I ended up buying the vibrator as a surprise. I want to introduce new sex ideas to the room.
She flipped out, said she will never try it. Saying she has a low libido and a toy won't fix it.
She is not religious, but ended up seeking marriage advice from christian therapy sites.
These sites told her I watch too much porn... blah blah ( I rarely, rarely watch porn, only to edge train ).
After she said no... she said she's willing for sex 3x weekly (up from 1x monthly).
It is better, but only 1x weekly, and she hates long, fun sex, still quickies.
Anyways, the other night I got a little tiny sex toy she was comfortable with previously...
She opened her legs and relaxed, was enjoying it way more than normal.
I decided fuck it, got up, and grabbed the sex toy.
She didnt refuse, infect she opened up for it and let me have my fun. ( I love giving pleasure, and receiving pleasure).
After we were both done.. we decided to play some video games... I was stoked about something new in bed.
After ten minutes.... it hit me.
Hey babe, you changed and were way willing. How many times did you use that without me knowing?
She went from refusing to ever use it.... to using it 6 times in the last 2 weeks.
I smiled... laughed, and told her good job, at least she finally is thinking about sex.
Internally.... I am shitting bricks. Used how many times in secret, not telling me, knowing it's my fantasy?
I ask her, so did you plan on telling me?... "no, I'd be embarrassed. "
It's fun, kinky, and new.
However... I finally realized a female hamster mindset. I realize so much more of the red pill, how easily females can lie, deceive, and frankly not care.
I've been told for years... she has no libido... sex monthly. To find she masturbates 3x weekly with this.
She has a libido, just not a libido for me.
Abundance mindset, frame,gym, lifting, diet....
I have work to do.
My thoughts currently:
- What else is she not telling me. Feels lied too.. massive distrust.
- Should I care, focus on me.
- Maybe this is good, and can push for more kink down the road.
- Maybe I opened some fucked door earlier rather than later.
Honestly, good she's finally having sexual thoughts. Good she's having more sex with me. It still isn't enough for me....and I realize not enough for her.