Better to stay the night at his place? Or have him stay at yours?

Sage_Planter · 2020-06-20T12:43:44+00:00

If you have the space and budget, I'd go for the double. Not because of a man, but because it's more space for you. I have a California King, and it's luxurious. It's definitely big for a single woman, and I haven't had anyone else in it for over a year. I love it.

ErikaNaumann · 2020-06-20T13:52:26+00:00

I got a king size bed just for me 😁 no scrotes are allowed.

Get the bed you want for yourself.

eru378 · 2020-06-20T09:13:58+00:00

I worried about this back when I was getting a new bed a few years ago, and I eventually stopped and realised how weird and sad it was to be taking hypothetical men into account when making a big personal life decision. I think you should choose a bed size based on what will work best for you and your comfort and convenience in day-to-day life. Who knows if a man good enough to date seriously and eventually sleep with will come along in the near future? But you do know for sure that you will need proper space to feel comfortable in your own flat every day. I hear you on the dilemma of staying at a man's place vs having him over to yours, but l strongly suggest you just deal with your current situation and prioritise your own needs. Look after yourself and make your living situation maximally comfy. That's what a high-value woman would do imo.

Capable_Okra · 2020-06-20T16:22:11+00:00

Make your space comfortable enough that moving in with a guy will be a downgrade. That will help you make a better decision for yourself when the time comes. I have moved too fast with guys because I was in a shitty living situation that I was eager to escape. As a result I've always made it a goal of mine to live by myself in a comfortable bachelorette pad. Goal accomplished 😊 Now I won't feel motivated to move in with a man until we're engaged.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-06-20T11:07:03+00:00

I have a double bed in my tiny bedroom, but I like a double bed for myself.

Added bonus is that I can stay at home and have people over if I would want to (my mom sometimes visits me for the weekend). I also have a couch that you can transform into a twin bed.

You should never do it for a man. That said, I think a double is more practical anyway. I have a lot of shoes and clothes and I made myself a custom made closet to the ceiling. It’s open and I use baskets and Mari Kondo folding so everything still fits. A real closet wouldn’t fit because of the bed, but this way I have my cake and eat it too.

Also: shelves for shoes!

Edit: double = 160 x 200

goatismycopilot · 2020-06-20T12:12:31+00:00

Get the bed you want for you to do whatever you want. Never make a decision about your needs and wants based off the needs or wants of somebody else.

swatir24 · 2020-06-20T13:37:17+00:00

I got a double bed even though I live alone. I like having family and friends over. I want to have a place where they can crash without any discomfort or inconvenience. So may be you should think about the near and dear ones you already have in your life, instead of men who might want to sleep over at some point in the future.

LU_7192 · 2020-06-20T16:17:43+00:00

Get the bigger bed! For your damn self. I have a king and I love not having to blow up an air mattress and move furniture when my sister comes to visit. Or spending nights laughing and watching movies with my girlfriends

kwalden2 · 2020-06-20T14:08:12+00:00

You need at least a double bed to be comfortable by yourself in my opinion.

I read one FDS woman say she stays overnight with men at nice hotels. This is great in theory for a while in the realtionship, but I never dated a man who could afford to keep that up for even 2 months to be honest.

I think it's only fair to share experiences roughly equally at both your place and his to be honest. You'll get to see how clean he keeps his place and how welcoming he is. Anything you do for him at your place can be reciprocated by him as well. It takes a lot of trust to share your own personal space or enter into his space, and this is just another reason to vet carefully before reaching that step.

Having the best experience with one party hosting can start at your place. This way he will do the packing and the traveling. Don't go out of your way to provide him with more than minimum accommodations. Give him a bit of space in a bathroom to shower and brush his teeth, show him a place for his overnight bag, and offer him water/one beer. That is it. Don't offer him a drawer on the first night or cook for him, for example. If you do too much, that sets a standard you may not want to keep up later. Doing too much can also come across as eager.

After some time staying at your place, fair is fair. He should equally be able to host you eventually. If you don't take public transport, I recommend taking your own car so that you can leave the minure you're ready. It's obviously a big deal to meet a pan where he is at, so this is a big step. Vet carefully first. I think it's an important step to make, though. You need to see how clean his bathroom is before agreeing to marry him. You need to know what kind of host he will be to your mother someday. Obviously, this only applies to very serious relationships. This is not a step you reach lightly.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-06-20T17:19:31+00:00

I've always had full size beds. They're just right.

abgazelle · 2020-06-20T18:55:06+00:00

I have a king size bed for myself 😂

RedPlanit · 2020-06-21T19:12:41+00:00

Get the bigger bed but not because of a man. Don’t make your choice based on men.

A bigger bed is something you won’t regret. It feels great to stretch out. You spend roughly 8 hours of your day every single day in your bed. You deserve something nice that will last you a long time.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-06-22T04:48:19+00:00

The first few night I spend with someone, he stays at my place. Once I’ve visited his place a few times during the day and know I would feel safe there I go to his place.

Title	Better to stay the night at his place? Or have him stay at yours?
Author	_Atalanta_
Upvotes	10
Comments	21
Date	June 19, 2020 8:01 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hc7nvz/better_to_stay_the_night_at_his_place_or_have_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/better-to-stay-the-night-at-his-place-or-have-him.696302 https://theredarchive.com/post/696302

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