A little bit about my situation: been married for 4 years, encountered some drinking problems for two of those years. During those two years never laid a hand on my wife, but said some things that I definitely didn't mean. Wife keeps bringing them up, filed for divorce. Cool.

I start gathering assets, getting bank statements that type of thing. Since we don't have children, that won't be an issue. But I sit down with her, and I say something to the "when we get divorced" and she corrects me to "if we get divorced. We can still work through this." I take this as a sign that she wants to do counseling, or work on our relationship. Start to ask her out on a few dates since I moved out, trying to reengage. Out of nowhere she hits me with a " I think I just need time and space alone without any pressure to think things through." And now she has been going back into a withdrawal phase. I'm seeing a lot of push-pull dynamic with her, and it's incredibly frustrating. Any advice? I'm in California, so we have a 6-month mandatory waiting timeframe.