Asking Or Telling Your Captain

teaandtalk · 2017-06-20T03:38:40+00:00

RPW 101, don't make big decisions without talking to your partner. This shouldn't be news to anyone.

Even if 'some people argue that it's controlling', those people aren't the sort whose opinions you should listen to.

Kara_El · 2017-06-20T12:34:07+00:00

Even if you don't subscribe to a traditional Head of Household model, I don't know how you can justify making a big decision such as this without talking to your spouse. Even if your finances aren't joint, your time is, and a trip such as this would take a pretty big chunk of it. I hope the couple in question doesn't have kids and this man isn't parenting solo for a week, without say.

I don't always ask about the small things, like an upcoming girls night, honestly. I tell my husband my plans and he's comfortable reminding me that that's the weekend we're going to see his parents or something. Again, without children, one evening without me isn't upsetting. In fact, it means he can play his video games without interruption, so he ends up looking forward to it as much as I do. More than one evening/a few hours or several evenings, however, are a discussion.

GuestQuest · 2017-06-20T21:44:14+00:00

The only time 'telling' should happen when it comes to travelling is work (mandatory), family medical emergencies and possibly traditional gatherings. Some families have certain events every year, so it's just a matter of reminding your husband that you'll be gone as the date approaches. Even when it comes to family emergencies though, it should be a discussion.

isabeavis · 2017-06-20T13:31:13+00:00

This isn't really a TRP issue. It's an issue of basic kindness and consideration. I know of basically zero people in my life who follow TRP or RPW ideologies (most men and women I know would say they are feminists), and no one I know would behave this way with their spouse.

I like to go to Europe once a year in the fall with a friend and my husband likes to take a ski trip in the winter with his friends. Before we plan either of these activities, we consult each other on costs and timing. Out of respect. Because that's how grown ups behave.

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-06-20T23:48:24+00:00

I have to ask to stop at a convenience store. No judgement here.

Kisstafer1 · 2017-06-23T19:20:48+00:00

a good woman asks permission for a decision, a good man gives his woman the opportunity to object his decision

HobbesTheBrave · 2017-06-20T07:51:23+00:00

I actually take the husband's side.

If you're planning to become married, or to stay married, I'd recommend this.

I've seen enough guys dump her, because he noticed that she cared more about what her friends think. If his opinions are secondary to her friends' opinions, why would he keep her?

lukmeg · 2017-06-20T08:40:59+00:00

This is obviously the divide between feminism and TRP. Feminism does not see the man in the relationship as the captain. From there the rest follows.

AlphaWeaboo · 2017-06-23T15:18:47+00:00

"Omg baby you are so controlling why dont you trust me" 24h later

"Omg baby i promise, i was just too drunk and it happened. i won't do it again". Tale as old as time.

gloopgloop22 · 2017-06-26T11:36:50+00:00

How strange. Assuming that it's a pretty short vacation (a month or less), and that I wasn't asking my husband pay for the trip, watch kids while gone, or take over any responsibilities besides feeding the cats, I'd be telling him about the trip rather than asking. If it required him to actually DO something that'd be way different. This isn't like buying a house or taking a new job though, it's a vacation. The reason I wouldn't ask is because something like going to Europe with friends is a right that I personally have. If my hypothetical husband tried to tell me I couldn't go I don't think I'd be married to that individual to begin with. Huge believer in individual freedom and not much for the Captain dynamic. To keep with the boat analogy, I think of a partner as being like a jetski that goes alongside my jetski. If I want to peel off for a bit and double back, that should be cool with him. Just a matter of opinion, I know different people want different things out of a marriage and that's fine.

Title	Asking Or Telling Your Captain
Author	ThatStepfordGal
Upvotes	14
Comments	27
Date	June 20, 2017 2:58 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6ibd60/asking_or_telling_your_captain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/asking-or-telling-your-captain.73003 https://theredarchive.com/post/73003

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