How do you shut down sexual talk? How do they respond?

idiosyncraticg1 · 2019-12-07T18:35:18+00:00

I write one word: “inappropriate”. No paragraphs, no “I feel ___”, nothing. That shuts them down.

I’ve never actually had a guy get sexual before I was ready in person. That’s kind of creepy tbh. However, once a guy asked me to go back to his place with him in the MIDDLE of our first date. I said “uh, no”, and that was that. Maybe say something like “haha, no”/“probably not”/“maybe another time” if it happens in person.

Or if he’s hitting on you ask “what do you mean?”

psychsense · 2019-12-07T20:52:39+00:00

One time I was talking to someone I met from an OLD app. We were texting and hadn’t met in person yet but we were becoming friendlier. I was having a really bad day and he kept bringing it back to sexual things. I straight up was like “I’m a person too you know” and then he back tracked a lot and apologized but from then he played the whole “so you don’t want me to be honest? Idk how honest I can be with you about how I’m feeling because you got offended.. etc.” Ghosted him and never met IRL thank goodness.

GCchick · 2019-12-07T19:41:11+00:00

Unfortunately. In my experience, he just proved that he's not a HVM despite what he tried to appear like.

A little bit of flirting is fine but in my experience when a guy talks sex too soon, it's never a good sign. It's a sign you should drop him. You don't really owe an explanation, if he asks why you're getting away you can just say you realised the two of you were not compatible. Just know you are lucky he showed his true colors early, some guys really hide it better.

Edit : So to answer you're question. When a guy becomes sexual too soon, I ghost. I don't answer. They usually get the message right away and try to damage control by changing the subject but I either don't answer at all or answer in a very withdrawn way that makes it clear fun conversations with me are over.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-07T20:05:02+00:00

I will blatantly ignore it. Sometimes I will change the subject. They get it and stfu. Sometimes they will tell me they noticed and got the message.

AlannaAshkar · 2019-12-07T18:37:17+00:00

Block. Move on. If he respected you and wanted a relationship he wouldn’t do that. All he wants is sex block him sis.

a-net_ · 2019-12-07T19:59:51+00:00

If you think he has gone just testing the waters and hasn't crossed any of your boundaries it would be appropriate to say 'no not yet' . Or 'it's too early for that'.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-07T22:30:03+00:00

Ignore it the first time ghost after the second unless what he said was really shity.

A guy once made plans with me to go dancing and unfortunately this place was right next to the only strip club in my area, small town. He immediately couldn't help his porn addled penis brain but to make a disgusting joke about how maybe we were really going to the strip club and obviously I was going to give him a lap dance. He thought that was cheeky and cute to say to me! I told him he was a disgusting pig and blocked him.

A high-value man isn't going to start beating you to death with this dick-feels immediately. The only decent men I've ever been with never discussed sex. We just casually got to know each other as friends having conversations for 8 weeks and 6 months respectively before we ever even went on a date, let alone had sex. And neither of them ever brought up anything sexual in any way. Or tried to touch me.

They're interviewing you for compatibility not just whether you have a vagina they can get into. They know you have a vagina. They're trying to decide whether they want to be with you not just your pussy. That's why they don't bring up sex immediately. If he's bring up sex he's only looking for sex.

charenton_ · 2019-12-08T00:20:55+00:00

I had a male friend who would not stop turning convos sexual. I told him very straightforwardly multiple times that I was not interested in those conversations; I didn't want to read his Tinder profile or talk about his sex life or lack there of or anything like that. He would say he understood but continued to turn every conversation into a treatise on his sex life.

So I told him he was disgusting, that I was baffled as to why he didn't respect me enough to respect my boundaries, and blocked his ass.

It was the best feeling.

mephitmpH · 2019-12-07T20:31:05+00:00

I just change the subject. I had this guy ask me if I participate in No Nut November (nope) and exactly how long I've ever gone without having an orgasm. I did answer him, but my next line of text was a complete 180 away from any sex talk. If he had continued I would have just ignored.

Scotsburd · 2019-12-07T19:21:21+00:00

I beg your pardon?????

letsberealforamoment · 2019-12-07T18:49:47+00:00

With a "NOPE".

Title	How do you shut down sexual talk? How do they respond?
Author	cinderella_rising
Upvotes	26
Comments	20
Date	December 7, 2019 6:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e7hx1i/how_do_you_shut_down_sexual_talk_how_do_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-shut-down-sexual-talk-how-do-they.695082 https://theredarchive.com/post/695082

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