Does anyone ever feel like they won’t ever find the right person & will be alone forever?

Madholley · 2020-05-08T17:00:42+00:00

You should be proud of yourself for deciding that you would rather have a life that meets your standards! You are not settling for a single life. You are choosing to live your life the way that you want to. I think that too many women settle for the wrong man because they are desperate to fulfill the lifestyle dreams we got from watching Disney movies. None of those relationships end well.

(Also, being older does not mean that a husband and kids are not in your future! And having children is not the only way to be involved in shaping the lives of young people. You could be a mentor, if that’s something you’re passionate about.)

To your question...yes. I am also at that weird age where I’m wondering if it’s “too late for me.” We’re living against the backdrop of our parents generation, who had kids right out of college. I’m 33 and single, stubbornly in love with myself, and I refuse to settle. I’m grateful that my 20s were spent learning to care for myself, instead of having to care for someone else. When I feel lonely, I remind myself that the best thing I can do is to live a life that I am proud of. Is there anything to look forward to in a single life, you ask? Absolutely! The freedom to follow your hobbies, to travel where you like, to have a house that always stays in the condition that you left it, to make your own decisions about how you spend your money and your time... The possibilities are endless. It’s OK to grieve at times for your younger self, who thought that your life might be different now. But you should also take stock of all of the things you have to be proud of! And all of the potential for your future. You are incredible. Enjoy your life!

lival42 · 2020-05-08T22:47:45+00:00

Single life is totes awesome!! I never get roused awake by a snoring dude who's hogging the whole damn bed. My niece will get a pony and my nephew a dirt bike and no one can stop me. The bathroom floors are always piss-free. I can spend all day in lingerie and not get interrupted by dick. There are no arguments about vacation destinations, paint colors for the bedroom, vibrators, or how much I spend on dog food. 10/10 would recommend.

VikingPug · 2020-05-08T21:12:55+00:00

Sure. I’m 42 and I’ve dated pretty much every guy you can think of out there. Celebrity, much older,much younger, narcs, good old country boy, scientist immigrant, high school crushes, independently wealthy, the lazy philosopher boy, insecure short guy yadda yadda...They are pretty much all the same. I’m not jaded but I’m a realist. I’d rather be alone than unhappily tied to some idiot.

Dying alone? That’s not a good enough reason to settle for anybody. There’s no guarantee that man will outlive you anyways. My piece of shit grandfathers died before my LVM grandmothers did on both sides.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-05-08T19:53:03+00:00

I’m 27 and feel the same way. Women don’t have many options of good men. I hate that me and women have been conditioned to be “sweet” while men just see that as an opportunity.

Neorago · 2020-05-08T19:44:11+00:00

I would love marriage and children more than anything but I'm not going to settle for anything less than a man who ALSO wants that and will treat me right. My mum brought up 3 children singlehandedly after marrying a LVM who cheated on her repeatedly then disappeared from his children's lives completely after she refused to take him back. That lead to a lot of resentment and bitterness from her towards us innocent children. I vow never to have children in an unstable relationship because it's not fair on them.

rhyth7 · 2020-05-08T19:33:33+00:00

I would like to be married and have a family too but I also want to be the best I can possibly be so that I can handle that stuff. Anytime I get a little sad I just think about my old relationships and how proud I am at walking away from the disrespect and neglect I endured from them. I'm not going to put up with that crap no more. Even if I am single for the rest of my days, it's way better than being yelled at or constantly crying. My time and energy belongs to me and there's no better freedom than that.

ethnicallyabiguous · 2020-05-09T00:13:09+00:00

I feel like I owe it to all the women all over the world, who can’t choose or are kidnapped, to be ruthless in my selection. Loneliness be damned.

blessedwiththree · 2020-05-08T17:50:28+00:00

Just chiming in to say that I felt this way prior to being married. I knew I wanted to be married and have a family (and of course I did love him)- so I rushed and ignored so many red flags, married quickly and continued in an abusive marriage (in fact, it took him leaving me for the second time to end the relationship). I wouldn't trade my children for anything, but now, despite the relationship ending, I am tied to their father due to having kids with him for the rest of my life. I am working through it, however, I experience a lot of self blame and guilt knowing that I made excuses for his behavior, took the blame and ignored the signs of what was to come. Being at the stage where you are is much better than finding the "wrong person" and trying to make it work. You have options if you want to have children. Don't settle and good for you for keeping your standards high!

DaeYeNoKen · 2020-05-08T20:57:53+00:00

Well it sure beats being with a shitebag. In every way shape and form. Seriously, I see so many women in my mum's generation who settled for sub par partners and I would never, ever want a life like theirs.

2020-05-09T07:20:11+00:00

[deleted]

sadlibrarian · 2020-05-08T18:36:04+00:00

Yep...sticking with you on the not settling front as well!

jewdiful · 2020-05-09T22:33:20+00:00

I’m really lucky in that I don’t want children. But I do often feel like I might end up not finding a “love of my life” lifetime soulmate that I’ve high key always wanted. I’ve made making peace with that a high priority in my life, and as the months and years pass since I’ve decided that is important to my health and happiness, it’s getting easier. I view it as an interesting challenge. I do get lonely, but luckily I have some amazing, loyal friends and loving family. In some ways, I wonder if not putting all of my “love” into the romantic basket is making me a better person than I would be if I was able to devote that love energy to one person instead of the many I try and often succeed in doing now.

At the very base level, it’s a matter of perspective. You can find joy and comfort in anything if you’re able to tune yourself to seeing the good or the positives in any of lifes challenges. That’s something I believe with my whole heart. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”’ is an deeply held belief of mine, and a thought that brings me a lot of comfort when I most need it.

kuttibitch · 2020-05-09T03:58:43+00:00

me too but i never wanted to get married n have children(still dont want them), ive never dated either but i turned 22 this yr and felt like i wanted to find a good man who would add value to my life. also part of me feels like i want this because of family pressure to get married and the fact that i cant travel or move out without marriage. But after seeing so many women on this sub talk about tons of disappointment yall get from men... im fine with staying single

Title	Does anyone ever feel like they won’t ever find the right person & will be alone forever?
Author	mmkay33
Upvotes	75
Comments	18
Date	May 8, 2020 8:19 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gfp5b5/does_anyone_ever_feel_like_they_wont_ever_find/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/does-anyone-ever-feel-like-they-wont-ever-find-the.676702 https://theredarchive.com/post/676702

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