Why does it traumatize men so deeply when we don’t say 100% nice things about them?

JuddHerpatow · 2019-11-06T21:22:43+00:00

To quote Lizzo, "Why men great till they get to be great?", men get assigned superiority before actually doing something worthy of the credit. So, when you don't lockstep with them, they can't handle it. But, they're weak and gushy inside. They rarely get tested aside from the occasional bar fight.

Case in point. My father was physically abusive to my mother. She got tired of it (who wants a cracked rib?) and chased him with a hammer and he ran. She said, "After that, I knew he was a coward."

Side note: A male friend told me recently that "men don't like confrontation from women." Well, guess who needs confrontation the most?

Game on, motherfuckers.

understatedalways · 2019-11-06T21:21:29+00:00

One time my ex told me I looked good, so I said “yeah, I always look good.” He said, “no you don’t.” Instantly, I said “Oh really? When?” He got a surprised Pikachu face and struggled to figure out what to say, then told me I was crazy for being offended since what he said was just a joke. So, I said “You could stand to lose 15 pounds and you’re going grey. I wouldn’t be talking.” That same guy who told me I shouldn’t be upset got insanely angry and freaked out, screaming and acting like a child, then stormed off. I laughed at him.

brainsandb00bs · 2019-11-06T21:19:03+00:00

For the same reason spoiled rich kids act out when someone finally tells them No.

They are used to living in a world that told them they were the stronger, more logical gender. They could be anything they wanted to be their entire lives. There was never a time where a man couldn’t logically say he could be the next president. Women still haven’t broken that glass ceiling, amongst others. They grew up seeing messages in the media that built them up while we were being torn down.

So when men are brought back down to earth and reminded that they aren’t special, it fucks with their heads. The cognitive dissonance is too much for them to handle.

CSQUITO · 2019-11-06T21:03:16+00:00

They are extremely emotional and sensitive, but preach about women being too emotional 😂

ino_y · 2019-11-06T21:20:27+00:00

They're on the eternal search for NewMummy, and once we don't coddle and pander to them, they're enraged they wasted 5 minutes.

olivetree08 · 2019-11-07T01:20:58+00:00

Me: sitting on a park bench. Him: Look at your fine ass me. Me: don’t talk to me that way Him: fuck you I was just being nice! You’re a dog anyway! ......This on repeat my whole adult female life.

TheOGJammies · 2019-11-06T20:59:01+00:00

Because men are mentally feeble.

extraacct1234 · 2019-11-06T22:02:34+00:00

Because we are the ones who inflate their ego, but were also the ones who hurt their ego. We have a lot of power.

hoIds_up_spork · 2019-11-06T21:14:34+00:00

because the whole world caters to men so when someone doesn't, it's seen as a personal insult/attack.

ino_y · 2019-11-06T21:04:36+00:00

He’s like well “how was I at the party” and I go on to explain he was a bit over the top and seemed like he was forcing his perspective on people. “Why not be a little more subtle with your opinions?” His response is that he’s around too many insecure people, and when he’s around the “right” people, they’ll understand him and not find it harsh. He has witnessed me grow through insecurities, yet feels the need to mention them and how it doesn’t make me a qualified source to provide an opinion from him.

It’s like he takes my understanding of how I hurt others (based off my insecurities) and willingness to improve as a sign of me being a unqualified perspective.

ipulloffblack2 · 2019-11-07T00:01:01+00:00

My ex and I were hanging out, drinking and talking. Like we usually did. We always talked about everything for hours. It was great, but I had a feeling he was hyper sensitive to his image the entirety of our relationship. So when he asked me, in a joking way, if he ever embarrassed me. I saw a golden opportunity to see if my theory was true. I said, “yes, once or twice. Nothing serious or worth mentioning.” Which was true. Girl, you could see the smoke coming out of his ears. He freaked out and claimed a bunch of shit that wasn’t true. Said we had a bad relationship and I should go find someone who doesn’t embarrass me. I was annoyed he freaked out so hard as he had no problem telling me when I did something minor to upset him. The next morning he was so strange. He was confused as to why he reacted so harshly over something so minor. He even said how he ruined our night because we were having a good time and in good fun. I’m glad he apologized and tried to change for the better. We broke up over a big deal breaker two months later.

CSQUITO · 2019-11-07T03:21:51+00:00

Fragile egos - external self worth, societal narcissism

Milobear27 · 2019-11-07T01:00:50+00:00

Yes! I had this exact problem. Here’s a little export from a book I read because it spoke to my exact situation

Title	Why does it traumatize men so deeply when we don’t say 100% nice things about them?
Author	venus-scorpio-mars
Upvotes	59
Comments	32
Date	November 6, 2019 8:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dslzru/why_does_it_traumatize_men_so_deeply_when_we_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-does-it-traumatize-men-so-deeply-when-we-dont.724204 https://theredarchive.com/post/724204

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