I see a lot of women at my church praising men for the most lack luster "good" things that they do. Like asking consent, not being an asshole, not being a manipulator or a gasslighter. Its gross.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-01-31T04:57:41+00:00

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Fun_Sherbet · 2021-01-31T04:31:01+00:00

This. I think part of the reason I can’t stop thinking about how much I hate my ex, all this time later, is because I had spent so many years of my life as his girlfriend deluding myself that his mostly sweet words with too many shit actions from him were acceptable. I cannot begin to express how much that path ended up hurting me. I gave him way too much credit when he was in actuality a sick, sick individual.

Be brave and test him with the difficult things sooner than later.

sunflowerr23xx · 2021-01-31T04:43:41+00:00

“Damn James finally helped look after the kids!!” Ok so the bare minimum? The absolute bare minimum? Gone are the days I praise men for breathing.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-01-31T07:32:02+00:00

The nurses in neonatal cooing and praising my husband for changing diapers as I recovered from a c-section. Dear excessively grateful, male-directed, groveling weaklings, please stop lowering the bar. Any man who mildly deserves kudos is repelled by the irony of it and any man who laps it up doesn't deserve it.

SwirlyButterfly · 2021-01-31T05:29:55+00:00

Currently dealing with this by my family. I've been dating someone who's done a few questionable behaviors, some that I'm not comfortable with. I'm met by mom and family telling me to "loosen up" and letting me know how it could be worse. I'm finally at the point where I'm setting boundaries and now I'm questioning myself because of my family.

darkshadows2021 · 2021-01-31T05:42:13+00:00

He babysat the kids. No jerk, he watched his own dang kids instead of the tv for once. (Me to my ex in law once upon a time.)

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-01-31T09:04:03+00:00

Reminds me of the book Men are from Mars, women from Venus - we were supossed to praise them for everything.

weekend111 · 2021-01-31T09:26:32+00:00

Some things deserve punishment (positive or negative, more on this later), such as not asking consent.

In psychology terms, think of the words positive and negative as add and subtract rather than good and bad.

Both positive and negative reinforcements are good (positive reinforcement means you add something good, negative reinforcement means you remove something bad)

As well as, both positive and negative punishments are bad. Positive punishment means you add something bad, negative punishment means you remove something good.

Examples: not letting a child having dessert because of bad grades is negative punishment; giving a child a new toy because of good grades is positive reinforcement; letting the child go to bed without doing a boring chore because they’ve done something good is negative reinforcement.

LevelingUpQueen_ · 2021-01-31T09:20:02+00:00

Word! 💯 Gone are the days I used to praise or be content for going to work and keeping the room clean, the bare minimum. The bar is so low.

TokiMarvel · 2021-01-31T15:33:13+00:00

Using the same tone and enthusiasm for him taking out the trash as your pets taking their medication without drama.

ElonsSideBitch · 2021-01-31T06:15:18+00:00

💯

goldiebaby · 2021-02-02T06:38:14+00:00

Religious women have a shockingly low bar for men.

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