The trope that married men are more successful is ridiculous and even dangerous

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-28T14:50:45+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

Thinkingard · 2020-12-28T13:14:05+00:00

Marriage (with kids) creates self-improvement opportunities in similar ways as getting a physical job affects your weight.

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-12-28T12:53:28+00:00

I think they're basing this on observation.

Break ups hit men REALLY hard. And before you say 'divorce rape' I'm not just talking about marriages, I'm talking about men with LTRs where it broke down. Most men I know who experience real ups kit the bottle and experience severe depression. Women seem to cope much better, on aggregate.

If you look at studies men are much more likely to get remarried after a break up, and they marry much sooner after a divorce than women do.

Alberic2092 · 2020-12-28T13:33:41+00:00

>However the fact that married men are successful is but a mere coincidence, and not the cause of the success.

Are you familiar with the principle of Occam's Razor by any chance?

Plopolok · 2020-12-28T13:15:56+00:00

Marriage and wives in and of themselves have little to no effect on earnings.

Maybe not "in and of themselves" but they might still have. The most obvious point is that the couple pays only one rent for two. Similarly, there are domestic economies of scale (cooking for two doesn't take twice as much time as cooking for one). There's also all the time and energy that you would spend dating or trying to. And the most generally accepted point is that a married man will be more happy, more productive, more ambitious. I think that point is mostly valid.

Of course, with children the whole picture is different. The most successful people are probably the gays in stable relationships. (I remember reading that in some animal species, male homosexual couples tend to become particularly successful, which leads to them being heavily courted by the females).

retal1ator · 2020-12-28T13:33:41+00:00

You're only halfway there. Yes, I think the bias you're describing exists but I would argue there are several others, most notably that for which married men earn more because they work more, because their wives requires them to do so.

In other words, married men seem more successful because they have to be successful, due to having to support a family. Some people might see that as a positive overall, but its hardly so if you consider the great picture. I know single men who earn less than married men, but they enjoy life more than married men. They work less because they want to pursue other things in life, meanwhile married men have no choice in deciding how much they wanna work: providing is their primary objective in life.

AriOccasionalContext · 2020-12-28T13:44:51+00:00

Money is a function of intelligence, hard work and time.

False. Lots of smart people are poor. Lots of hard working people are poor. Lots of people remain poor over time. And all three of these simultaneously only put you in the realm of the possibility of success.

The sort of person who shares these views likely also thinks that finding another person is a function of intelligence, hard work, time, and possibly money ("resources)", and similarly cannot understand why they aren't getting ahead in the dating game.

Married men are in the majority of men in charge. I can't tell you why. But your senior manager is going to wonder why you're a socially ostracized incel while all his other SVP's are on child #3.

mechanical_elves · 2020-12-28T11:44:25+00:00

Depends how you're measuring success. Marriage does end up putting more pressure on men to perform financially, so if you measure success by raw financial performance, they're right. A workhorse husband who makes $250k per year and spends 1/4 of that on himself is more successful than the backelor making $80k all to himself.

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-12-28T11:57:05+00:00

There is this idea that married men are more successful,

Successful men are more likely to get married because they have their life more together and they have a spouse to help them out in life. No one said marriage automatically makes you successful.

However the fact that married men are successful is but a mere coincidence, and not the cause of the success.

No one said otherwise.

Give a dumb, lazy, young man a wife and his income will not rise.

Yes, we tell men this but they're too busy masturbating to listen.

In fact this reasoning is dangerous because thinking that marriage and kids serve as some kind of magic inspiration for self-improvement is one of the leading causes of stupid mating decisions around the world.

Most sane people don't think like this. I don't understand the purpose of this CMV because only dumbasses think "DURRRR! I'M MARRIED SO THAT MEAN SUCCESS!"

2020-12-28T11:33:29+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-28T12:05:36+00:00

[removed]

lightfire409 · 2020-12-28T13:52:05+00:00

You must be a young man, because having the right girl by your side fuels you with the drive to succeed, for her.

Men will move the world to protect and care for the woman they love.

Mustbeaight · 2020-12-28T14:05:58+00:00

Unfortunately it is true...most of the successful millionaires and billionaires are all married or in some sort of LTR about to propose.. and tbh it’s because married men are generally more respected in society and are deemed more “stable” or even more “mentally stable”..there’s even an unspoken rule in corporations that if you are up for promotion against a married man for the same job, unless you totally blow him out the water with performance..the married guy will be picked everytime... because he is more “stable” and less likely to quit because he needs the job more than you to feed his family.he has more reasons to not leave...it’s an unspoken corporate rule..it’s no wonder that once you get to the big executive positions in corporations..all of the men up there are married..you ain’t getting there without... and generally married men get more respect in society.. I think it’s because unmarried men of a certain age are regarded as weird(women had this pressure to and some still have) and it’s like there’s a subconscious “incel” button that switches on in people’s head who then look at an unmarried man like a “weirdo who can’t get a woman so something must be wrong with him” ... nobody says it but it’s what that is...

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-12-28T14:10:46+00:00

Correlation is not causation.

Successful men get married and have kids.

Notsonewguy7 · 2020-12-28T14:11:47+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

helloimderek · 2020-12-28T14:16:36+00:00

Marriage isn't beneficial to a man anyways. It is possible to have relationships without ever getting married. Marriage bonds a man to a single person where his value a partner can grow, typically meaning his success and finances, whereas in a heterosexual marriage the females value diminishes, meaning youth and child rearing capability. Marriage kinda screws men in the long run.

801735 · 2020-12-28T14:26:44+00:00

There is this idea that married men are more successful

successful

Let's assume my grand-value is the freedom to abruptly change my mind and go with the unplanned uncommunicated option which nullifies all by then set up plans - let's call it spontaneity...

Give a dumb, lazy, young man a wife and his income will not rise.

"OMG! He's sooooo like totally not ultra HVM 0.2%er enough for all this (points at self) queenness which doubles as a piece of furniture. And has 3 followers on OF, but coincidentally and soooo totally not-related happens to have 2 siblings in a single mother 'house''hold' (it's a rent paid by soc services flat). Why can't you just get it?"

In fact this reasoning is dangerous because thinking that marriage and kids serve as some kind of magic inspiration for self-improvement is one of the leading causes of stupid mating decisions around the world.

The idea is not wrong, but I disagree with the notion implied there are any decisions done in "stupid mating" in the 1st place. Pretty sure in many cases "it just happened". "Mary didn't get pregnant, she just gave birth, you see." "But, uuuh,... how di" "SHUT UP! She. JUST. Gave birth."

welcometothejl · 2020-12-28T14:59:53+00:00

Not to mention, marriage credit for success justifies high divorce and child support payments.

passepar2t · 2020-12-28T11:07:49+00:00

Successful men are expected to marry. Unless you're some kind of eccentric artist, there's a hard cap on your status for a bachelor.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-28T11:16:24+00:00

[removed]

pagan_girl · 2020-12-28T13:12:10+00:00

Married men are not automatically more successful, but bachelors are definitely less successful if for their entire life they have not found a spouse or a long term partner. Not being able to maintain a long term relationship definitely is not something to be proud of and is a red flag for most women who are looking to start a LTR.

cunningcaring · 2020-12-28T12:21:54+00:00

Dangerous? No. A fact? Yes. Does marriage make a man more successful. Maybe, because a wife is good person to bounce ideas off of. Having a family makes a man more responsible. For example, I did not much worry about nuclear bombs or wars or climate change until I had kids; suddenly the future was much more important.

You are pushing your opinion with no evidence to support it.

Title	The trope that married men are more successful is ridiculous and even dangerous
Author	majani
Upvotes	21
Comments	74
Date	December 28, 2020 10:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/klodco/the_trope_that_married_men_are_more_successful_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-trope-that-married-men-are-more-successful-is.354660 https://theredarchive.com/post/354660

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