No emotions at all

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July 22, 2020
113 upvotes

I just can’t seem to get any emotions out, I’m too rational, nothing lights me up anymore I don’t feel anything anymore. I’ve been with this girl some time and I feel like I love her but can’t fucking express anything. It’s not that I’m scared of expressing affection or what ever, I just can’t.

I’m too rational, too cool, never let emotions get the best of me


Post Information
Title No emotions at all
Author Emit_M
Upvotes 113
Comments 108
Date 22 July 2020 06:30 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/715848
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hvz6pk/no_emotions_at_all/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]reduxDev62 points63 points  (8 children) | Copy

I had was in this exact same situation with my girlfriend in highschool and eventually broke things off with her so she could go find someone actually excited to be with her.

This is a passive process that occurs extremely frequently in males. You're emotions are being suppressed.

You are not a "master" of them, you're not a super awesome rationalist or realist or a "natural stoicist".

Your body is not allowing you to experience them because it feels that they would create a dire situation that could result in your death.

Just start small. When you pee, smile a little and think "I like peeing, peeing feels good" and the more you get little feelings like that you'll start having bigger ones.

Society calls this "bottling things up" and encourages men to cry to "let it out" so that it doesn't explode and result in school shootings or something. Which has some truth to it, but it usually results in you throwing your mouse when someone on your team feeds in league of legends.

[–]alittletoosmooth20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

I fuckin LOLd at the peeing part

[–]extasis_T9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, just wanted to add to this, that there is a proper way men should learn to deal with emotions. I think that bottling them up, along with expressing them incorrectly lead to a lot of issues for many men. Society teaches not to bottle them up, but does not aid in how they should be properly dealt with.

When I was a child, I was overly emotional. Now as a young adult, I know i have a lot of emotion suppressed because when i do express things like anger or sadness, it tends to be too extreme. I’m sure things like meditation and actively working on this would make me (and many of us) stronger people.

[–]Emit_M[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks mate, appreciate the reply

[–]throwmrwaway5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

but it usually results in you throwing your mouse when someone on your team feeds in league of legends.

been playing csgo for years and for the majority of time i never raged untill recently, i get irritated by stupid shit more than ever, but that might due to one of my recent friends influence who's very expressive of his tilt

[–]kennycrab121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha csgo gets the worst out of me

[–]buttgoogler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you pee, smile a little and think "I like peeing, peeing feels good"

Ayyyy lmao

[–]420BJsGamble0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂😂😂bro you’re a legend

[–]drovid483 points84 points  (20 children) | Copy

I heard stories of guys being able to feel emotions again when going on a nofap streak. Might help you as well. Give it a try

[–]y0ussefhesham68 points69 points  (7 children) | Copy

Was about to say this. Being flooded with dopamine causes you to despise life. You become a zombie. You become emotionless and empty. Porn, Gaming, and Junk food all release a ridiculous amount of dopamine. No wonder why 90% of teenagers are losers.

[–]Phantom09919 points20 points  (6 children) | Copy

I do nofap this is true porn has and is destroying my teen years. That emotion thing is true for me

[–]yvnglucifer4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

and is destroying my teen years. That emotion thing is true for me

I'm on about a month and a half. Noticeable differences but nothing too groundbreaking. How long did it take for your brain to go back to normal?

[–]Phantom0997 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm still not recovered man :(

[–]420BJsGamble1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m curious about no fap, I’ve been fucking many women for about 2-3 years and last night I had a REALLY hot girl over big tits fattttt asss sexy af FREAK and couldn’t get my dick up sadly. I wack it sometimes 2times a day which i now think is too much....

I saw all this to say I’ve slowed down on the porn but has no fap helped y’all??

I’m asking this because I checked on the no fap forum and it seem like a bunch of fucking loser virgins

[–]Phantom0990 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yes with no fap even random boners are back

[–]420BJsGamble0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ah okay fuck i guess I gotta do this 🥺😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The thought of not fucking a hot asss girl is worse tho

[–]Phantom0990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't have any women in my life but Nofap has made me feel much better. I think u will have more success then me if u start nofap

[–]DREADC0RSAIR4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Yeah make yourself so horny you'll beg to monkey dance" haha

[–]russian-jewboi0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Damn that’s the opposite of what I’ve gotten. I’m like 3 weeks into a streak and I’m feeling tired and like shit all the time. Probably implies I was addicted to the dopamine then oh well

[–]y0ussefhesham4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Probably going through withdrawal symptoms, aka the "flatline". It'll be really hard but think of it as rock bottom. Only gets better from here

[–]russian-jewboi3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Worst part is I’m seeing a new plate and having some ED issues lmao. I appreciate the motivating words though bro

[–]drovid40 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

most likely addicted to dopamine

remember, you have nothing to lose by trying semen retention, and you have absolutely nothing to gain when jacking off

[–]russian-jewboi0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I have plates so semen retention isn’t an option, but I’m definitely no longer interested in PM

[–]420BJsGamble0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

PM?.... I had a ED issue over the weekend that’s making me contemplate me entire fapping future.. might have to give it up😢

[–]russian-jewboi0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

porn/masturbation, also try Viagra or Cialis

[–]420BJsGamble0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Are they hard to buy? I’m 27

[–]russian-jewboi0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

nah, you can buy the generic kinds from indian compounding pharmacies online for cheap, or allegedly from steroid sources

[–]420BJsGamble0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Çan you hook me up?!

One Order of boner pills, hold the lheart attack / my dick falling off plz

[–]russian-jewboi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nah bro cant do that for you, do some basic research and you'll find a source easy. cant risk the legality so sorry bro

[–]powerappled20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

Try to see if it’s a dopamine issue. If you jerk off/ have a lot of sex it could be that as that fries your dopamine like nothing else. The next thing would be to see if you have any “addictions” to drugs or food... even something as simple as coffee could fuck your dopamine up. Dopamine is what makes us feel good and feeling good will allow you to feel those emotions . However, you never want to be too emotional... it is good that you are a logical thinker, you could be depressed or worn out from something else.

[–]rprookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have a balance of masculine and feminine energy from within’.

To much feminine energy = too much emotions (also over take the rational mind) To much masculine energy = thinking to philosophical or logical/analytical. (Also over takes the irrational mind)

Don’t get me wrong but you need both.

What he said is probably the best advice. I noticed that I’ve been doing the same from this recent year.

[–]throw-away-170952 points53 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good start for a stoicistic frame.

[–]The_King_Hudson7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

More like nihilistic.

[–]empatheticapathetic20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’ll serve you inevitably. You forget the bad emotions that come with good emotions.

I have similar issues but when I do get emotional I remember I don’t have to deal with this shit. Your stoicism is protecting you from dealing with unnecessary shit.

[–]YouNeedAVacation6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Personally a few magic mushroom and MDMA sessions with close friends gave me major breakthroughs in being able to identify, understand, and express my emotions. I was honestly a pretty emotionally and socially stunted individual in my early twenties and these compounds helped me develop those skills massively.

Don't take my word for it and do your own research of course, psychedelics aren't for everyone and shouldn't be taken lightly. That said, when used responsibly I think they can be incredibly effective tools for self-development.

[–]Emit_M[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been taking psyches for a while, definitely helped me in some areas but I can no longer take any

[–]throwaway6ixside13 points14 points  (24 children) | Copy

Bro it’s okay to show emotions like sometimes on the phone and in bed. Other then that masculine frame and pass shit tests. Women don’t want a robot.

[–]Emit_M[S] 2 points3 points  (22 children) | Copy

Yeah I know that, but I can’t..

[–]throwaway6ixside4 points5 points  (21 children) | Copy

You’re overthinking

[–]Emit_M[S] -1 points0 points  (20 children) | Copy

No man I swear, she even told me I’m fucking numb man, it pierced through me I can’t do anything about it I’m just numb as fuck

[–]throwaway6ixside2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck dude I hope other guys can help. Watch some sad shit on YouTube.

[–]_-resonance-_5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

oh bro, that is a shit test. She loves your stoicism and you are failing the test by letting her seed of doubt take root in your mind. If something is meant to strike your emotions, it will, and it’s none of her business.

BRO!!

[–]Emit_M[S] 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

I see where you’re coming from but this girl is really head over heels for me. She wants to feel a connection but I can’t make myself connect and create a link to new people, so she feels used because of it

[–]theubernoob4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

I've been there, and honestly I'm still working my way out of it, but I'm far better off than where I started. I've put a lot of work in, but I would say the most efficient work is accomplished with the help of drugs. For me it was mushrooms and Ayahuasca, but I've heard a lot of good things about MDMA, ketamine, and even LSD as well. They provide a shortcut to working through your issues.

And I wouldn't listen to the people patting you on the back saying you're supposed to be stoic and don't change. It is perfectly possible to be a stoic man with solid frame who is in touch with their emotions and able to skillfully express those emotions.

[–]ASTRA-LUX1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Encouraging drug use on a well known honeypot site? really?

[–]theubernoob0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I don't follow

[–]ASTRA-LUX0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Reddit is loaded with L.E.

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.. I just feel not in touch with my emotions

[–]Birelan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What did you feel when she told you that? I think that is an emotion as well, you have to get to know it very well and accept and then maybe you will feel other emotions again.

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously felt bad, only afterwards though. But not that much, more like observed I felt bad

[–]TheDero0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You take any substances? on any meds?

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nothing

[–]TheDero6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was hella abused growing up and it makes it hard for me to vocalize affection and show attraction. It's a work in progress and it has to be. What you are experiencing is what I am as well, I think. A very muted headspace where emotions are recognized but don't really ever reach the surface.

I think it's pretty normal to be "numb" after going through emotional trauma. You aren't alone. Just focus on yourself for a while, drop the girls, drop the phone apps, drop the screentime. Do things that you enjoy. The only way to improve is to surround yourself with things you genuinely enjoy, things that make you feel genuine emotions: finishing a really great hike, after a really good workout, cooking a really good meal, etc. Concrete things that make us human, not the artificial stuff we're spoonfed when we go on the internet. I'm not really good at advice but that's what helped me the most.

[–]Emit_M[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you man, that’s some solid advice.

I had a period where I litterly couldn’t touch the phone for over a hour a day (2 years), best time of my life. I think I’ll try focusing less on social media and more on myself.. hope it’ll help

[–]TheDero2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't put too much pressure on yourself either. There's two things you need to always reassure yourself of, 1) "I'm just going to make little changes each day, nothing huge", 2) "I will get better because I'm fucking strong". I told myself that every day for a really long time, eventually it manifests itself.

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]rabmcm320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m getting nearer to 50 and in recent years saw I had a bit of a problem with this as well. There is another aspect to this, assuming you weren’t abused in a major way , many in childhood don’t get their emotions validated by parents or carers properly. As a result your emotional system can be “wonky.” The advice about giving yourself a little pat on the back for doing simple things above (peeing for example) was actually good as that’s a way of making the problem better. Some female authors are actually good on this , the late Alice Miller or I found an author called Shari Schreiber very helpful . Just don’t make the mistake of speaking to the women in your life too much about this problem but deal with it in your own style after finding out more about it EDIT: Sorry should have read more of the thread - if you have experienced trauma then you ll have ptsd or complex ptsd ; that makes it even more important to be gentle with yourself and pats on the back for doing everyday stuff. Pete Walkers writings/ books are good for more severe trauma.

[–]ASTRA-LUX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women don’t want a robot

Women as in what? 100% of them? LOL

A masculine, reserved and well tempered = Stoic Male

[–]HoedownInBrownTown3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being stoic is feeling emotions but allowing yourself to act rationally regardless. Being apathetic is not feeling emotions at all. Just want to put this important difference out there as some here seem to be confusing the two.

[–]Zaltzie18 points19 points  (19 children) | Copy

You’re so cool you really impressed us thanks for sharing.

[–]Emit_M[S] 24 points25 points  (18 children) | Copy

I’m trying to get rid of it and actually feel something... shut the fuck up

[–]facts_not_emotions81 points82 points  (2 children) | Copy

There you go, he brought some emotion out of you.

[–]_-resonance-_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

exactly. OP is losing frame by listening to “her” opinion about him instead of owning his frame. He’s more ahead than he realizes, and also much further behind than he realizes.

[–]I-am-ed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

aAHAHAHAHAAHA tell your girlfriend op to also shut the fuck up

[–]RP_utiliser2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i feel u .. they will come back eventually just push toward your purpose trust me there will be hardship

[–]niceguyputin0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

What do you think is the reason for you becoming this way?

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

So much trauma I’ve been through, I can’t even begin.. I just feel like I’m fucked up so badly

[–]facts_not_emotions5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Talk to someone you trust about the trauma.

[–]TheExiledPrince1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Interesting...I have been through lots of trauma too, and this trait you described applies to me too, emotionless...stoistic...sociopathic.

Edit: Now that you make me think, this is positive imo, for some girls this was the trait I attracted them by. And everyday life is calm, because emotions cant get to me.

[–]Emit_M[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah but at the end they want connection, and if I can’t emotionally connect with them it isn’t worth anything

[–]I_Dont_Type1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Tell them about the trauma. A friend of mine was depressed as shit because of childhood trauma, he talked his shit through with his then gf and he woke up for the first time in his life. Not saying a girl is the only way, a guy friend would be better, but if it works it works

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]I_Dont_Type-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah no shit, he was 17 at the time and depressed as shit. If it works it works. He confided in his gf and it pretty much saved his life.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]TheExiledPrince-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I meant that part about me....
BUT, if I really wanted to debate I could make the case those two are connected (stoicism and sociopathy NOT pshychopathy).

sociopathy =/= psychophaty fyi.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am in the same boat. Pretty much living in my head, which I want to change.

I listened to some advice online. What helped me a bit, was to allow your negative feelings. Let them feel and accept that they are there and don't try to push them.
Wanted to get rid of them as well, because I was hurt badly (girls storys). Maybe that's the reason for me on why I closed my emotions.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

meditate and see a therapist

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I fully understand this my man. Even before I found trp, I just didn’t really do anything that would be considered normal and affectionate in a relationship.

Finding Trp just made it even harder to show emotions, but girls seem to like it. You sometimes have to remind yourself to show some emotion for the pull portions of the push/pull technique.

[–]cluelessguitarist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its ok , you dont need to be a happy mofo 24/7

[–]riverofpower0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

In a similar situation. I don’t mind it but it feels so unnatural not feeling anything when e.g. the SO is going through every possible emotion on the board and wondering how you can be so cold and unfaced by everything she’s saying. Honestly it doesn’t feel very normal when you experience a near-death situation and the only reaction you can muster is a ”damn, that’s cool.” and joke about it. Don’t really know if it’s a positive to be so detached from what makes you feel alive. It’s so difficult to express yourself when you don’t even really feel anything and at the same time see every moment as a blessing for being alive, it’s surreal.

[–]Emit_M[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly man, and I can’t do anything about it.. it’s not anxiety or anything, I can’t even explain what’s the root cause for this

[–]riverofpower0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Same here. I presume it’s mainly due to seeing how the world operates and how the idealistical utopia the world was presented to me when I was a bit younger, was shattered, and the process of coming to terms with it and accepting it. Seeing most people still live in the bubble and refuse to acknowledge basic facts such as trp or the circus of politics itself, it’s no wonder one adopts cynical or nihilistic traits and as a direct result becomes something akin to what we are now.

[–]Emit_M[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I can relate, I’m cynical as fuck seeing so many people living in a bubble, feels like I have no one to talk to everyone just gets played all over by social media, everyone looks for the next distraction and lives in one hell of a bubble

[–]Wants permission to daternsbrum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Smoke some weed, take some mushrooms, do some lsd... you're ready.

[–]MutesFew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was the same way. Watch sad movies and videos. Try your best to express emotions. It's a slow hard process

[–]SmithInWestervoort0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some people are less emotional. I recommend you watch Dr.K interview with Destiny. He kinda has the same ‘problem’ as you. Its really interesting. Its a lengthy interview though so if you don’t have a lot of patience you should skip the first 30 min where they talk about his life and career

[–]champagne_papi010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a PMO issue. I was on a 15 day streak unintentionally and I was "clicking" or "vibing" with women left and right.

[–]foccefacce0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been here before. Take joy in the small things and try to feel pain when it comes to you.

[–]Pen2When0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My lady describes me being the same way often but not always. I got particularly bad about it when I took 6 months or more off from the gym and sold my race cars. Now that I got my cars and gym back it's no where near as severe- so I'd recommend picking up a hobby or 2.

[–]frictiondick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what caused my last relationship to fail. Any tips ? I'm going to see a therapist soon, I think that is one of my biggest issues. The thing is I loved the girl but when the relationship broke I kinda didn't care and then again I do care. Any books to read on this or anything else I can do to help me?

[–]mrrooftops0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aspergers

[–]pantsforever3230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meditation may be helpful for this

[–]pantsforever3230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meditation may be helpful for this

[–]MountainFact90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I could ramble for hours on this, I'll be quick.

I was a bipolar gambling addict that did not give a fuck. Red Pill as hell, but dead inside.

Then I discovered Psilocybin (magic mushrooms) a few months back and it shattered my perception. Shrooms helped facilitate my newfound dedication to Taoist fundamentals, an organic keto diet, detaching from technology, and plenty of exercise. Life is worth living now and I care like I did as a kid.

Best of luck brother

[–]RevGRAN19900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also read up on Schizoid - NOT schizophrenia! - Personality Disorder(s). BTDT ... but never self-diagnose. Let a professional(s) test you.

[–]fartt1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ah fuck what society says, you don't have to. why do you want to? If we wanna talk about you being sad and not feeling life, now we got a topic. I detect some oneitis so prescribe you to drop the bitch.

There is nothing wrong with not feeling emotions.

Guys who say that are the most emotional guys. You don't know what being rational is and you question everything because you are insecure/not know how to not be emotional/you don't know how to control your emotions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take some lsd works for me

[–]hoopingblob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is pretty normal, especially for teenagers. What I did to counter act was to ask myself how I feel about a certain situation but instead of expressing it irrationally I would just explain calmly.

You will be more in touch with your emotions that way and most likely feel stuff again. Don't listen to these "dopamine" and "nofap" idiots because they don't know what they talking about. I would only go nofap if I did it irresponsibly (e.g when I am sad I immediately go to pornhub)

Just do what I said in the first lines and you will notice a drastic change

[–]BlondeHornyElf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

learn salsa dancing

study some artistic form that gets you out of your usual mental space

[–]redditdawg110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to read a book called King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. It seems like you need to dive deeper into the “lover” archetype of your male psyche. It’s not how it sounds either. It’s a must read for any male.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck me. All these little sidebar freaks.

'Yeah, that's awesome. You don't want to show emotion, it's weakness'.

You have a disconnect. We are living, breathing emotional creatures and our organismic experience teaches us a huge amount about ourselves. Red Pill is not about becoming an emotionless robot.

How do you expect to ever have an authentic internal frame if you can't even feel? How do you expect to trust your instinct and intuition about what you as a man want to do if you have no emotion?

Gotta get the flow man. Your fuck'n chi. Look into meditation and read the Tao Te Ching.

[–]xJaegar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you taking any stimulants? Caffeine can do that to you.

[–]DizzyDoomSlayer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good. Stay that way or else she'll fuck you over.

[–]SavorThePill-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No offense, but a sheer lack of emotional expression can be a sign of either Autism Spectrum Disorder or sociopathy.

[–]bayareaengineer2019-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s good. If you start getting to emotional and get into her frame she will lose attraction for you. If you’ve been with this same girl for some time does she have a problem with it?



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