Red flags from Mr Perfect?

YegoEgo · 2020-04-21T09:34:06+00:00

I am a man and you need to know, that no man ever will act naturally when he is the first time with you and your parents in the same house. This is not a good time to look for any red flags, couse chances of him being 100% himself are very low. You need to spend some time with him alone.

ShootingDanks · 2020-04-21T17:35:42+00:00

Mr Perfect

We agree on pretty much everything

I could genuinely see a future together.

You have never met him in person.

Lady, slow your roll. Seriously, take a step back and remember that he could have created a completely false persona online. You might know what he looks like, what he sounds like, but everything else could be a lie. So don't even think about a future together, until you have met him, his friends, his family, his colleagues. He might well be Mr Perfect, but it's far too early to tell.

Look for actions matching words. Dedication to self-improvement. Ambition. Kindness. Active steps towards goals. Financial responsibility. The ability to regulate his emotions. A positive attitude and abundance mentality. Treating others with respect. A good sense of humour. No mental illness.

Be careful and good luck!

Cultivate_a_Rose · 2020-04-21T13:29:57+00:00

Like others pointed out, it is unlikely that he will be unguarded. But that, itself, is something that can (and should) be used as a point of reference. He will come to stay with your family, so what you have is a great opportunity to see how he interacts with your family and get their opinions, too. Everything will be about respect and boundaries. Does he respect your family? Does graciousness come easily for him? How does he comport himself in situations where he is both your perspective Captain and a guest in your family's home? Can he situate himself easily or does he have difficulty abiding by others' boundaries and authorities? Basically, the context of this visit would be meditated by respect more than anything, so that is what is being observed, here. It isn't, imho, a poor step forward at all. If he comports himself well and gains a beginning, preliminary, approval from your father (and other family) that sounds like a success. If he has difficulty with any of this, how will he act under pressure when it really matters?

Good luck!

uniqueeleni · 2020-04-21T07:44:54+00:00

[deleted]

Islehaven · 2020-04-21T13:57:55+00:00

The most important thing is to have patience. Give yourself time.

He’s a strong possibility, but you haven’t actually met him yet, not for real, not in terms of dating and finding out whether this is someone you want to spend your life with.

In terms of red flags, well, you might like to read Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum.

It’s written from the perspective of figuring out whether problems in a relationship are so serious that you’d be better off leaving… but, if there’s a problem serious enough that you’d need to leave the relationship, that would equally indicate that you shouldn’t get in the relationship in the first place :)

teaandtalk · 2020-04-21T08:18:26+00:00

Red flag: if he's so perfect, why hasn't he found a partner in his own state?

Dogonapillow · 2020-04-21T15:33:47+00:00

you've never met him in person ?

jininxica · 2020-04-23T13:21:33+00:00

I've pretty much had only LDR from the internet so here's a few I can say I found:

if he's super affectionate when you're alone but super distant when you're in public RED FLAG
if he doesn't talk about how he feels about stuff, then gets mad at you for it when you werent told it was an issue RED FLAG
If he legit just seems like Mr. Perfect, can't find anything wrong with him RED FLAG (most likely means he's hiding something)
If he keeps going on his phone, and seems to be purposefully hiding the screen from your view RED FLAG
If he explodes over something that shouldn't even be an argument RED FLAG (I had a guy start cussing at me because I didn't believe in ghost, so that's the kind of thing i mean here)

That's that type of things I've come across, but please be careful, if you've never met him in person he could be all sorts of different than he has claimed.

Zakdoekjeleggen · 2020-04-21T09:38:20+00:00

Do you fit his generic suitable mate mould or does he care about you (and not just how you can be of usr to him)?

curious-girl-5 · 2020-04-23T00:38:27+00:00

Our only issue is that we live two states a part.

Red flag.

If you have spent any time on this sub, do not get involved with a man in a LDR situation - ever.

As soon as quarantine ends, we’ll meet in person and begin dating.

If you and him live in the same area, then you two can proceed into the dating phase. But, even then, you are going to need a solid 6 to 12 months of vetting this guy to see if he is relationship material. I would be very skeptic for getting involved in this situation. Sorry, but that is the cold hard truth here.

Title	Red flags from Mr Perfect?
Author	Graciey48
Upvotes	7
Comments	30
Date	April 21, 2020 7:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/g5athh/red_flags_from_mr_perfect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/red-flags-from-mr-perfect.655793 https://theredarchive.com/post/655793

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