I have been in a (retrospectively) emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship with a man 16 years my senior for the past few years. The "relationship" started when I was just 22 and believed his attention made me special/valuable. I have known for a long time that this was not healthy for me, but between his gaslighting and manipulative tactics, and my own belief that he was not only worth my time but the best I could possibly do, I stayed. He insisted I keep the relationship a secret, so I went through it all with no support or normal means of reflection. I felt utterly isolated and miserable. I lost sleep, I lost weight, and I began to resemble a shell of my former self because I gave him the power to take my value away from me.

Today, after years of emotional abuse and neglect, and after months of reading the posts made here by you wonderful people, I was able to cut it off. I won't lie, it really hurts right now, but I know that a lot of what I'm feeling is what he wants me to feel. I want to sincerely thank you all for your wisdom and strength —I'm not sure I would have been able to do it without this community.

If there is anyone reading this who is where I was, please leave him. Breaking yourself down to build someone else up isn't love and it isn't worth it. Godspeed, ladies.