I've been seeing way too many of these lately. On Instagram, the workplace or even your own social circle. Nowhere is safe. These men are the ones that pretend to be your allies and friends. They have zero respect for your boundaries and try to find ways to push them. Push back. Please ladies follow your gut and your intuition. I'm just going to put a couple of points out here: feel free to add to the list.
- Men who are overly interested in your life. It's probably a tactic to figure out what makes you tick. It will be used against you later, count on it. Grey Rock them.
- Married or not single men who never ever talk about or even mention their wives/GF's or kids are a red flag. I'm sorry, but that's not normal. They're trying to not feel guilty about their shitty intentions so they don't talk about it.
- Men who test your physical boundaries especially when drunk. It can be a clasp on your shoulder or a brush against your waist. If they wouldn't do it when sober. They shouldn't do it when drunk. Tell him to back the fuck off and be firm. Friend or no friend. Your reaction is equally important. A weak apologetic response will guarantee a repeat offence.
- If you ever catch yourself thinking- I don't see why XYZ is best friends with or hangs out with a known misogynistic asshat. I can guarantee you XYZ shares the same views but just hides it better.
-Sometimes you might even catch them siding with you against your sexist boss. This doesn't mean shit. Look at behaviour rather than listening to words.
-There might be instances where they just want you to help you out. By being the overly nice guy pushing all his niceness onto you especially in front of other people. That's just a subtle way of controlling you and keeping tabs all while looking like a hero.
-Lying about things and emotionally pressuring to get you into a specific social situation so he can get closer to you even when you have shown obvious explicit disinterest. It might seem innocent and not a big deal. It is and call them out on it.
- They can't keep the mask up for too long. You will see it flicker if not fall. Be observant.
Lastly standing up for yourself is lonely. It's hard for people, even women to see these men for who they are. Mostly because they don't want to see it. And so be it. Stay safe out there.
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