Statistics on lesbian relationships prove that women are the problem more often than we'd like to admit

wtknight · 2023-10-17T11:08:55+00:00

Re-flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

Turbulent-Place-6723 · 2023-10-17T08:05:02+00:00

As a lesbian who’s against most of the redpill I actually agree with this lol, and no-one really has a decent argument against it.

General_High_Ground · 2023-10-17T07:55:48+00:00

*grabs popcorn*

This is where the fun begins.

Makuta_Servaela · 2023-10-17T16:48:09+00:00

A comment on the partner violence one: that is a misunderstood quote.

The study that quote is from says "women who co-habitate intimately are often victims of abuse". It does not say that they were abused by their female partner. Even if you look at the study cited, it makes it clear that most sexual abusers of lesbians, in the 80%, are men.

This is the study, ironically the one the Wikipedia article incorrectly quotes

The studies found that of victims of domestic abuse, for every group except lesbians, the chance their abuser was the sex they were more likely to be dating is in the 85%-99% range. (For bisexuals and heterosexuals, the opposite sex, and for gay men, other men). A lesbian victim of domestic abuse is 65% likely to have had a female partner perpetrator.

So it's not that lesbians are abusing each other, it's that abused women tend to stop dating and living with men, and that lesbians are particularly vulnerable to male domestic and sexual abuse (keep in mind that gay people often date the opposite sex out of closeting or confusion).

Edit: I see a LOT of people jumped on that. I'm so happy that ridiculous myth is finally getting stamped out.

G0dZylla · 2023-10-17T13:24:43+00:00

Consider this and now Also consider that most divorces in heterosexual marriages are initiated by women, It all makes sense

LocalTsunamiCat · 2023-10-17T07:57:36+00:00

Lesbians do have higher divorce rates and victimisation DV rates. When we look at the gender of abusers 1/3 of lesbian victims had at least one male abuser, leaving lower percent of women suffering purely from abuse from other women.

The CDC has stated that 43.8% of lesbian women reported experiencing physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners. The study notes that, out of those 43.8%, two thirds (67.4%) reported exclusively female perpetrators. The other third reported at least one perpetrator being male, however the study made no distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators. Similarly, 61.1% of bisexual women reported physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners in the same study with 89.5% reporting at least one perpetrator being male. In contrast, 35% of heterosexual women reported having been victim of intimate partner violence, with 98.7% of them reporting male perpetrators exclusively.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_in_lesbian_relationships

Gay men, on the other hand, have much higher cheating stats. I'll link stats a bit later if you're curious. So gay men are more lenient with cheating while lesbians are more trigger happy with divorces. Not sure which variant I like more tbh. I'd prefer to break up over being cheated on.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-10-17T12:28:22+00:00

About a third of gay men are non-monogamous/in open relationships.

https://www.them.us/story/30-percent-gay-men-open-relationships-new-study

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5958351/#:~:text=When%20analyzing%20the%20whole%20sample,heterosexual%20participants%2C%2014%25%20of%20gay

Only about 5% of lesbian couples are open/non-monogamous. The bottom line is gay men are much more likely to forgive infidelity or have an open policy from the beginning than either lesbians or heterosexual couples.

The conservative/TRP guys that are so worried about divorce and body count/pair bonding should take note of this.

There’s an old quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards.”

I’ve posted this on other threads before, but I proposed an open marriage after catching my husband cheating for the third time. Since then our relationship is much better.

TLDR: the higher your tolerance to put up with shit during the marriage, the longer your marriage will last.

wwwArchitect · 2023-10-17T12:41:49+00:00

Some confounding variables:

1) lesbians are far more likely to have “masculine traits” than the average heterosexual woman, this includes disagreeableness and domestic violence.

2) lesbians are far more likely to get married in the first place, more easily and more quickly with less vetting, almost on impulse. This will result in more cases of incompatibility.

3) Gay men are less likely to get married than straight men, and if they do get married, it’s after many years of vetting and ensuring compatibility. Gay men are far more likely to have feminine traits than the average heterosexual male.

So women are still the “problem,” but for different reasons than you might think.

The “marriage pushing” in the first place might be sociocultural, and we should encourage more vetting and diligence in choosing a partner for women in general.

GoodMongolianWorm · 2023-10-17T06:28:55+00:00

It's not that woman are problem, it's that they are less forgiving then man for same negative behavior in relationship

Zabadoodude · 2023-10-17T07:11:51+00:00

Thats interesting, but straight relationships and gay relationships aren't perfect comparisons, because gay people have their own patterns of behavior and subculture norms.

There is a tendency to coddle and "Yaas queen" women in the mainstream and tell them how awesome they are and how it's all the men's fault. Recently, though, there has been no shortage of men talking about how women are always the problem and men are never to blame. Obviously, the truth lies somewherein the middle.

draggin_balls · 2023-10-17T11:07:29+00:00

In terms of divorce, gay women marry at nearly double the rate of gay men. So it’s possible that men only marry when they have a stronger bond

purpledaggers · 2023-10-17T12:41:57+00:00

In 2011, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released the 2010 results of their National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey and report that 44% of lesbian women, 61% of bisexual women, and 35% of heterosexual women experienced domestic violence in their lifetime.[408] This same report states that 26% of gay men, 37% of bisexual men, and 29% of heterosexual men experienced domestic violence in their lifetime.[408] A 2013 study showed that 40.4% of self-identified lesbians and 56.9% of bisexual women have reported being victims of partner violence.

Honestly these stats are a bit fucked and weird. Wouldn't shock me if its a sampling problem more than anything, and under/over reporting on the other end of things.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-10-17T20:59:04+00:00

Lesbians are far more likely to get married in the first place than gay men. Which means the gay men getting married have probably been together a while and are better suited to marriage than other men in their demographic who simply don’t marry. While being quick to get married might be considered a problem in itself, it’s worth noting that we don’t know the breakup/separation stats for gay men who never married.

Second, yes, women are more likely to pull the plug on a marriage, whether with a woman or man. This doesn’t necessarily mean men make it work better though, they often seem to just linger in bad marriages and let the woman end it. And in the case of gay couples, there is no woman to end it. There are valid arguments to be made on both sides as to whether women bail too early or men hang on too long, but the important thing is if you hang on, are you doing anything to fix it? And from a purely anecdotal perspective, men often don’t do that part.

As far as DV rates go, other commenters have brought up some interesting points about how many lesbians (and bisexual women in lesbian relationships) have been abused by men in prior relationships. That being said, I also do not doubt lesbians are also abused by female partners, and personally know some who have been. While it is rare for a woman to be able to intimidate a man (at least physically), it is very possible for a woman to abuse a woman or a man abuse a man.

So, can the woman be “the problem” in a relationship? Of course, I don’t think anyone really denies that. But this definitely doesn’t prove men have it all together when it comes to relationships either. After all, 59% of gay men cheat and only 8% of lesbians cheat.

Amiskon2 · 2023-10-17T13:42:57+00:00

I do find it odd that lesbians are often so open to cheat with men, way more than gay men are to cheat with women. I had a lesbian neighbor and she also started to be very nice with me... not anymore as I had no interest in her, but I find odd that lesbians are like this. This hate men but also want to fuck them or seduce them on the side.

Why do lesbian couples do so bad? This is my theory:

I think the reason is that in most couples the man is expected to provide. If you are a lesbian, there is no man to provide, so one of them have to take the masculine baggage. Of course this creates tension and resentment.

obviousredflag · 2023-10-17T07:50:27+00:00

This is proof that women are either more likely to do dealbreaking behavior, or they are worse at conflict resolution than men.

Or a million different other explanations. You cannot just take one and declare it as being proven by this data.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-17T12:25:49+00:00

Deeper possible counterargument. What if long term, socially enforced monogamous relationships of any kind, gay or straight, always went against female nature. What if they were created to appease male desire to have constant guaranteed sexual access and paternal certainty.

What if it is natural and normal female desire for relationships involving sex to have a shelf life. For attraction to wane, and then sex become repulsive to the woman when it does? Or for a woman to go post-sexual at various times, like when she has kids. Or sometimes permanently when she ages, often younger than some would want to admit?

So sure, maybe women are the 'problem', but only because society has wanted to constrain and control their sexual nature, primarily to male ends, removing the natural ebb and flow of female sexuality and attraction? Often forcing women to have sex once the attraction is gone and repulsion and even trauma sets in?

whatever8482 · 2023-11-04T05:42:52+00:00

It’s not that society isn’t ready to hold women accountable, it’s that when women do something harmful to the relationship they do it in such a passive way that they can always bend the truth to show that they were doing it for some innocent reason of their own, and they fully believe it was because of their own innocent reason when it clearly was not.

candikanez · 2023-10-17T20:31:21+00:00

It's most likely their tendency to move very fast and quickly invest in a relationship. I mean it's so prevalent that it's a common joke and even has is own term-- U-hauling.

Of course these relationships will end much more often when they're rushed.

MarjieJ98354 · 2023-10-17T22:16:45+00:00

I can admit that most relationship problems originate from women being spoiled by men. But I'm not a women that gets spoiled by men, and I have no incentive to spoil a man when I'll get nothing in return. I really don't expect anything good from men for me, so I'm pretty much out of the game.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-17T06:43:11+00:00

Gay people aren't straight people. Gay marriages can only last about twenty years max (edit for those without the common sense to realise: it hasn't been legal anywhere for longer than that) and gay dating is its own kettle of fish with unique characteristics and is very informed by homophobia and community traumas. For example, lesbians and gay-partnered bi women tend to marry more quickly, have less options for relationships, are more likely to be previously in a relationship with someone they forced themselves to be with and have a higher rate of past abuse than other groups. (Also, logically you just can't translate directly from A to B. Is it "women are divorcing, so women are the problem" or "women are divorcing, so those who marry women are the problem"?)

CalmGuitar · 2023-10-17T08:38:08+00:00

It's because both of them are depressed and oppressed women and also a sexual minority. They can't come out and else will face violence by regressive society. Society should help them by giving them a regular income and worship them as proud sister goddesses. You go girls! Also, if you don't like your girl, you should sleep with a new girl everyday. After all, lesbian sex is no sex. You're just a virgin. /s

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-17T13:44:54+00:00

Per your own link, MANY of the perpetrators in the lesbian reports of intimate and bisexual partner violence were men…

The CDC also stated that 43.8% of lesbian women reported experiencing physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners. The study notes that, out of those 43.8%, two thirds (67.4%) reported exclusively female perpetrators. The other third reported at least one perpetrator being male, however the study made no distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators. Similarly, 61.1% of bisexual women reported physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners in the same study with 89.5% reporting at least one perpetrator being male. In contrast, 35% of heterosexual women reported having been victim of intimate partner violence, with 98.7% of them reporting male perpetrators exclusively.[23]

Kero_9 · 2023-10-17T11:08:35+00:00

Lesbians will be more tempted to attack each other as they are in equal relationship and have similar physical strength , the consequences of these assualts physically will result less damage and less mortality comparing to XY holders , also women are good when it comes to creating emotinal damage and they are far better than men

You will hear mostly lesbians complaining about emotional damage and verbal abuse rather than physical assaults , first cause they will not be taken seriously about physical assualts from other women , and second due to women having a higher verbal iq and emotional intelligence that can turn moments of intimacy into emotional disaster

Rogue5454 · 2023-10-17T07:06:19+00:00

Simply: why do you think lesbian women are the SAME as heterosexual women?

Are you then saying heterosexual women should compare heterosexual men & gay men as the same in terms of how sexual & intimate relationships with them are? lol

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-17T06:32:32+00:00

Yay proof that women won't stay in shitty, unfulfilling relationships!

Hooray for lesbians. I wish all women had the courage to leave their shitty, unfulfilling relationships.

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-10-17T07:23:15+00:00

Another damning statistic is that 44% of lesbians reported experiencing intimate partner violence, compared to 35% of straight women and 26% of gay men

And this is why we don't like kids using Wikipedia as their main source folks! And why you should always read the references.

Because if you read the actual studies, most intimate partner violence for lesbians and bi women was in previous hetero relationships with men.

YveisGrey · 2023-10-17T14:18:29+00:00

The stats on DV are misconstrued. Lesbians and Bisexual women experience increased rates if domestic violence from men as well as women. Most of the research is rather inconclusive but nevertheless the findings are based on ever experiencing domestic violence not the sex of the perpetrator

paperpablo · 2023-10-17T17:37:27+00:00

Stevie wonder could have seen that

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2023-10-17T09:29:37+00:00

Jesus if the people on this sub were actual statisticians and academics the bar evidence and proof would be low

First... What do you mean by the problem???? Be clear what are you saying from this?

gntlbastard · 2023-10-17T13:17:52+00:00

Proof that women can't even stay married to women. All joking aside the issue is marriage is an entirely outdated institution. It worked back in the day where you got married and were dead by the weekend. Doesn't work today.

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-10-17T09:02:08+00:00

Facts

ROBYoutube · 2023-10-17T07:01:38+00:00

Another damning statistic is that 44% of lesbians reported experiencing intimate partner violence, compared to 35% of straight women and 26% of gay men

Tip for people new to critical thinking, look out for the word 'reported'. Because that means going to a police station, or a magistrate, and making a claim that you've been assaulted.

Now, it can mean everything or nothing that the MORE men are involved in a relationship the LESS domestic violence is reported. That could mean that women are just more violent. It could also mean that men become way, way, way more of a threat to your safety if you make a report against them. Like I say who knows, it's probably the women are just inherently more violent thing like the OP says like a big smart boy.

ed2332 · 2023-10-17T20:58:00+00:00

Theyre gonna find a way to blame men eventually

Wrong-Wrap942 · 2023-10-17T13:46:00+00:00

Yeah bud those studies have been heavily criticized for unfair biases. Lesbian relationships also tend to last longer than any other couple - which is also why you have that skewed result.

Lesbian dynamics and straight dynamics are not the same, so comparing the two doesn’t even make sense.

Mitago1 · 2023-10-17T07:24:24+00:00

Every relationship is different, sometimes the woman is the problem and sometimes the man and other times both of them are the problem. I highly doubt that inherently one gender is more violent or abusive than the other when it comes to intimate partner violence, since there are equally as many abusers and just shitty people in general on both sides of the spectrum.

Plus most studies use self-reports and most women and men don't really report domestic physical or mental abuse.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-10-17T19:53:42+00:00

The lesbian statistic is about who EXPERIENCED abuse.

Plenty of closet lesbians experienced abuse in a straight relationship before coming out

WYenginerdWY · 2023-10-17T22:23:19+00:00

an analysis of lesbian relationships shows that women are the ones who are most guilty of this.

You've completely failed to account for differences in the types of relationship breaking behaviors exhibited. Every lesbian I've interacted with has had an absolute zero bullshit tolerance; I've left them shaking their heads in disgust when I reveal what I (and other straight women) routinely put up with in relationships.

A lesbian is typically much more independent, less likely to be tied down by children, and has much higher standards for "is this person adding or subtracting from my life happiness".

You say all this "women are the problem, HA" nonsense, but I don't know a single lesbian that envies straight women while, in contrast, straight women talk all the time about how we're proof that sexuality isn't a choice.

GroundbreakingTax410 · 2023-10-17T21:07:50+00:00

I’ll slap the shit out of a dyke idc

TinCrud1 · 2023-10-18T23:59:30+00:00

Well, most of what you're saying is correct. As someone who has a close lesbian and another pansexual friend, they know that it's a shit show dating women. This is why I laugh when women post online that they're never the problem.

However, you make it seem like women are mostly to blame for toxic relationships. Men and women IMO are equally toxic across the board when it comes to toxic behavior. A lot of women online do not want to believe that.

With that said, violence and murder in straight relationships are predominantly done by males. That one cannot be argued against, and it is too big of a problem.

Implentofhell · 2023-10-20T06:50:29+00:00

Yeah shocking women are the problem.

Forward-Title-7023 · 2023-10-20T15:29:31+00:00

Of Course its womens fault Like 70%. Why do you think all These movements exist and all youth Males are toxic and resentful

Dagenius1 · 2023-10-21T01:20:43+00:00

Just here to see what the comments are like. I assumed that this would make it to the forum once those divorce rates came out.

Sofiwyn · 2023-10-21T03:14:28+00:00

I'm not gay, but I've heard jokes about lesbians rushing into getting married.

Rushing to get married is almost always a horrible idea.

makko007 · 2023-11-10T11:27:04+00:00

Dude, of course women are gonna be the issue in lesbian relationships instead of men. It’s between two women.

Queasy_Worldliness17 · 2023-11-14T02:49:13+00:00

Makes me laugh seeing all the adulterous "late bloomers" maulding over this. Must be the patriarchy making gay women do this.

Cyfiefie · 2023-11-14T05:00:01+00:00

It only shows women are more likely to break up.

Incendas1 · 2023-11-14T21:48:02+00:00

"This is proof that..."

Does the study actually test and prove your statement?

There is a big issue with scientific and statistic illiteracy. Don't be part of it.

Ok-Coat7665 · 2023-10-17T07:50:30+00:00

Lesbians are a small minority of women, too much of an outlier to be representative of the general female population. These stats shouldn’t be projected onto women as a whole.

illusive-man-00 · 2023-10-17T09:50:41+00:00

You are correct which is why God created the masculine and feminine energy to compliment and balance one another out. Adam and Eve.

Imagine chaos with chaos as opposed to Chaos balanced out with order….

Anyone ignoring this is wilfully blind.

YveisGrey · 2023-10-17T14:18:01+00:00

The stats on DV are misconstrued. Lesbians and Bisexual women experience increased rates if domestic violence from men as well as women. Most of the research is rather inconclusive but nevertheless the findings are based on ever experiencing domestic violence not the sex of the perpetrator

Diamond-Breath · 2023-10-17T12:27:44+00:00

Why do men always use the same study over and over? It doesn't necessarily mean that women abused other women, it also means that they were with some lesser men before considering themselves as lesbians.

It's clear that around the world, domestic abuse occurs way more in heterosexual relationships, specifically men abusing women. Don't try to cover the whole Sun with your thumb.

Safinated · 2023-10-17T10:46:12+00:00

Any time someone whips out the lesbian DV stats, I know they’re not interested in the truth

CommieRedEyes · 2023-10-17T06:30:42+00:00

Wikipedia? Really?

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2023-10-17T15:37:57+00:00

Where there isn't any major power imbalance between the partners, it is not DV. It's just toxic.

Electrical-Beat-2232 · 2023-10-17T10:11:25+00:00

I dunno man, this is all sounds like bogus science to me, outside of lesbians getting divorced at higher rates tham gay men.

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candysipper · 2023-10-17T13:04:52+00:00

Lesbians seem to always want to rush into marriage. The natural consequence of that is that they’re going to have higher divorce ratesz

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-10-17T17:46:34+00:00

The majority of lesbians I have met have a pretty domineering personality so this doesnt surprise me at all. The majority of straight women dont have domineering personalities.

Reversegiraffe1 · 2023-10-17T19:49:39+00:00

Gotem

kittycard · 2023-10-17T20:30:49+00:00

My question is, is there a breakdown in said relationships of who is the instigator? By this, I mean masc/femme/NB-presenting partners who are the one responsible. Butches are usually very masculine and have traits similar to men while femmes are more feminine and womanly and I think understanding that could be a common denominator with heterosexual relationships, too.

meangingersnap · 2023-10-17T22:58:21+00:00

Bc I don’t think they’re taught to see it as dv it’s just two girls “fighting”

96tillinfinity___ · 2023-10-17T23:13:08+00:00

Women hate everything but except Greys Anatomy and attractive men

We knew this already

Rebexl5150 · 2023-10-18T01:35:53+00:00

I agree 💯. I would further comment, but I know the mods will get upset & silence me.

Hrquestiob · 2023-10-18T02:48:15+00:00

For whatever reason, this common misinterpretation of the CDC study really grinds my gears. You didn’t post the full stat:

The CDC also stated that 43.8% of lesbian women reported experiencing physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners. The study notes that, out of those 43.8%, two thirds (67.4%) reported exclusively female perpetrators

Necessary-Flan8335 · 2023-10-18T14:24:13+00:00

A house with a lesbian couple must be a disaster 😂😂😂😂I can't even imagine the kind of sh*t that goes on in that house

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2023-10-18T21:08:57+00:00

It doesn't prove that women are the problem. But it's definitely an indication that women are more comfortable with divorce.

Title	Statistics on lesbian relationships prove that women are the problem more often than we'd like to admit
Author	majani
Upvotes	406
Comments	728
Date	October 17, 2023 6:19 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/179rsxt/statistics_on_lesbian_relationships_prove_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/statistics-on-lesbian-relationships-prove-that.1235394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235394

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