Hey guys. I decided to write a post as I've never really contributed but I've taken a whole lot from here.
I ended a 3 year LTR as I wanted to be single, that's it really. It wasn't horrible. She wasn't evil. I just wanted to have sex with a whole bunch of different girls. Turns out using the basics from here, it's real easy.
Me. Late 20s
I live in a big city.
Own my apartment I live in alone.
Muay Thai for about 10 years
Not a lifter but the kickboxing keeps me in decent enough shape. Not a big dude at all. Think "fighting thin" 6"1 and about 175lbs.
On a normal day I'm a 6.5 at my best I'm a 7.
I am writing this as a bullet point list really. I've found dating to be utterly hassle free which has come as a shock to me so I figured I would just pop down some stuff that I've found and hopefully it benefits people. Most of it is obvious / simple.
Essentially this is a list of practical things with no order or theme. Please add yours in the comments. I don't mention the actual meeting of girls much as to be honest I don't know how I do it really. No set way. Tinder. Parties. Bars (my least successful place for meeting). I don't go to clubs. Friends of friends. Language classes. Just out in the world really.
When arranging dates I always pick a bar near my house and I tell the girls this to make it clear why we are meeting. "Let's meet at bar X because it's right next to my apartment." Note the use of BECAUSE. This works well. I go home with a lot of first dates. A couple of them have told me they noticed it and liked the confidence / the leading.
Give yourself a chance. Be as attractive as you can be. Trimmed nails. Regular haircuts. Styled facial hair. New clothes. The clothes don't have to be expensive. I bought a 10 pack of cheap plain t shirts. They fit right and look new. That's all that matters. Throw out stuff that you know is dead and should be thrown out.
Smell good and have good breath.
Don't drink too much. I usually only have two drinks on a date. It also leads to a good line of, "I'm not looking to drink anymore but I am keen to keep hanging out if you want to come to my place." People say a girl needs an excuse to come back I. E. Come see my antique Xylophone that I told you about . But I've found just saying this works more often than it doesn't.
Condoms. Wear them. It doesn't get mentioned much here but after a touch of chlamydia I thought I would reiterate it. Girl who gave it to me was an upper middle class architect. So, you know, it can be anyone.
Have wine in the fridge all the time. Can be cheap shit. Go buy 10 bottles of piss and keep it handy. It's a good excuse to hangout in the apartment. Not for first dates but for second onward. Skip the bar and have her round for wine, if you are late 20s or older and fucking younger girls they like this. A girl under 25 being invited round for a glass of wine makes her feel like a sophisticated grown up. A 21 year old told me this.
Create the picture of a life she wants to be part of. So, girls don't do shit. Generally speaking they have no hobbies beyond texting. They are looking for a guy to show them stuff and take them places or just have things going on. I have a lot of friends. They are cool interesting people. I talk about them on dates. "Ah that reminds me of something my mate Matt was telling me. This is a fairly disgusting end to a Tinder date story. You in?" Tell your friends stories. Be someone who seems to hangout with all these awesome and hilarious people. I've travelled the world a fair bit and I find the stories about my friends have more of an impact than any story of trekking through the Vietnamese jungle etc.
Shit tests. I'll agree and amplify if the vibe is right and we are fucking with each other. If we don't have that vibe (yet) and it comes over as her just being mean or being a bitch. I ignore it completely. Act like she didn't even talk. It works better than anything I've tried. A girl had a party at her place. I'd met her that day from tinder and she invited me to the party. At some point she says to me, "You are maybe half as funny as you think you are." I saw a girl heading out the door and said, "are you going to the store? I'll come too, need some more beers." Then just walked off. So this party hosting girl was some big feminist and would give me shit tests all night, constant nonsense and social justice crap. I ignored each and every one of them. Just started a new conversation with someone else. She wasn't getting the argument she obviously craved. Whenever she was nice, she got attention. She figured it out and stopped being a dick. Depriving her of attention was the worst thing that could happen to her it seemed. She was hot and a lot of her friends seemed like male feminists I. E. Skinny and desperate to please her. We had sex when the party ended.
It's an old one here but it is so so true. Text for logistics only. Do. Not. Validate. Her. By. Text. She should have to work for those feelings of attention. Don't let her get her dopamine hit lying on the couch texting you and 6 other dudes. Once I have fucked a girl a few times then I don't mind some bullshit by text. Memes. Links to stuff we have talked about etc. To be perfectly honest if you are doing all this stuff right and sleeping with 3 or 4 different girls on top of having a productive life..... You really won't have time to go back and forward on text.
When it comes to the number scale and girls I've found some stuff. Ask out YOUR 10s. So, I had a weird thing for a while. I had no problem asking out a 7. But when I saw a 9/10 I would be intimidated. My 10s are real thin Balkan / Russian looking girls. That's what I am about. Tiny frames. Small tits. So I'd ask out anyone that wasn't them basically as I "wasn't ready for that." Turns out.... They aren't everyone's 10. There was this one chick I thought was incredible. My friend likes gym girls. Thiiiiickkkkkk ones. The girl I liked? He thought she was below average. Right...... I should just ask then because if she is a 6 to him and I'm not scared of 6s let's do it. Sometimes YOUR 10s say yes. Ask em.
I have taken loads from here but the one thing I want to give back is that none of it matters. It's just not that big a deal. On this run I've had sex with the hottest women I've ever been with. No 10s. But a a solid run of 7-9. Some stupid good runs as well. 5 in 5 days and things. Know what I felt? At first, excited. Then....... Tired. Then bored of talking to girls. The sex was fine. Good even. Sometimes excellent. But largely inconsequential. I know I can do it now so I actually do it less. I passed up fucking some girl the other night so that I could play PUBG after training. I took a great feeling of pride in doing what I wanted like that. Previously I'd never pass up a chance to go meet a girl. And of course the ridiculous thing is now that I'm willing to pass it up..... They want to fuck more. I'm happy to feel that. I hope if you aren't there that you will feel it one day. I'm actually open to another LTR now. I've met a girl who seems cool and I like being around. If it works great. If not then I know I can go back to living like this. Either is fine. Both have a lot fun moments. That confidence likely makes it way more likely to work I think. Who knows. We're all dying anyway.
Many blessings to you all. I wouldn't dare attempt to field questions. I'm just some idiot who has got ok at getting laid when desired. Hopefully we can chat a bit though and maybe see what other bullet points people add.