Men who lurk here will frequently tell you that "not all men" are liars, cheaters, and abusers.

They aren't wrong. And that's great news! For many of us, our search for a HVM who actually loves and values us will not be fruitless.

However, these same men who lurk and message FDS users will also insist on ignoring/accepting the red flags that tend to precede abuse and cheating. Because they're "just small things" and you shouldn't throw away a whole relationship over one mistake. You see, relationships are like a court of law. You need due process to confront your partner or end a relationship. Simply being unhappy isn't good enough - at least not for you.

They'll also tell users we aren't deserving of HVM, so just settle for the scraps we're thrown. Which, even if every one of the 174k users of this subreddit were the basement-dwelling trolls they're imagining us to be, is an awfully cruel thing to say. (Seriously, what kind of man tells a woman they deserve to be used and abused?)

They'll also insist that there's nothing wrong with the LV behaviors they exhibit. Neglecting you and the house is a sign of depression and lack of communication on your part. How was he supposed to know playing video games on the couch for three days straight was wrong? How did you expect him to find your clit without a map and flashing neon signs? You know, it's emotional abuse to tell him he can't have midnight conversations with his female friend who sends him bikini pictures and calls him baby with multiple heart emojis.

Those all sound like excuses. You know why these guys insist on making excuses for these behaviors, right? Because they're low value.

Luckily for you, not all men are like this! So we don't have to settle! (Not that we did before.) We can absolutely pursue anything and everything we want and leave the LVMs in the dust. HVM are out there, these men confirmed it! Whether a HVM will want to be with you is between you and the man you want to date. So don't let these lurkers try and convince you to lower their standards. All they're looking for is a chance they don't deserve.