Frame. The most ethereal concept on the red pill. Countless newbies ask what frame is and rarely do they get a simple and concise answer. Rather than define I’m going to give examples from my own personal life.

EXAMPLE ONE - BIG PICTURE FRAME CONTROL

Several years ago (ok, more than several years ago) I had graduated university, got my first real job and moved to a new city with my LTR. A few months after we arrived I broke my leg playing rugby in just the second match of the season. It was a devastating injury - my ankle got snapped and twisted 180 degrees.

We had only just started working and renting an apartment and didn’t have anything in the way of savings. I couldn’t work for two months and had no money to contribute. I was also physically weak and my playing career was over. Prime time for her to branch swing right?

Now this woman was a delightful feminine presence - but she was ultra-hypergamous and the absolute extreme of a ruthless, branch swinging, disloyal woman. She only had eyes for the king. Thus you would think my days were numbered as, like all of them, she had countless options waiting to swoop.

But nothing of the sort happened. She spent the two months paying for everything, cleaning the house, cooking all my meals and looking after me like the king that I am. Is that loyalty? A normal man would say so but we know better. It wasnt loyalty. But it was devotion. Why? Because of how I reacted when this all went down.

Yeah I broke my leg. Yeah I lost my physical power (temporarily). But at no stage did I become a bitch. In fact, the opposite! Within a couple of weeks out of surgery I was doing a regular at home workout keeping myself in the best shape I could. I got tonnes of drugs (endone for the win) and would have my mates around popping pills and watching movies with me during the day. I was reading, writing, just generally having a blast. And we were still fucking every single night! In fact when I look back I still remember that time fondly. It was so much fun. Even the sex was hilarious, me gimping around trying to fuck her properly, refusing to let her just ride.

THEORY

This digs at a deeper issue for me. Is your experience in life the circumstances or is it how you perceive and react to the circumstances? Frame is your point of view on the world. We all have one and we’re all competing. Most of us have frames that overlap with each other. Even the most disparate humans have more in common than opposition. We all agree on so much that we take for granted (that a toilet makes sense, what money is, etc). There is a vast amount of shared beliefs underpinning our world views.

Anyway. Having a strong frame means you hold your own view even under pressure to change it. We’ve all been raised by our parents (and many of us by either overbearing or single mothers) to change to please them. “Don’t pick that up! Don’t put that there! Don’t do that thing! Don’t think that thought!” Right from when you’re two years old you’re getting yelled at for doing things Mum doesn’t want you to do. Your first grade teacher takes over and by puberty the mould is set. When a woman doesn’t like what you’re doing you apologise. When a woman gets upset with what you’re saying you change to please her. It’s not biologically natural but programming a kid from birth is a powerful thing.

We are trained to have weak frames. A man with a weak frame is not attractive.

THEORY IN PRACTICE

The logic is pretty obvious. We want to get girls. To get girls we need to be attractive. A strong frame is attractive (along with many other things we won’t discuss today).

So the next question is how do we get a strong frame??? First a few more notes on what a strong frame is.

A strong frame means you don’t mentally buckle. It doesn’t mean you don’t lose. It doesn’t mean you don’t face challenges or fail. The storm comes for us all at one point or another and it’s ok to be physically weak. But what is unrecoverable is showing mental and emotional weakness. There is no coming back from being down on yourself and wallowing in self pity. This is the same concept as losers in sport. Nobody shits on the guy who tries his heart out and loses. But everybody shits on the self pitying guy who gives up on himself.

Having a strong frame means being the rock to her ocean: unmoved by the waves. She is disgusted by self pity, self loathing or self consciousness. See the common denominator? Self. Women react to you based on how you feel about yourself. If I get sick I’m cracking jokes like there’s no tomorrow. Do I give a fuck? Of course not. Am I moaning and taking it seriously? Hell no.

That’s what frame is. Holding a belief and not letting it break in the face of anything. Women want to submit to the strongest man - they want you to have the strongest frame. They want to give up responsibility to you. That’s why they shit test you. Because you’re only good enough to them if they know you won’t bend. So when you get sick but your frame is that you’re strong and this is funny they automatically follow your lead. The same thing happens when you are broken and self pitying. If your frame is that you’re worthless again they’ll simply follow your lead. They’re not going to turn around and try and convince you - the man - to change your frame. That’s not their job.

SOME DAY TO DAY EXAMPLES

In this first one a girl had hit me up for a pump and dump from an online dating site. She was in my town for one night only and wanted to come over and get railed. Then, predictably, she attempted to flake: https://i.imgur.com/gE1dHzf.jpg

My response was as unbutthurt as it gets. It got no more reaction out of me than amusement. Needless to say I was balls deep in her within about 5 hours from that inital text.

The second example is probably even more surprising in its simplicity. It’s a group chat of me and my closest buddies just as the Louis CK news broke. My buddies were all shaming him and the first text you’ll see in green is me expressing my thoughts (somewhat sarcastically) on the matter. Immediately one of my friends attempts to shame me calling me a bit of a prick etc: https://i.imgur.com/9d30h0e.jpg

Zero engagement, zero explanation, zero defending myself. Just immediately taking the piss and not giving a fuck. If he’d pushed the point I would have probably pressure flipped asking if there’s something he wanted to tell us about his own successful approaches with women. I still wouldn’t have defended, explained or justified because I still wouldn’t have given a fuck.

What you can observe about these interactions - there was no epic burn. None of this is high fiving thathappened material. I’m simply - and powerfully - communicating that I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m not negotiating. I’m not attempting to bring them into my frame. I’m not attempting to get them to think what I think, to understand me (shudder). I’m completely unruffled. I just don’t care. I’m completely and unapologetically me. I'm not seeking anything from these people.

To hold frame is to be non-needy and being non-reactive is how that manifests. Reacting gives away everything and communicates the weakest possible position: that you care. Non-needy means you don’t need them to argue. You don’t need them to approve. You don’t need them think what you think or understand. The second you begin to engage, argue, try to convince of your position, you’re needy and you show that you care. And if you care you’re handing them the power.

Men don’t need to agree. We are not women. We don’t need a consensus, we need a Caeser. We say what we think with little to no regard for protecting feelings and then automatically order ourselves into a heirarchy of competence and dominance. That’s what it is to interact like a man.

Just to put my money where my mouth is. Here’s my main plate (you'll have to just trust that her face is very pretty): https://i.imgur.com/YEfiKZn.jpg

And here’s an album of recent pics of me: https://imgur.com/a/V2Avr. Body’s far from perfect (186cm, 110kg, around 20% bf) but I pass the minimum threshold that my game/frame does the rest.

By normal man’s standards I have extraordinary success with women but I still get rejected. Winning at life doesn’t mean never losing. Winning at life means holding the frame of being a winner even when you lose.