Never had a girlfriend or even a girl interested in me and I struggle with the feeling of never being wanted.

jackpayne65 · 2020-08-01T18:09:03+00:00

You are the PRIZE! This loser mentality is all in your head. The moment you start loving yourself and value yourself is the day where life will change for the better.

You are born alone and die alone. You are the most important person in your life.

anon_likes_tendies · 2020-08-01T18:19:09+00:00

You’re not missing out on much.

If you want to feel like you’re in a relationship, go burn half your money and stop having fun.

carbonblob · 2020-08-01T18:54:29+00:00

Age 20-30 is a rough time since there are genetic instincts to pair up and reproduce.

For many species, doing that is the primary reason to exist. But... humans are capable of many things, and can transcend primal desires.

I'm very average looking - maybe a 4-5. I'm quite successful on paper, that should add 3 points. But sheer wealth doesn't equalize things like you might expect.

Example - I could go to house party and have more net worth than 4 Chads there, combined. Women will still not be sincerely interested in me.

I'm not blaming them, it's just reality, both ways.

For example, you might meet a female doctor who has a hook nose, moderately thick glasses, and is a little chunky. She could be hilarious, kind, dependable, who has more $ now than you ever will, plus an amazing career for herself. And yet... you're just not physically attracted to her, and never will be.

You'll have to make peace with your reality. The good news is that when you do, it will relieve anxiety to know that you have enormous opportunities for happiness as a single person. And that there are many guys out there in your same situation.

There can be 2-3 times in life you'll meet a partner where there is something magnetic between you. Within minutes you feel "compatible" for mutual reproduction.

Sadly, many times people end up being married to people in a forced way where things line up on paper, but there were no sincere primal instincts to ever be together in the first place.

mgtowdaddy · 2020-08-01T19:14:17+00:00

Well, you better find something that interests you. Not for the girls, for yourself.

On the topic of being wanted: yeah you know how great it is to live with a “wife” who has 0 interest in you? Check /r/deadbedrooms. Most guys end up there.

Yes, we are wired to be wanted. But women don’t reqlly want us, they want whatever comes with us (money, status, safety,...). Want to be loved? Get a dog!

Also, stop watching porn. Oh yes I know you do.

GoodMan_Gone · 2020-08-01T18:38:17+00:00

So what? Not having ambition is not a crime, OP. Do(n't) do whatever the fuck you feel good about. Let other people crawl in their filth with their opinion about you.

Something_Chronical · 2020-08-01T18:27:25+00:00

Get in shape (pick an exercise that you enjoy doing. You don't HAVE to go to the gym), get a skill, and that's a good way to get better with women.

Once you start dealing with women, then you honestly get burned out.

smgunsftw · 2020-08-01T20:47:16+00:00

Rethink your perspective: Would you rather be wanted as a tool to serve a woman's narcisstic desires? Or remain "unwanted" by keeping your autonomy and being in charge of your own decisions?

Don't get me wrong, self-improvement is a virtue. But don't attach your sense of accomplishment to female validation, that's a sure sign of a beta male mentality.

Female validation is probably the worst metric to your overall success in life, just look at the amount of single mothers that validated deadbeat fathers or domestic abusers. Female validation is based purely on your utility to her narcisstic desires, whether it means you have the financial means to provide for her, the physical attributes to produce physically desirable offspring, or a mentality/thought process that she wants for her children as well.

Not just that, female validation is extremely flimsy and circumstantial. The majority of a woman's decisions are influenced by her emotions and hormones, not logic, morals, or reasoning. What she might have validated you for yesterday, might become a point of contention today. For example, a self-sufficient and free thinking man might seem respectable and strong to her before being married, but after marriage, she begins viewing him as a stubborn obstacle that refuses to bow to her wishes and commands.

Women don't know what they want, and it's impossible for you to become what they want. Stop chasing female validation and start chasing self-fulfilment. This could mean finding a hobby, education, or just chatting with older people to gain a greater prospective for life.

Vobat · 2020-08-01T18:29:18+00:00

If you really want love the you need to love yourself first. This means taking care of yourself and pushing to improve. But the problem is once you get this you will realise external love is not worth it.

IH8H0es · 2020-08-01T19:40:52+00:00

This is the problem with mainstream ideology. The thought process is the man has to feel wanted, work miserably, and serve in order to gain self-worth.

It's all in your head man. Take it from somebody who got cheated on a few months ago. It ain't fucking worth it. Find your own happiness in solitude. That way you can figure out who you really are.

Encrypted587 · 2020-08-01T19:34:51+00:00

Women will only want you for what you can provide for them. Does female attention still sound desirable ?

Ocjab · 2020-08-01T21:33:45+00:00

You think a girl wants a man?

Yea for the status of the man, but never for you, brother.

They don't give a fuck about the actual man.

The reason why so many men are struggling with loneliness is because this is a lie pumped into us from women. Your mother/media/girls all projected their stupid ass neediness onto you when you were younger. They all wanted to feel needed, because women are the social creatures because that is their entire universe. We are men, we do not need women.

The same idea with, wanting someone for their personality and not for their looks. Is another projection they did. THEY want you to like them for their personality and NOT for their looks. This way they can be ugly fat asses and still get the top 10%.

Toasty_Nuggetz · 2020-08-01T22:44:22+00:00

I worked hard my whole life and did everything i was supposed to do. Got an advanced degree, great career and a high income. Worked out constantly and stayed in great shape, countless other things. My many accomplishments really made no difference at all.

The truth is, there is no good woman out there waiting for you, and it doesn't matter how hard you work or how hard you try. You'll never find one, and you were never going to. It's not your fault, it doesn't mean you were a bad person or anything like that. There simply aren't very many of them out there, and it's only getting worse every day. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just adapt, and learn to get by without them.

TooAwareToCare · 2020-08-01T22:33:09+00:00

Can I just say all the girls that (thankfully atleast) did want me never wanted me for my actual person and it was ultimately hollow/shallow.

Your mind is casting a false projection, the fear of missing out and being unloved is only a fear, not a truth

Also, If you feel you need to be in a relationship for the sake of it and to have experiences, by god man do it.

Use your head though and not your dick, don’t corner and trap yourself witch catching feelings and mixing signals

It’s okay to play the game, it’s a damned shame to play yourself though like a lot of guys who should he single

unaccompaniedsenior · 2020-08-01T19:08:03+00:00

When I turned 25, my then-98-year-old-ever-the-optimist grandma assured me that if I lived long enough, I might fuck up as many times as she did. There's still time for you, grasshopper.

Returnofthemack3 · 2020-08-01T23:57:18+00:00

Your problems stem from not having achieved anything in your life, not from women. Hit the gym, get a job, make some friends, go to school, or do anything. You gotta take the first step

JCMN_01 · 2020-08-01T22:23:07+00:00

I've had one girl show interest in me my entire life and she turned out to be crazy. Hey, if I'm off their radar, all the better.

nosoupforyou · 2020-08-01T22:29:14+00:00

It's not that we don't have any interest in women. It's that many of us don't want a relationship with one. Some of us don't have any interest in them at all. The price isn't worth it.

-Solitude-- · 2020-08-01T23:47:31+00:00

I find it helps to specifically acknowledge the times when I’m happy being on my own. I get lonely — lots of guys do — but recognizing that that feeling is fleeting, and that I am more than capable of enjoying myself despite it, tends to help quite a lot. Another thing to remember, though, is that there isn’t really a viable alternative to being without a woman. There’s a good reason why you’re here, and why all of us are here. There’s so much to lose going into a relationship, and all you gain in return is temporary (and usually pretty shitty) companionship from someone who will never love you back. Especially if you were invisible throughout high school, it’s likely enough that any girl who might be “interested” in you now would be interested in using you rather than actually being with you.

With that said, there are other forms of companionship that are reasonably obtainable. Normal friendships between men are a great way to dispel loneliness. Even if it’s friends online that you game with and never actually meet in-person, it definitely helps. Getting a dog or a cat could also work. Dogs are very loyal, and honestly much better at companionship than most women are. Cats will give you plenty of space, but will be there for you when you need someone. Alternatively, finding a good hobby can be a great way to take your mind off of things.

mgtowmale · 2020-08-02T01:16:37+00:00

I’m 23 and have never done anything with my life. All through school I was pretty much a looser and didn’t have any friends. After school I just sort of shelled up and just didn’t do anything. With never having done anything and no motivation to and never having anyone have any interest in me Iv had very negative thoughts over the years.

I fully believe that anyone can have moderate success with women - barring physical deformity. I myself am 5'5, bad teeth, and wear glasses, receding hairline, and certainly not handsome... yet with effort and practice, I had way more success than I ever thought possible. Even Casanova did not consider himself attractive; but he says he had a way of talking that always compelled interest in his favour. Throughout history there are romantically-successful unattractive men, and my mind often goes back to a white-haired 70-something year old ex-sailor I met, with missing teeth and a broken rib, who competed with me for the affection of a 23 year old Austrian biker chick... and he got her.

The ball is in your court. You can motivate yourself, or not.

After having gone through what I have, I am fine giving up women. I miss being with them, in a hypothetical way. When I remember the reality of spending much time with women - the yearning to get away from them and have some time alone - I feel comforted with my MGTOW monk choice. Would I feel this way if I hadn't had any success? Probably not. In the same way I'm glad I explored the world, and now feel happy staying in one place. My curiosity is satisfied. I know for sure whether the grass is greener.

KING_CPB · 2020-08-02T02:35:17+00:00

Trust me. Just work on yourself only. Spend all your money and time for you only. Once you're the best version of yourself, you can decide to date a girl or just hire an escort time to time. Trust us. There are too many damaged people out there. You're not losing anything. You have all the time just for yourself. Remember one thing. Never commit & never provide. That's all you need to remember.

DominicanFury · 2020-08-01T21:51:14+00:00

My friend who is married has been struggling because his girl don't want to give him no play and he was masturbating like everyday. I told him to get off that shit and start doing more productive stuff like working out. He pretty much stopped asking and now she wants more sex >.>

Freefrombitches123 · 2020-08-01T23:42:22+00:00

If you worked out and got a job then some chick would be down but you really arn't missing out on much. Try things out, sports, games development, could be anything. As a mgtow you have time to really figure out what it is you want to pursue. I recommend TFM's (turd flinging monkeys) book. 13 rules to not be a fucking cuck. You can also find his chanel on Bitchute.

22134484 · 2020-08-02T01:05:31+00:00

Happiness does truly come from within. If you need someone else to supply it to you, you are on a path to failure.

Care about yourself first. Are you fat? Get lifting and eating better. Are you uneducated? Learn to code. Are you poor? Start budgeting for the first time in your life. Are you unhappy? Meditate on why that is.

Money and women dont make everyone happy, and many people think it will. You need to find what your baseline is for happiness, and build it from there

TripleMaxor2 · 2020-08-02T03:57:36+00:00

You can check these guys out r/incelswithouthate Theyre nice kids,not extremists or anything. Being involuntarily celebate is not abnormal in the age of materialistic greedy women of today.

joeshmo7777 · 2020-08-02T04:16:08+00:00

A blessing in disguise

alishart · 2020-08-01T18:14:35+00:00

You don't do anything? Nothing just for fun or anything that brings you Joy?

Airman07 · 2020-08-01T21:03:12+00:00

Make yourself interesting.

MechaMatrix · 2020-08-02T00:22:06+00:00

I was in a similar position as you. I literally had no female attention until 27/28. I was fat, played video games and watched porn (still do). Really had no motivation. However, I did what society told me to do, just kind of going through the motions you know...like school, secondary education, got a degree, than a good paying decent job. Started working out more etc. I still had friends but they were "online" friends from gaming. My life in general was pretty much secluded. Apart from work, my hobbies were going to gym and playing video games. I would travel every now again by myself and sometimes my family because I like history so I would like going to historical sites.

As I grew older more and more women came out of the woodwork to want to date me. Than I went through the dating process, got my heart broken several times and eventually found MGTOW.

I than realized everything about the wall and how in reality they were just looking for a beta to support them but really wanted an alpha. Right now at your age all those females are out chasing alphas/chads and tyrones.

How come I didn't get any female attention when I was younger in school? Its probably cause of that.

Look your 23, thats still young!!! If you do what society tells you, (Be Ambitious, Successful, working out, becoming more stylish and sociable) I'm sure you'll start attracting the women as you age. And maybe this is something you should do so you can get your own first hand experience. It is valuable experience.

But i'm 33 now, I've been single my whole life. Going through that whole process gave me much needed wisdom. Im at a point where I don't care what society thinks of me and do what I want to do. And never having a girlfriend or a wife or a SO is not even close on my radar. Initially it really bugged me, but over time you think less and less about it. Your labido starts going down and you pursue activities that you enjoy. Mind you, I'm at a point in my life where if I truly wanted girlfriend I could have it the next day. MGTOW doesn't lie when we say female attention is over rated.

However I think its important to have some sort of social connection. Whether it be to communication on this forum, through friends online or through local hobbies and clubs. Also a goal that you want to strive for. If wanting a girlfriend and checking that box off from your life experience bucket is something you want, work towards it, you have all the information of MGTOW which I didn't have until I was older and can better walk that path.

Hope that helps, Cheers

Jakesteroz · 2020-08-02T01:06:26+00:00

I honestly don't know what to tell you my dude. It's easy for all these other MGTOWs to tell you that when they experienced the bitter fruit but they EXPERIENCED it. Doesn't matter if it was a relationship or marriage. They will tell you all kinds of copes for this.

IMO the reality is that if you cope with it then it will always sit somewhere in the back of your mind not experiencing the relationship, the person that even in the beginning or for some time desires you, likes you, cares and is nice to you and exclusively has sex with you which is a great intimate experience especially when you connect... not detached sex which is pretty much masturbation with another body... You can still achieve it having a relationship while not having to cohabitate or get married.

To do this develop hobbies and interests. Go out there even solo, go for jogging, workout at the gym or at home, learn instrument, go to concerts, video games venues, business venues, get certificates, more education, work experience in different fields if you need to, go hiking, travel and explore other cities or countries, try new food in restaurants, go to some party, club and dance and be goofy etc etc some friends can come naturally, try having relaxing, laid back conversations with people and friends will come naturally. Don't feel hesitation to ask them to do something together. Also If you have any addictions, smoking weed, cigarettes, video games, fapping, gambling, anything. Fight it with all your might. Streaks of small wins will boost your confidence big fucking time. Whenever you fail at some step or goal don't lay down too long and try it again even when your inner doomer gets into your head. You can then put yourself out there on some dating apps or ask chicks you meet doing things of your interests to hang out and see how it goes.

Even if at the end you will have couple bad relationships or weird encounters or anything like that you can still push it ON and OFF whenever you want. Who knows!? Maybe you will meet a great woman who likes you and accepts your ups and downs and you get along really well then fuck what everybody else says ANYWHERE in blue pill, red pill or MGTOW world. Don't get into this mentality of LIVING THOUGH OTHERS EYES AT ALL, YOU WILL FUCKING REGRET IT (ex. oh no I'm not going to talk to this woman or be with her because I've read this and that on MGTOW reddit or listened to some red pill content on youtube about trying to be another fake person and holding frame for worthless women (bad bitches, low morals etc) - this is very limiting your own social skills, connections, networking, experiences good or bad and you will still feel like a loser not moving anywhere, have no stories or memories AT ALL and still maybe jealous of others AT LEAST EXPERIENCING IT ON THEIR OWN). Still remember to not to get married or cohabitate at least until common law sets in. Don't get as paranoid as other guys about sexual accusations etc. Just be cautious of crazy or drunk women and don't fuck with women at work.

It's hard not to simp especially if you had no relationships before. Set boundaries, don't be afraid of your wants and desires and letting know women about it and stick to your guns whenever someone tries to walk over you, men or women. She a manipulative bitch? Walk away. She reciprocates in a good way? Keep going. It's all about reward and punishment for good or bad behavior. Works on animals and work on humans too.

Stalwart88 · 2020-08-02T01:39:42+00:00

Think about it this way - if every woman you meet doesn't consider you attractive - would you trust a woman that claims otherwise? Basic stats

RedPillMissionary · 2020-08-02T01:47:13+00:00

You will always struggle with the feeling of never being wanted, until you build up a group of good friends, or fix your relationships with your relatives, siblings, or cousins. American society introduced this “best friend spouse” pipedream and it failed. We need our male relatives more.

StarchRunner · 2020-08-02T01:50:10+00:00

Go to the red pill and sew your wild oats.

I was superfat and shy until 22, and was in the same boat until after college. Took a 5 years to lose it and get in shape. Started pulling women as all my friends were settling down and I hated them for it. Made proving myself my thing for a long while.

It’s been almost 18 years, had my fill, still game but it’s not my focus just pure opportunity. Don’t envy my married (and mostly divorced) friends. I’m free, they’re chained down.

FOMO is great if it motivates you to improve but most times it blocks people’s brains and have them climb up on some utopian bandwagon that will be only let them down. No matter our situation, it’s human to want more or different.

glass_tumbler · 2020-08-02T03:34:45+00:00

You've got to learn to appreciate yourself. and you've got to make moves to make yourself appreciate yourself to show that you love yourself. Like washing the dishes. Making sure your dishes are clean show you that you were taking time for yourself to have a clean space. Simple things like that add up over time.

It's often hard to conceptualize things like this because the media over sexualizes society and places too much importance on wealth as an indication of worth.

Self-worth is greater than the sum of how much money is in your bank account, how many women want to date you, and how your boss judges the work you do.

Put the work in on yourself for yourself, learn to love who you are by becoming the person you want to become. Set goals and accomplish them. Write those goals out and check them off the list as you accomplish them. That's how you build personal wealth and develop confidence.

Don't seek validation from some random chick. Create your own validation by setting your own goals and succeeding.

And very important to note -- the goal shouldn't be validation from others. That is a fruitless pursuit. The sooner you understand and accept this, the better off you will be.

Go your own way.

ChocolateNo · 2020-08-02T05:42:25+00:00

Women don't really want anyone, because they are eternally wanted for decades of their life.

Im 6'4", decently good looking, make good money, ride motorcycles and have a cool truck, and have a large penis. Women still dont really WANT me. They still get weird and lie to play the field. Women are never satisfied, which means they never really want any one particular person for long if at all.

usnraptor · 2020-08-02T05:52:25+00:00

When you dig yourself out of loserdom, a woman will be there waiting for you; so she can drag you back down taking everything you have.

Start listening to Tom Leykis on YouTube now.

alexanderthegroovy · 2020-08-02T06:37:21+00:00

Start lifting weights. You're stuck in your own head.

goldenmic908909 · 2020-08-02T08:49:46+00:00

Grew up being a fat kid that no one cared about. Started turning my life around during college and had girls start talking and offering me pussy.

Realized then and there that females are pretty fucked up.

skiller_wiz · 2020-08-03T05:05:21+00:00

I was in your shoes man. It comes back time to time but I'm more resilient to it. Women will never nor shall be the prize. The only thing women bring to the table is: a hole. Nothing more. Sadly, some men (simps) put up with women to access to this hole. And plus women have these santa cucklist of demands. For what? A Hole? No thank you - my peace of mind is worth 100x more than I see these dudes dealing with women.

2020-08-01T22:27:08+00:00

Go watch Coach Greg Adams on Youtube.

CT1836Texan · 2020-08-02T01:47:20+00:00

I’m 21, feel the same man.

Harlen21 · 2020-08-02T03:45:28+00:00

I know the feeling for the longest time I was in your place always ignored at school, even use to have bouts of depression; Eventually I manage to find something to keep me going, but it was quite the struggle to get here.

So keep going I'm sure you will find something meaningful.

KUL-DANK · 2020-08-02T04:26:23+00:00

relationships arent the end of your life bro

i had a few women/girls going for me even when they were in relationships

i denied all of them

honor before hoes

rickiemg · 2020-08-02T06:24:58+00:00

Brother, you need not achieve big things in life to feel valuable. Being born and surviving itself is a big success. Look after yourself well. Value yourself. Have certain discipline in life which keeps the mind occupied day to day.

Since16 · 2020-08-02T13:44:57+00:00

Your about 5 years away from starting to get attention from them. Hopefully you have seen enough between now and then to see thru it as not genuine. Otherwise your going to have a few kids with and b the debt slave of the first girl who thinks you look 30. I know they look good and its nice to get affection from them but they are just going to use it against you.

gmanex · 2020-08-02T16:54:04+00:00

Being wanted means she's subconsciously exploiting and benefiting of you in some way

hunrein · 2020-08-02T23:29:34+00:00

I didn't kiss a girl until 21 and didn't get laid until I was 23 even though I am 6'4''. I focused on an engineering degree with the idea that I would hold out for a better woman when I had something more to offer.

However, as you get older you enjoy your own company more and more. No one has their shit together at your age, but if you do in the future just remember not to make a lifetime commitment to something you might not enjoy in the future. You may date, or not, that is up to you, but at the moment pour that energy into skills that will lead to a more stable financial situation in the future. This is doubly important because of the upcoming COVID depression.

Also, if we are entering a depression then having money will get you plenty in the future. You seem like a smart person so look at it this way. If you have $5000 should you invest it and have $5000 in investments or buy a $10000 home entertainment system and be $5000 in debt. At 23 time and energy are your assets, use them wisely.

Also keep in mind the average age of the women on the front cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Editions over the years was 23 with a low of 18 and a high of 28. The average age of People Magazines Sexiest Man Alive over the years was 37 with a low of 29 and a high of 57 (Sean Connery). Your situation is typical for your age and it is typical for it to change over time as well.

Title	Never had a girlfriend or even a girl interested in me and I struggle with the feeling of never being wanted.
Author	hsacc972
Upvotes	123
Comments	74
Date	August 1, 2020 6:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/i1wls6/never_had_a_girlfriend_or_even_a_girl_interested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/never-had-a-girlfriend-or-even-a-girl-interested.722177 https://theredarchive.com/post/722177

Comments