Just when I thought I had seen it all: I was approached by a man who asked me to do work for him, FOR FREE, as a way to flirt with me.

smithaej · 2020-03-11T21:28:45+00:00

I'm a CPA. When I was on OLD, some men would match with me just to get free accounting advice.

My response to them was always "I bill at $400 an hour"

dzgata · 2020-03-11T20:15:34+00:00

The worst choosing beggars are always men, and worst of all is they continue because women cough pickmeishas let them get away with it.

szsunshine · 2020-03-11T20:18:59+00:00

But.....you’re a WOMAN....don’t you want to be HELPFUL?!?

(please note eye roll)

ivy176 · 2020-03-12T01:40:36+00:00

I have something similar, but it's not related to dating. I mostly work with men and I find they look to me to go that extra mile but they won't do so themselves. They seem to expect me to stand up for all of us and make things right like Mommy would.

People at my work know I get shit done and stand up for things when other people are too weak or afraid to do so. I have 2 guys right now who keep asking ME what's happening with this and that, when THEY are in the exact same position and should be doing what they're urging me to do for the sake of everyone. They'll be like "have you talked to the boss about the thing yet??" and I'm thinking, why don't you go and talk to them yourself instead of treating me like your fucking higher representative. Guys try to do this with me a lot. They will be terrified and angry about something at work, I'll start acting upon the issue (like our work trying to implement sonething inappropriate or illegal, for example), and then all of a sudden I'm the leader and they keep begging me to talk to people and asking me for updates because they're chicken shit and don't want to risk standing up for themselves and upsetting anyone, they want the benefits of correcting the issue without any back lash.

We got together (myself and all men) and had a meeting. They said we'd all go in together and discuss the issue with the boss and all agree. So I raised the issue and stated why something would not be going ahead, which my boss agreed but was obviously pissed off at me, and the other guys went SILENT and said NOTHING when the boss asked how they feel about it. One said some whimpy non assertive I-kind-of-agree type thing and that was it. Pathetic

vp2407 · 2020-03-11T20:48:29+00:00

He probably read Ben franklin’s advice that asking people for favors is a way to make them like you, and they become willing to do more favors for you in the future. I’m assuming it’s only supposed to work for minor favors, not what this genius trying to pulling off on you.

Balkanka · 2020-03-12T00:34:38+00:00

Some women really fall for it. I remember reading a post a while ago in a relationship sub where someone was asking how they can help their friend stop seeing a man in her field. The man her friend was dating was almost twice her age. IIRC, she was an art student and he worked for a gallery. She was doing all sorts of free work. She got him coffee, acted as a personal assistant, helped him organize events, and slept with him. No paid work, no internship credit, just him selling her the idea that he might be in a serious relationship with her someday.

Balkanka · 2020-03-12T03:38:50+00:00

Something similar happened to me about a year ago. A guy who had been flirting with me for years (yet I clearly had no interest in) asked me if I would write feminist pieces for a local newspaper he wanted to start because he “valued a woman’s perspective” & wanted to promote a foundation of inclusivity. I could tell he was so pleased with himself & thought he was just the most charming & progressive good boy who ever lived (& graced me with his presence).

I immediately replied by first asking what the time commitment would be, as well as compensation, & he let out this nervous laughter; he was visibly taken aback & proceeded to stumble over his words.

Did he ever process the irony in asking a woman to work for him, writing pieces specifically on women’s struggles, without pay?

We will never know.

PrincessTiaraLove · 2020-03-12T09:10:59+00:00

I hate when men try and approach me in the grocery store with “what’s for dinner” idk whatever your mother is cooking I guess, because I’m not her 🖕🏾 off.

siberiansummer · 2020-03-11T21:00:22+00:00

What do you mean? Weren’t you outrageously flattered by such an opportunity to jump on the project and him?

intrepidis_dux · 2020-03-12T01:02:44+00:00

That sounds frustrating as hell. Obviously that man isn't very smart. He should pay for your services and be twitterpated about them or STFU.

RelevantDimension7 · 2020-03-11T20:23:34+00:00

Fuck him

Title	Just when I thought I had seen it all: I was approached by a man who asked me to do work for him, FOR FREE, as a way to flirt with me.
Author	Balkanka
Upvotes	225
Comments	40
Date	March 11, 2020 8:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fh3gnt/just_when_i_thought_i_had_seen_it_all_i_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-when-i-thought-i-had-seen-it-all-i-was.680418 https://theredarchive.com/post/680418

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