Enjoyment

Brokenbyher2019 · 2020-06-25T22:38:57+00:00

I'm getting closer to the final judge sign off. The one thing I'm soooooo happy about, when I want to leave for a vacation, or event or trip I can leave on my time. Not hers, which was always late... oh the arguments, looking back it was a huge narc move and red flag on her part

NavarreVal · 2020-06-26T03:52:07+00:00

I really enjoyed being able to put something down and finding it exactly where I left it later.

Also, the house was always clean, I got to eat Tacos whenever I wanted, and I could blast my music whenever I felt like it. The TV was always free, the thermostat was set perfectly, always, without complaint.

Oh man. So many good things. It's the little things. ;)

Nitrothacat · 2020-06-26T02:57:45+00:00

Being happy with life, being with a woman I actually respect. Oh god, the clean house. Still cant believe how clean it is all the time now.

jeffrrw · 2020-06-26T13:02:56+00:00

Exercise. She was so incredibly insecure about me exercising and the positive interactions with other people I would get based off of my aesthetics.

When we first got married I was training to join the army and lost a huge amount of weight/ was in amazing shape and when I was turned down due to medical problems in my past, she used that as a way to really get on my case about being in shape instead of supporting me emotionally.

I proceeded to gain back all the weight I had lost and felt even more miserable about myself. Throughout the divorce process, I have been going to a lot of therapy to deal with her DV and my past problems. In doing so, I've since learned to really start loving myself and now want to be better for myself and not some outside source.

I've lost nearly 80 pounds since February and I dont intend on stopping.

So even though my divorce is not final and things keep dragging on, I find myself enjoying life more than I have in a long time.

CerebralAssazin · 2020-06-26T14:25:02+00:00

Less stress, no more of her toxic ass family bleeding into our household.

Never having to wonder where I stand with someone.

Oddly enough, financially more secure even though CS guts me; since now I don’t have to prop her up financially while she works as little as possible.

Not having to feel guilty about doing stuff with friends.

List goes on, long story short; of all the things I regret, divorce isn’t one of them.

Nonamesfound · 2020-06-25T23:44:50+00:00

Not divorced yet... waiting for my lawyer to file the petition.

But my stbxw literally has made every aspect of my harder in every way.

Everything... from the small to the big things.

I’m so ready to start over and gain peace and normalcy again.

Even the little baby steps... getting my own phone line and carrier, taking charge of my bills, insurance,etc. have been huge joys so far

dcpas1 · 2020-06-26T17:55:19+00:00

When she first leftI spent time trying to find positives and felt guilty that I was finding more positive than negative. When about the only negative you can come up with is having someone to come home to to discuss the day, you realize that you are better off.

I love being on time now wherever I go. I love being much more financially stable. And it is very nice having a clean house all the time.

gronk4198 · 2020-06-30T09:12:25+00:00

Total freedom. Its amazing how one can go from being unhappy and depressed to uplifted and hopeful once a black cloud of negativity is removed. As one poster said previously, although I pay support it is a fixed amount and surprisingly I have more control over my money and am saving more than before since she would just spend and spend and spend. Also my relationship with the kids is infinitely better. The downside is i don't see them as much as when we were under the same roof so the quantity of time is way way down but when we do see each other the quality of the time is infinitely better. Our holidays are so relaxed and fun whereas before we had to be on eggshells due to bpd narc ex. Everything about my life is better now, and although I just ended a relationship w gf due to her wanting to get married and have kids, I have no issue dating pleasant fun girls in my area. Happiness is freedom to manouever however you please. Also my mindset around money has totally changed. I still work hard but my goal is no longer to rake it in, it is to enjoy life and make enough to allow me to do that ... I was most surprised by how little men need "things" to make them happy. All the crap we bought and financed and owned seems so trivial now. I've distilled my life down to 3 simple priorities...good sex, good friends and good experiences (food, travel, etc). During the divorce it was gut wrenching and I had so many doubts but for everyone struggling now, there is a bright light at the end

LandOnMyFeet · 2020-06-26T16:17:47+00:00

My STBX just moved out with my kid. Talk about quiet and relief.

No bitching about me, no bitching about my current job, no bitching about the insurance provided to her through me at my company for which I’m employed, no bitching about what Donald Trump did or didn’t do, no arriving home to a blaring TV.

Talk about relief!

Title	Enjoyment
Author	bigtony199077
Upvotes	33
Comments	21
Date	June 25, 2020 10:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/hfvl0n/enjoyment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/enjoyment.818111 https://theredarchive.com/post/818111

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