Even good guys will TRY for the low hanging fruit, right??

teeteereads · 2020-01-14T22:34:43+00:00

You’ve never met him and he wants to meet with you at his place to drink?

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-01-14T22:35:34+00:00

No. Everyone who has asked me out on OLD (granted there haven't been too many because I hardly right swipe on anyone) has suggested dinner without being prompted.

HVM will not try for low effort dates. Remember that a man who's really interested wants to impress you. He knows a glass of wine at his place isn't an "impress her" move. He's trying to get easy sex without having to spend any money or even leave his fucking house.

Parking-Act · 2020-01-14T22:35:10+00:00

His first invite was that I drop by his place and have a glass of wine with him.

Block and delete.

I totally understand why he said it, because it was a really easy transition into asking me out (we were talking about what wine he picked out at the store), but I shot it down LOL.

No, it was an easy transition for him to get you over to his place for sex. Its good you shot it down but don't downplay or make excuses for this type of behavior from men.

You did GOOD queen!!!

Sea_Soil · 2020-01-14T23:07:37+00:00

That's low effort because he is low effort. A HVM will not pull that kind of "come over to my house and hookup" stuff.

theghettogirl · 2020-01-15T00:25:58+00:00

FIRST DATE? Nope. First date of always in public for both of y'all safety. You go on his turf anything can happen.

wowthispostissad · 2020-01-14T23:09:31+00:00

You need to block him and men like that. Period.

SavvyInNYC · 2020-01-14T23:20:08+00:00

Lol, no.

I live in a city where the bars are ridiculously expensive. So a guy asking me for a drink at a nice bar gets a pass (where 2 people that have like, 5 drinks and an app can easily be over $100 and plenty of our bars are nicer than regular restaurants).

But any man inviting you to his place for a first meeting is looking for sex only. That’s not low effort, that’s no effort.

Block and on to the next one.

RiteWriter · 2020-01-15T01:52:04+00:00

Nice guy fuck boys are the plague that exhibit or project a few HVM traits but don’t let that throw you off your standards. Dear self: make sure you take your own advice.

But for him to outright suggest that — he’s not even a nice guy fuck boy. Still, in my mind, it’s better than the ones that “respect” you and “forget something in their apartment” or suggest a casual activity in their apartment and may have gained your trust and then they get coercive and think it’s fine when it’s all been a mind game. That shit — I’m still recovering from... especially when you may have earnestly vibed at first. It’s like they check themselves, box the emotions, and go back to games. I’d be open for short term if that guy would stay real and consistent.

mandoa_sky · 2020-01-15T01:17:48+00:00

yes. all early meetings should be in public locations

k97aw01 · 2020-01-14T23:37:49+00:00

Gahhhh ok. It seemed like he was just making conversation and threw that in to show interest/gauge my interest, but you ladies are probably right! 🤷🏼‍♀️ When I declined and told him that seemed like a hookup request and I wasn't about that, he agreed and said that he wanted to take things slow, get to know each other, date, and decide if it was going anywhere. It didn't seem disingenuous, but man, you can't be too cautious!

ivy176 · 2020-02-29T12:06:30+00:00

Imo you're giving them too much.

If a guy asked me to "stop by" for a drink (and it's out of the way and we're not even a couple), he'd get no response from me. But you're just running around him in circles doing verbal/texting legwork and it comes across as flirty on your end even though he's giving fuck all and seems so lazy he can barely type. He's talking total shit and just hoping you're dumb enough to fall into his lap, basically. Don't give those types any attention.

HVM won't try to get cheap sex. Many will pass even if a woman throws herself at him if he's not truly into her.

I think you need like a dating detox. You sound wrapped up in a lot of unhealthy situations with shitty guys and it seems like they've started to make you think certain things are normal. Like being involved with guys who are getting back with their exes.. does she know?? Why would you be a side chick, what are you looking for?

Title	Even good guys will TRY for the low hanging fruit, right??
Author	k97aw01
Upvotes	36
Comments	23
Date	January 14, 2020 10:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eosdj0/even_good_guys_will_try_for_the_low_hanging_fruit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/even-good-guys-will-try-for-the-low-hanging-fruit.684826 https://theredarchive.com/post/684826

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