Back when I was a dumb and much too innocent pickmeisha I couldn't fully understand why everyone here was so adamant about going on expensive dates and receiving gifts. Part of it was due to me being overly nurturing and pitying those "poor guys"... who were... "struggling". I know... I know... 😒

Now that I get the full extent of things I would like to compile and share every angle on this issue I have found in case anyone else has also had their doubts on this. I know that this information is in the handbook, but everyone can use a reminder from time to time.

- if a man takes you out on field "dates" or "coffee" dates, he might very well be doing so because he is dating other women as well; in the very very beginning (texting stage, before the first date) it is okay for me, personally, if a guy has more options, but these LVM date an insane number of women at once without putting an end to it when things get serious with one of them and go through them like they are about to die in a few months

- if a man invests more on you he will automatically (unless ultra rich) take you more seriously because he will be thinking about the money he spent on you before doing something stupid. so the stakes will be higher for him ("hurt him in his pockets")

- think about the money and time you have to spend on yourself to go on dates and be seeing this man. outfits, makeup, shaving/waxing etc. it is only fair that he makes up for that

- think about what you want from him? is it a family? will he ever be able to provide for that? are you really certain of that?

- if a man is HV and truly wants you he will find a way to level up and meet you at your level ("if he wanted to, he would")

- in a relationship with a man 50/50 is not fair at all, no matter what the relationship is like. want to know why? because even if you are not having children with that man, even if you are not doing any house chores for him... you are giving him one of the most precious things you have. your time and your youth. if the relationship ends, not only you might miss out on other great opportunities in life, but because of the patriarchy we live in, whilst not impossible, it can be harder for a woman to date when older. do not throw away your youth on a NVM and live your best life while you are still young. whether that is finding/being with your HVM or spending your time free, working on your career and/or traveling. do not settle. do not ever waste your youth on garbage "men"

- and onto the most disturbing, depressing and angering point on this list... I would always wonder why LVM lead women on if they don't want a relationship or even get into relationships when they don't see themselves long term with the women they are with. why can't they just get a hooker? well, well, well... it is because inexpensive hookers besides being less safe can't be bothered to pretend that they are into them and they cannot afford high class escorts. so by dating one of these men you are acting as a high class escort for free or next to nothing. some of them even admit to it here on reddit. that is how they see us. so, in conclusion, you are basically unknowingly prostituting yourself without getting anything in return but pain and stress 😔

Do not do this to yourself! Do not EVER EVER feel guilty for taking a man's money. That money is akin to a safety net and it is OWED to you!

If you have any more reasons to not feel guilty for taking a man's money, please leave them below and help other women out there get the wake up call they need. I, personally, wish I had realized or learnt about these things sooner. Do not be me, the girl that had to kick herself after the fact, and avoid getting used at all costs. By doing this, you are not only helping yourself, but you are setting a standard for how women should be treated worldwide.