When it comes to marriage, are we living in the best of times?

Barely-moral · 2020-04-29T03:16:42+00:00

It depends on what you want to get from marriage.

Since divorce exists and social shaming for divorced people is close to nonexistent marriage is a useless institution to me now.

The main things I appreciate about marriage (and I am talking about marriage as it was before) is the legally and socially enforced "forever" of it all.

Without those things I fail to see what makes marriage something special. Legal advantages/perks? Really? That is all that remains from the once meaningful institution of marriage?

Marriage is supposed to be the institution that represents absolute and total commitment.

If divorce exist and is included in the institution then marriage is neither absolute nor total nor commitment.

skystar86 · 2020-04-29T04:32:32+00:00

No. Marriage is now too temporary of an institution to really be called marriage.

I advise men especially to avoid marriage and women too.

sadomasochrist · 2020-04-29T08:23:52+00:00

No. Basically the worst times. It turns out what makes marriages work is something like male to female power differential, gender roles and high exit barriers.

Right now it's covert female power, "no gender roles" with negative exit barriers.

SaBahRub · 2020-04-29T03:26:15+00:00

Let’s be real: we live in the best of times for the individual, and marriage has suffered, like everything else that’s not geared to the individual

I am fine with it, personally. Yay to life, health, choices, mobility, and personal fulfillment!

Meydra · 2020-04-29T05:18:29+00:00

How? There's no incentive anymore.

Innovative_being · 2020-04-29T03:31:58+00:00

Marriage is pointless. There’s no benefit in getting the government involved in your long term relationship, although in certain states the govt gets involved by default if you cohabit beyond a certain time

InternalOperator1 · 2020-04-29T03:45:18+00:00

At this point I don't see the point of marriage other than if you get some tax benefits out of it. If divorce means nothing, why not just live together?

skystar86 · 2020-04-29T04:44:03+00:00

Question for men: Why should women avoid racking up huge n counts if you think men should avoid marriage? Logically if she's gonna end up a single mom or a spinster anyways what does she have to lose by racking up that n count?

thedeadpill · 2020-04-29T04:43:18+00:00

Maybe.

I think common-law marriage needs to be abolished.

skystar86 · 2020-04-29T04:07:24+00:00

No because when people have no "fairy tales" in their heads relationships are not worth it. Either love or absolutely nothing imo. Either believe or leave me. Those are my terms and conditions.

Million-Suns · 2020-04-29T06:00:30+00:00

No. The best times for marriage will be when all the financial consequences will be removed. People will then truly pair, not out of interest.

From an external observer like me who think marriage is an obsolete scam, I think this is golden times however. People keep on getting married and I keep on grabbing pop corns, as drama is guaranteed to happen.

Browsing /r/survivinginfidelity and /r/deadbedrooms is a lot of fun.

People are armed with the knowledge beforehand

No they don't or they choose to ignore it. How many men end up in the manosphere after being destroyed by a woman they thought was a NAWALT? Too many, everyday.

skystar86 · 2020-04-29T06:25:25+00:00

Manosphere men: We hate single moms reeeeee.

Also manosphere men: Have our out of wedlock kids and become single moms. Reeee

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-04-29T03:52:56+00:00

I fully agree. The more freedom and the less stigma there is, the better for everyone.

NarniaFox · 2020-04-29T04:41:58+00:00

These times are much better for a lot of people and they are the best that we ever had, but available information doesn't mean that everyone is interested in educating themselves or making choices according to information that lays around.

We have a long road ahead. There are enough people who believe in fairytales, just look at tradcons or deeply religious ones, people still are expected to start a family and have kids, being single is often viewed at temporal and unfortunate.

Dan240z · 2020-04-29T09:03:57+00:00

Marriage rates are at record lows in the USA.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-04-29T12:46:40+00:00

Everyone knows that all marriages have a 40ish% chance of divorce. Couples go in knowing that. Guys go in knowing the massive legal consequences of divorce. Women know how hard it is to re-marry after divorce, especially with kids.

That's not how humans work.

Couples "go in" thinking they're the exception. Guys "go in" thinking she'll never divorce him. Women "go in" not even giving a second of thought to what potentially will happen after.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-29T16:04:32+00:00

Marriage stats are still good for upper-middle class and upper class people with uni degrees. Men who are not as successful probably don't want to take the risk of living in their car to sustain mommy's lifestyle after the divorce. I think the men who are avoiding marriage might actually just be avoiding divorce. Also too, it would seem in lower and middle class scenarios there is a greater instance of hypergamy, where men are selecting from women who do not earn enough. The "marry your equal and you'll be fine" is not so fine for men who believe they don't have many equals who would marry them. So, higher earning men get with lower earning women in those demographics posing extra risk for the man.

The 40 or 50% divorce rate might be a misnomer. It's lower for upper-middle and upper class people and higher for middle and lower class people.

It might be as simple as financial strain taking it's toll. Most people say marriage isn't about money, it's above love - but it's also said that the single biggest thing couples fight over is finances. (That whole lovely "I'm not spending too much you're not earning enough." thing).

skystar86 · 2020-04-29T19:40:40+00:00

This post is a perfect encapsulation for why marriage should no longer exist. It's simply not necessary and society is open and tolerant of people being single by choice.

I don't know if it's 'the best of times' but it's certainly a good time to do away with the institution once and for all.

2020-04-29T03:53:46+00:00

It's the best of times for women, and the worst of times for men. Women get all the benefits while men shoulder the cost and responsibilities. Women are mentally children, and will quite literally end a marriage with children because she's "bored" or the "flame" is gone or feels "neglected." Catch her cheating? She still gets the cash and prizes in a divorce for no reason.

2020-04-29T04:19:41+00:00

More like 70 percent

FabianStrifeTulip · 2020-04-29T06:50:37+00:00

meditr · 2020-04-29T13:12:57+00:00

I mean there is a lot less stress on the man to be the primary breadwinner. But marriages are the best environment to raise children in, that's a large part of what is beneficial about it. You want to model a healthy relationship for your kids to aspire for the same. Divorce and such does have an effect on children, but it's inevitable sometimes. There is also a much greater incentive to pour your time and resources if your union is a marriage. I know I'm focusing more on myself in my relationships primarily because it might go nowhere with the person you are dating.

dylang92 · 2020-04-29T15:45:54+00:00

Sure

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Title	When it comes to marriage, are we living in the best of times?
Author	shadowylurking
Upvotes	2
Comments	84
Date	April 29, 2020 3:02 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ga1lh1/when_it_comes_to_marriage_are_we_living_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-it-comes-to-marriage-are-we-living-in-the.657863 https://theredarchive.com/post/657863

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