Is male confidence necessarily linked to their sexual success?

SerpentCypher · 2020-02-09T16:05:21+00:00

Absolutely. Do you think confidence just happens in a vacuum?

You become confident in anything through regular successes. It is developed through positive affirmations and results.

A man who approaches 100 women and is rebuffed 100 times is not going to be confident in his ability to approach women afterwards. If he was we would call him delusional.

If you're already attractive and every time you approach/talk to a woman, it is met with enthusiam and positive reactions, you're going to be more confident in talking to women. Which in turn is going to make you even more attractive and begets even greater success.

barbodelli · 2020-02-09T17:30:04+00:00

I'm not a big proponent of the whole "Just be confident" crap. I actually think being physically attractive is a better predictor of sexual success than your social skills. BUT HAVING SAID THAT. Having social skills will definitely improve a person's position no matter where they are. If they are in a position where they severely lack them.

Think about it this way. Picture a 10/10 Chad. Most women find him very sexually attractive. But he is fucking shy as shit. Even when women show him interest he cowers. His cowardice looks as disinterest. So what are his options? Women who are very persistent and are not afraid to approach. That kills a huge portion of the pool for him. Good looking women are far likely to be persistent and have enough of their own "confidence" to not fear rejection. If that guy finds a way to feel better about himself. He can improve his selection pool tremendously.

The same thing applies to normies. If a normie sits at home and has no friends. Chances are he has 0 options. Women don't really approach him. When they do they are ugly. He can stand to benefit from being a more social creature as well.

Ugly guys........ I honestly don't know. I suspect that they benefit from social skills as well.

So its not that "looks don't matter". Looks define your ceiling. But you are not going to reach your ceiling without being social.

reluctantly_red · 2020-02-09T15:35:33+00:00

Sexual success is linked to male confidence.

It's not about trying to get to know women or whatever, it's about differentiating yourself from the crowd, it's about offering something that is not readily available. You can get to know the woman as you date her.

A lot of it is about luck too and good timing. That's why it's also a numbers game. You might meet the right person but at the wrong time or vice versa.

Women get dozens of messages a day, and they are all from safe, benign men who have no claws. They are nice people but they cannot offer any excitement

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-02-09T16:32:54+00:00

Feeling important or desired is raising your confidence, because you are something someone else wants.

If you are an expert in one field and having boss confirming you that through paycheck raise and giving you better position in a firm, you get sense of being important and desired.

Same goes with interaction with women. If women are warm towards you, you dont have problem getting a girlfriend, you think "I am the shit" and it will give you huge confidence boost.

2020-02-09T17:00:43+00:00

A) plenty of unattractive men catcall women B) plenty of unattractive men would message women only to hookup without even trying to get to know her

These may be low inhibition behaviors but they're not confident behaviors. Very low ego investment for catcalling, and relatively low ego investment for messaging on the internet.

InertBrian · 2020-02-10T05:35:56+00:00

[deleted]

2020-02-09T16:16:58+00:00

Yes it is. (Mostly)

Of course there are exceptions. For example a religious man might be confident while still being a virgin because his confidence comes from other place.

From my observation the sooner a guy lost his virginity, the more confident he was. And guys who are confident with women are also confident in other areas of their lives.

This is also the primary reason why men are trying to learn PUA. Primary goal is not picking up women. Primary goal is to develop mental strength and confidence through picking up women. Being able to pick up women is still important of course.

A) plenty of unattractive men catcall women

Attractive men might be more confident on average, but it's not a rule. There are plenty of attractive incels with social anxiety, and there are plenty of ugly men who are confident. These men who catcall women are usually successful with women OR were susccessful with women when they were young and they think they still got it.

B) plenty of unattractive men would message women only to hookup without even trying to get to know her

This has nothing to do with confidence.

Bntt89 · 2020-02-09T20:19:43+00:00

Confidence is so important for women, they would rather go with a confident idiot than an unsure genius.

Daffan · 2020-02-09T20:26:15+00:00

Of course.

Look at the following scenario;

Young children who are conventionally attractive have more friends in school and are overall happier, therefore their confidence is sky high. No bullies, no cold teachers, lots of friends/parties/events and opposite sex attraction = Confidence sky high.

femmefatale2323 · 2020-02-09T20:52:53+00:00

Being ugly for some men makes them realize they have to be aggressive to be able to get a girl. It's not really confidence it's just being proactive.

762Rifleman · 2020-02-09T23:03:39+00:00

Male confidence tends to come from sexual success, not be the cause.

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DangZagnut · 2020-02-09T16:35:23+00:00

Confidence has nothing to do with sex. It can, but that’s it.

It’s like say financial success involves working at Walmart. That’s two distinctly separate things.

Confidence is built via success, but that has nothing to do with sex.

Gackt · 2020-02-09T16:43:06+00:00

[deleted]

Newbhero · 2020-02-09T17:33:52+00:00

I'd say yes it most certainly is, but also that when thinking of confidence that most people generally have the incorrect interpretation of it.

2020-02-09T19:14:54+00:00

Theres a misunderstanding going on. Some people have high neuroticism and can only become “confident” (it isnt even really confidence, just being in the comfort zone) after repeated successes. Others are extremely narcissistic and are neurological incapable of self doubt or self recrimination even when they have zero information or experience to go off of.

The former group tends to universalize their experience and think that no one can be confident prior to achieving success which just isnt true.

OpdatUweKutSchimmele · 2020-02-09T19:59:37+00:00

Confidence, "confidence" or """confidence"""?

There are three definitions of this word in common usage:

the historical definition; it just means how certain one is of something; that doesn't mean certain of a favourable outcome: one can be confident that one is ugly.
then there's definition which is better called "high self esteem" where one is confident in one's favourable qualities
and then how it's typically used in the all this dating advice, which is better called "act suave and be a smooth talker" which has little to do with the former two.

Few things are considered more creepy than one who is confident^2, but also ugly, and not a smooth talker as well—it looks like this.

skunkbear444 · 2020-02-09T20:21:20+00:00

Confidence with dealing with women one on one in a seduction context is yes, directly linked. A conventionally unattractive guy that is not confident in his life, could be very very confident in his abilities to bang women from practice.

Many people think being confident at being funny, confident at talking to people at a party, being good at a hobby, confident in their future, confident in how interesting they are... this can be, but to a much less degree.

There is a certain confidence that is very specific to giving the girl the hello hug on date 1, or approaching her for the first time to having sex with her.

I think there are plenty of men that would see themselves as confident in life in general that wouldn't know all the right buttons to push to get laid.

I wouldn't say I am very confident person in day to day life. With a woman in a seduction context I am though.

Vulture051 · 2020-02-09T20:42:17+00:00

There is a such thing as false confidence. That guy catcalling you on the street (assuming it really is a catcall and not a just compliment) isn't confident, he's just a pig.

eboy4hire · 2020-02-09T21:46:09+00:00

No, inhibition is more like a muscle. I agree with you and disagree with you. I don't think you can grind your way to sexual success. All the things that are essential to it, you're born with. However, you can develop giant balls.

Think about when you take a shower in the morning. You probably take warm showers most of the time yes? Imagine if you were to turn the water to entirely cold. Actually do it, and feel the hesitation to jump in. There's something within you that you can exercise to overcome that feeling of hesitation. Jumping in a cold shower is a good analogy to it that I'd recommend trying. It's not even that you need to take cold showers all the time, but take them enough to where you see how it can translate to throwing your balls into the ring with a girl. The hesitation to jump in a cold shower is really similar to the hesitation you have to overcome to walk up to that girl you like.

I haven't had much success in actually seducing women, but I can talk to any woman I want, no problem. Only once has it ever got me sex. All the other times I've had sex have been with fat women from Tinder. You just have to see how effective cold approaching is for you.

Edit: Oh, just realized you're not a man, but still, that's how you overcome inhibition.

cuckspace · 2020-02-10T01:26:43+00:00

Seems like there is plenty of unattractive stupid men in the world. They're too stupid to self-reflect, to see how unattractive they are, to know how stupid they are and to shut their mouth when they should. Confidence is overrated and often just ignorance or arrogance in disguise. And women fall for it because "confidence is sexy". What a load of crap.

sadomasochrist · 2020-02-10T04:29:24+00:00

Truth : Yes

Everyone who denies this : Reeeeeeee

Andress1 · 2020-02-10T13:30:41+00:00

I think it's definitely linked and necessary, but it's also extremely overrated how much having confidence helps you with women. If you have average or above average confidence that's already 80-90% of the SMV you can get from being confident.

Being more confident after that yields very little result in your atractiveness.

Lilylolo88 · 2020-02-10T13:55:16+00:00

Confidence is the most attractive quality in both men and women. No one notices the nervous person sitting in the corner not putting themselves out there.

Title	Is male confidence necessarily linked to their sexual success?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	5
Comments	92
Date	February 9, 2020 3:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f19tqx/is_male_confidence_necessarily_linked_to_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-male-confidence-necessarily-linked-to-their.331505 https://theredarchive.com/post/331505

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