I grew up super religious. I was unironically trained from childhood to believe that the man is the head of the house, and my greatest role in life was to be a supportive role to my husband's dreams. Men should be honored as reflections of God, and women have been cursed since the beginning of humanity. I was taught that, as a rule, men didn't have to put in as much effort and that is okay because faith.

Then I went to college and realized that was a bunch of bullshit. I became as liberal as you can get, casting aside all of my former conditioning. I didn't realize, however, that I was replacing it with equally as ridiculous dogma: sexual liberation as freedom. I could now date who I want, sleep with who I want, do what I want but... I was still serving men. I was acting as if I enjoyed these shitty sexual experiences, being treated as disposable by men who were taught from a young age to lie for what they wanted, and that exposing myself to STDs and potential abuse were a good thing. I was taught that, as a rule, men didn't have to put in as much effort and that is okay because feminism.

In the last 6 months, I've been come significantly more critical in evaluating who is benefiting from my beliefs, my lifestyle, my financial situation, how I spend my time, and I encourage you to do the same.

Ask yourself...

- Who benefits from your laziness when you buy fast food instead of cooking for yourself?

- Who benefits from you killing yourself at a job where you make the same as the person who doesn't even try?

- Who benefits from your activism? Who benefits from your passivity?

- Who benefits from you believing you can't change (you can't stop smoking, or overeating, or being messy)?

- Who benefits in your relationships? Are you unknowingly chasing after people and friendships and connections that don't lift you up in any way?

Now that I'm asking myself this constantly I find that:

• I've been providing free prostitution services for men who don't care about me in the name of "female empowerment"
• A lot of the things that were stressing me out were not actually for my benefit at all
• I was passively giving away a lot of my power and time and energy to things that don't matter to me
• My inaction and indifference was costing me hugely. Giving my fucks to other people and things that aren't to my benefit was draining me.

I'm not telling anyone how to believe or what to think, I'm just encouraging everyone to be judicious with your time, effort, and thoughts.