What is the right gesture of sympathy in early stages of dating?

throwaway23004345 · 2020-07-28T04:12:39+00:00

I understand where you are coming from but I do not think you should be sending flowers. If you met his family etc I’d understand but I would just a bit supportive without being his therapist

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-07-28T06:44:50+00:00

If you've not met his grandmother, then I think sending flowers would be inappropriate.

Just being there for him, a willing ear to listen, or give him a hug if he needs it should be sufficient.

pineappleshampoo · 2020-07-28T06:55:40+00:00

I think a card would be appropriate. Just a simple classic sympathy card, to his address. It shows you care and are thinking about him but isn’t as flashy as flowers (which are honestly a bit of a hassle when you’ve just lost someone in my experience, having to sort through them and find vases and dispose of and transport them).

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-07-28T04:14:51+00:00

Depends how serious you are in my opinion. If you've only been seeing him a couple of weeks I'd say be respectful but be careful not to invest too much into someone you're not even in a relationship with.

He's grieving and that's normal. He needs space to heal and console his family friends and those who knew his grandmother. That's reason enough to give him space.

oathmilk · 2020-07-28T03:59:04+00:00

I think it's so sweet that you want to send flowers. To me it sounds like the most beautiful selfless gesture.

I dont know if it's too soon or not. It definitely seems like a gamble/roll of the dice. If you send flowers and he ends up being HV it might be worth it. If you send flowers and he is LV you're opening yourself up to being taken advantage of in other ways.

Tough call!

meecy166 · 2020-07-28T07:48:58+00:00

If it were me, I would just text him sorry for his loss, and my thoughts are with him

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-07-28T04:39:52+00:00

Yeah, just be there for him more than the whole flowers thing. When he’s having a hard day later it will pay off. I have no sympathy at this point because among my many family losses, my NVM would never be there to talk to me and used (not-as-close death in his family) for an excuse to not talk to me and for expecting free, sympathy pussy- I’m not saying be wary, but yes, be wary that he won’t turn this into something else- similar guy had to tell me about his uncaring, crazy ex gf as well

didumakethetea · 2020-07-28T11:27:49+00:00

Don't send flowers. He'd have to explain to his family where they came from, forcing him to discuss you and his relationship with you before he might be comfortable doing so.

If you just sent them to him then - you're sending a man flowers. That's just a straight no.

Just continue to be kind and supportive the way you have been, but make sure you don't become a quasi therapist.

merigoround1996 · 2020-07-28T04:33:05+00:00

I would actually say send them to him! I think it would be too much to send hem to the funeral but you sound like the kind of person who is doing this just because you’re a kind and generous individual:) no way you’ll regret bringing some light into the world OP!!!

redfarmmmmm · 2020-07-28T21:39:02+00:00

Dont do anything. I just let him grieve on his own.

Title	What is the right gesture of sympathy in early stages of dating?
Author	featherflowers
Upvotes	31
Comments	27
Date	July 28, 2020 3:48 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hz7hid/what_is_the_right_gesture_of_sympathy_in_early/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-is-the-right-gesture-of-sympathy-in-early.718683 https://theredarchive.com/post/718683

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