Millennial red pilled young woman- DAE understand?

littleshroom · 2018-03-24T03:33:08+00:00

I’m a millennial! (And fellow SoCal girl) And while finding a partner with compatible values hasn’t been a struggle for me, feeling like I don’t fit in with my generation definitely has. I don’t love the attitudes of most twenty somethings but I’ve learned to just be friendly, not get in debates, and “lead by action” if you will. The best way to get people to change their attitudes is to show them the benefits of the changed attitude.

yikezzz77 · 2018-03-24T18:16:35+00:00

Do you think ‘red pilled’ obviously means ‘conservative’ or ‘libertarian?’ My now-fiancée comes from a family of midwestern ‘worker Democrats,’ i.e. people who value workers’ rights, government aid for the less fortunate, and strong families. These are the folks who are ‘purple’ in a presidential election voting map (they’ll swing for the candidate who ‘speaks’ to the working class—B. Clinton back in the day, Trump recently). Nevertheless, my fiancé, like his dad, is still a captain and our relationship follows the general model of him as leader and me as more submissive naturally, because that’s who he is as a man. The point is that strong men who protect and lead their partners/families aren’t just conservative or libertarian, and honestly the many libertarian men I knew in college were insufferable betas who didn’t really get involved with women. So be open to more varieties of men.

Anyway, finding a captain on campus: men on sports teams (my boyfriend was a literal captain—I’m not trying to brag, but this was an important sign for me); religious communities (orthodox Jews, Catholics, and some evangelicals tend to be less turned off of finding a serious partner and having kids); clubs involving leadership (pre-law, toast masters, maybe your colleges’ political groups—if you’re STEM, join STEM groups and notice the leaders). It’s harder to find a ‘traditional’ dating relationship in college. It’s pretty abnormal to have a guy ask you to dinner at a restaurant. If he takes you to coffee, ice cream, or any kind of meal (and clarifies that it’s a date in some way), and will persist in pursuing you if you refuse to have sex with him early on, he’s worth a look. Dating apps can be insufferable, but at least the give men a platform to initiate contact.

Frankly, though: especially in early college, a lot of the alpha males who will make good captains later are busy spinning plates.

HobbesTheBrave · 2018-03-24T03:34:12+00:00

Why would a man take you to dinner? What have you done to earn that offered good conversation? Been pleasant to be around? Maybe split half the bill? Guys aren't growing up with a 1950s mentality anymore. They have expectations of women especially from your generation seeing mommy divorce daddy leaves a sour taste in their mouths. You have to prove yourself and be worth commitment. I asked my husband out, I was worth his time. It worked out. Stop using outdated rules in 2018.

NewMindRedPill · 2018-03-24T04:34:54+00:00

I am female, millennial (25), red pill, and found my partner.

There are red pill men but you need to notice the trends. Usually they will show it right away, whether or not they are respectful towards you, others, and themselves (a man acting ridiculous and getting wasted isn't respecting his reputation nor his body for example.) And if they're confident without being arrogant and seem like an actual adult.

Red Pill men, from what I've seen, tend to be very active mentally and/or physically. Example: My bf was a college athlete and excelled in his engineering degree and now is constantly being promoted. I met him at a speech and leadership club. He joined many groups that encouraged personal growth and development.

You still need to do some work to get a guy to approach you tbh. Smiling a lot and being friendly with everyone makes you seem easier to approach. If there is a certain guy you like do what I did, ask questions! Like when I joined the club I had real questions about the process and people's names, etc. It made me seem even more friendly! He wasn't the only one interested in me - other guys were approaching me in the club. There was another girl, absolutely gorgeous girl, who attended some of our meetings but not one guy approached her. Sure they looked at her, but she seemed cold and distant and she wasn't starting conversations with anyone.

Ivabighairy1 · 2018-03-24T11:36:47+00:00

She's posted something like this before, i'm pretty sure of it. In short, If you are a conservative and live in a conservative area and you can't find anyone I'll give you a hint ... it's not them.

[deleted] · 2018-03-24T10:08:45+00:00

25y.o. RP wife here. I met my husband when I was 20 through church, but at the time I wasn't really looking for a RP man. Not long into the relationship he explained that he would be in charge when we got married. I wasn't so sure of this idea at the time, but it slowly grew on me and my mother had taught me to cook, clean etc. so I was well prepared for it.

rpwpreocupada · 2018-03-24T13:46:52+00:00

Just about all of the men like this that I knew in college was through the Catholic center at my university. People of all denominations were welcome, so if you’re open to religion that could be a good way to meet people. As people mentioned here as well, nowadays it’s rare that a guy will ask a girl out without some encouragement. After interacting/talking with my now fiancé a few times during parties, I messaged him on Facebook saying that it was nice talking to him and then he asked me out. At the very least, giving a man IOI’s like smiling at him or initiating conversation seems to go a long way without being too dominant!

asteadyheart · 2018-03-24T16:14:04+00:00

I'm a red pill millennial (on the older end, sure) but I didn't have too much trouble finding a red pill liberal man in California (in one of the most liberal and, in my view, backwards parts of the state).

If you want to find someone conservative and aren't religious, then you should join a young Republicans club or the libertarian club.

If you are religious then finding a church with a large number of young men and women is your best bet.

Keep in mind that you are 22. For our generation, in California at least, it's not normal for a 22 to be married and to be a SAHW/SAHM. Many young men want to find a woman who is capable of taking care of themselves financially.

Unless you find a very old school person (who will probably be significantly older than you) then you need to focus on other things instead of finding a man. This means know what you want to do after college and preparing for some sort of a job or career.

Men want a partner. While many of our skills are undervalued until the right man comes along, you need to be the well-rounded woman before they will consider investing their time and efforts.

Edit: also, not to be overly critical of my state, but Kern County doesn't have much going on. An eventual move to a more populated county will probably result in a much easier time.

[deleted] · 2018-03-27T07:21:39+00:00

I don't hate my generation, but do often feel isolated, because I have to choose my words even with my closest friends, living as I do in a large metropolitan area. Add also that, while conservative, I am not religious - and that further narrows the field.

However, this helped me with dating, ironically, because there were so few with my set of preferences for a non-religious, right-of-center guy such as my husband to date.

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-03-27T07:32:43+00:00

With regards to dating, I think the best you will do, especially with younger 20s guys, is to find good raw material - or semi-polished by an obliging high school girlfriend, who treated him well and taught him to treat her well in return. By this I mean someone of good character, honest, not a "dark triad" type of guy, is employable, etc. Specifics evolve as you work out the kinks of your relationship and reveal each other's preferences (e.g., flowers).

But this has always been the case since time immemorial. What exacerbates the state of affairs today is: 1) fewer women put in the effort of teaching a man their preferences and helping him be his best self, and instead they balk at the work and break it off because of the imperfections; and 2) everyone gets mixed messages - if you expect to be treated well, are you being an entitled bitch? if they engage in chivalry, are they being sexist? etc.

Also, you may want to date a bit older than your age; my and my friends' experience seems to be that men's "I want kids" switch flips at around 30, so if you want kids in the next few years, date guys who are mid- to upper-20s.

pinkdrawings · 2018-03-31T07:39:25+00:00

Hi!

do you hate your generation?

No lol.

Do you hate that attitudes are changing towards marriage and having children?

It isn't ideal, but I also have no interest in controlling what other people do. Why would I hate an entire generation of people because they're doing something I disagree with?

That seems insane. The world doesn't revolve around me.

Even if I believe I am right.

It sucks, but dating is a NUMBER GAME.

Lets say there are 100 men you're interested in. Lets say 40 of them are taken. So that leaves you with 60 men. Lets say 30 of them don't fit basic standards (education, looks, whatever). So now you go after the ones that do.

Go on dates. Go on A LOT OF DATES. You're not going to find a man that you like and suits you by sitting around.

Smile and seem open to conversation. Say YES when hanging out with your conservative friends more - go to things you may usually say no to. Why? Because you may meet OTHER PEOPLE through them.

Go to places you think the men you're interested in would hang out.

Try not to sit on your phone or stare on your phone the entire time you're out and about. I know it can feel intimidating to just stand there so you look at your phone, but it can make it weird to approach you.

How does one attract a conservative or right leaning man?

Look at meetup. Find clubs and things for right-leaning people. Find things that right-leaning people would be more likely to go to.

I do get a lot of stares, but no one ever approaches.

Make eye contact back & smile. Maybe even give a small wave. That is a HUGE signal you're open to conversation.

md8716 · 2018-03-31T23:08:59+00:00

Go hang around 29 Palms or Camp Pendleton -- you'll find a conservative dude pretty damn quick.

MissNietzsche · 2018-03-24T11:38:35+00:00

You sound a bit entitled tbh

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-03-24T13:45:24+00:00

You're in biology, so just talk to guys in your class. Join a study group. Join any group.

If you're more worried about the conservative side than the alpha side, I'd suggest joining a church.

littleshroom · 2018-03-24T20:20:48+00:00

As a couple we both are liberal as hell and both basically live the rp lifestyle. He does it unknowingly, but he's Russian and they are very traditional in how they set up their families. I'm fine with it. I'm 26 and a SAHM. We met in high school and I snatched him, because I felt like he has a lot of potential and he has air of authority. It made me feel safe. To be honest, my first reaction was that I found him extremely attractive. His whole being made me want to submit to him and it was very strange, I had never felt that before. But all in all it was never this picture perfect as it is now. We went through a lot, trying and growing, building our family and changing. Sometimes reading this sub it may seem like all the good men have always been great. Not really. If you want a general, marry a lieutenant - that's what they say. Don't get discouraged by modern dating. Go on dates and see what they do. Many guys now are afraid of showing leadership. You have to give it time and you have to follow your heart. Even if he is not picture perfect, sometimes there is more than meets the eye.

[deleted] · 2018-03-26T23:44:16+00:00

I would try some other dating apps and sites. At least when I was single, plenty of fish had a reputation as being only for hookups. When you're out in public, smile a lot and hold eye contact for a few extra seconds with guys you see across the room at restaurants, bars, etc. Seeming happy and interested will get you more approaches than anything else.

BooksAndCatsAnd · 2018-03-27T21:56:10+00:00

Hi, red pilled married millennial (23) living in a very blue (politically and bp) large city here.

More than RP/BP, after a skim it seems like you’re really struggling with balancing warmth/competence, connecting with others (knowing yourself well enough to socialize and build deep bonds with appropriate groups) and portraying yourself in a diplomatic/friendly way.

There are RP people all over this world, but until you resolve the above issues you’re unlikely to find them.

Take a weekend, journal out who you are, what you believe in, your talents/weaknesses, interests/dislikes. Like a giant pro/con list of yourself. Then, build a routine for your life- self care, cooking, shopping, beauty, work, fitness, sleep, social time, chill time, self improvement, etc. The last step is to follow through on that, which means putting yourself out there in a context that matches to you. Volunteering & hobby groups can be a great start to socializing with a different group than you may ordinarily find. Just keep taking a little step forward every day and you will change your life.

Title	Millennial red pilled young woman- DAE understand?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	80
Date	March 23, 2018 11:55 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/86pbhe/millennial_red_pilled_young_woman_dae_understand/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/millennial-red-pilled-young-woman-dae-understand.74482 https://theredarchive.com/post/74482

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