Some girls really want their men to be more emotional to discuss his feelings more in a relationship.

Some men will immediately recognize this and say "It's a trap!!!", no, don't, and never for a million years.

Most women will be puzzled, and think no, I want my man to be like that, that's more healthy in a relationship.

The gist of it is, women don't like weak men, and this is archetypal. It cannot be changed. If you are not centred and on your feet, she will be confused psychologically, and all hell will break loose.

Then, girls will think, no, what the heck? It's about women who wanna fight for men's rights and want to raise awareness about male mental health and suicide, etc, etc.

Do you really want your boyfriend to talk about his feelings with you when he is sad and depressed? For you and most good girls, the answer is a big yes! And we know you really mean it when you say it. But, should he?

Then, girls will jump and say, yes I do! I want him to share his feeling and worries and whatever is concerning him. I would comfort him and offer advice and help. And he would do the same for me. A good and healthy relationship is one where you are both a team. Your support and look out for each other and be the source of help when you are worried or having issues. Yes, he should be. It's important to talk to people and open up to whatever is affecting you. It's unhealthy and impacts your mental health and soon your physical health. That's why you've got males having high suicide rates. Because they are bottling up their issues and not getting the help and support they need.

The collected experiences tell us that while many girls will genuinely want their boyfriends to be emotional, but then when we do, it's a big turn-off to them. Women like men to be strong, centred and on their feet. When men are, women can be at peace and in their feminine. When men aren't, women are psychologically confused, and anxious because in this case, women are being forced into a masculine role and wear the pants in the relationship carrying not just themselves but also their vulnerable partner. This is not the natural equilibrium state for women, and their inner voice will tell them to seek the shelter of a stronger, more alpha, man. Maybe they will be more irritable, and little things will lead to a big fight, then it's all downhill from there. That confusion will, one way or the other, cause them to end the relationship. So, for men, that's almost always going lead them to a worse situation than where they started. Now, he is deemed unworthy and dumped.

In the early dating phase, usually, girls tend to "close off" or "pull away" or "slow things down", or "not ready" when that happens.

That's why we call it a trap, for both of us.

Man will do it for their girlfriends, and I guess that goes without saying, will not make her less attractive due to counter-reasoning of the above.

So, what's the solution? What you can do instead?

  • Just be there for him
  • Hug and cuddle him
  • Be a bit more tolerating of him during this period, and you can ask him to compensate you after :)
  • Encourage him
  • Hear him talk
  • Make something sweet, like a cake or cookie

You don't need to

  • Solve the problem for him
  • Ask what he feels
  • Ask root causes and/or specifics
  • revenge for him and/or stand up for him
  • feel obligated to do makeshift Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) on him

Men are natural problem solvers, but we suck with emotion. We can solve the problem ourselves or find resources and people we need to connect with to solve the problem. We just want girls to be there for us during downs and not just walk away.