attention' is not to be taken literally and/or applied in an uncharismatic fashion (if the aim is to ignite/reignite interest).

AntifaSuperSwoledier · 2019-11-30T14:08:22+00:00

Pretty good example of TRP emulating successful/good behavior. If a woman isn't interested just move on. Take the hint and/or have other options. It's not a tactic or a strategy. It's just what you do. It's sort of creepy and inauthentic otherwise to do what - just hang around as a "friend" with the side intention of romance one day?

Often times, if you keep that up you'll find she becomes single a year later and shows high interest again. Or she comes back around to you.

This happens anyway? I get random texts from from people I stopped talking to months or even a year ago. Even after ignoring them and continuing to. If someone has decided to be interested, have time, are single now, etc. they'll go out of their way to seek you out.

AttractiveBastard · 2019-11-30T01:58:50+00:00

It’s a balance.

Giving a woman constant attention is a bad idea. If you’re far more invested in her than she is in you, she’ll find you unattractive.

Purposefully withholding attention is a bad idea. Sometimes, it works, but it is manipulative. If a woman finds out you’re playing games, she’ll drop you (unless she’s crazy). If you have to play games with women, you’re not attractive.

There are many ways to strike a balance; you’ve described one of them. Always be high energy; always be charismatic. Don’t give a fuck if a woman is not interested; don’t waste your time thinking “Does she like me?”. If you have a great life, women will notice and be attracted to you.

ino_y · 2019-11-30T11:20:47+00:00

If I'm disinterested in a guy, I would hope he stops contacting me. If he 'withdraws attention' as a tactic to make me chase, it won't work, I'm not anxious/pre-occupied.

This might work on women with an anxious attachment style.

It will just make a secure woman lose interest, aloof men are not exciting. They weed themselves out.

G77R23D · 2019-11-30T13:53:04+00:00

Is the pussy really that important to you? Have some self respect. Who cares if it doesnt happen. She obviously doesnt like you if she's pulling away so let her go and get someone better.

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Zippo-Cat · 2019-11-30T06:53:41+00:00

Often times, if you keep that up you'll find she becomes single a year later and shows high interest again.

Makes you wonder how far down her list were you. The second pick? Third? Seventh?

2019-11-30T07:39:10+00:00

Honestly... It depends. If i know your intention is to hang around and wait until im single and "come back around" then i will be even less interested in you. That's weak and weird behavior i dont want in a man. Basically all men who would do that though give it away that thats why they hang around. Just by questions, body language, and theyre more needy than other men.

But if a guy is like "meh nothing now but whatever. We can live our own lives and just see where we go." That's fine. Because thats allowing a future where we are anything from strangers to married instead of assuming we will have a chance together.

rus9384 · 2019-11-30T08:04:03+00:00

It looks like a lottery game. She might become available and might not.

I would not totally "next" genuinely interesting women (they can be good friends anyway), but if she is not interesting, what is the point of putting too much effort (e.g. talking about things you don't like)?

87AudreyHorne · 2019-11-30T08:39:34+00:00

Yeah I never experienced liking someone more after he withdrew. I would never contact him first. This isnt an advice and cant be applied generally but persistency from men I did like would work because a)I did like them b)their persistency made me trust them and the intensity of their interest so I got comfortable to show some affection back.

Having said that, if the guy is not comfortable with this then of course he should withdraw. But I am interpreting it also to mean he isnt that madly in love

DubsPackage · 2019-11-30T12:55:39+00:00

Soft Next.

Meaning "I'm not gonna spend energy thinking about her, but if we hook up at some future time, then we'll see where that goes."

My life also improved when I realized that sometimes your best life has to come at the expense of your sex life.

Would I get more sex if I dance around like a monkey?

Sure.

Is that better for my overall life and well-being?

Nope.

My life is more important than my sex life.

Preaddly · 2019-11-30T16:45:03+00:00

I would resent a man that didn't think enough of me to take me at my word. I said no. Trying to convince and "orbit" me is him thinking that he doesn't have to listen to me. That he can still get whatever he wants by wearing me down. No, to hell with him.

mabev43568 · 2019-11-30T18:49:01+00:00

Girls don't approach men. If you never had sex with her, ignoring her will do nothing. Another dude will approach.

2019-11-30T23:08:10+00:00

If a woman shows disinterest, assume she is disinterested in you and treat her as such.

Title	Its often said that if a women shows disinterest/is unavailable the best tactic is to withdraw attention. Is that completely unattractive?
Author	Dsfaosf98
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	November 29, 2019 11:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e3mzgx/its_often_said_that_if_a_women_shows/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/its-often-said-that-if-a-women-shows-disinterestis.297138 https://theredarchive.com/post/297138

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