How did you make your house a home?

cats_or_get_out · 2015-08-02T12:18:01+00:00

I've been learning my husband's tastes over the years. When we first got married, he was annoyed by the massive amount of cat trinkets in my apartment (yeah, like the username). I narrowed down to a few tasteful items and keep them together in my part of the house. (I have my own office area.)

I've learned that he hates excess pillows on the couch, clutter, and things with idiotic quotes on them (like what people stencil on the wall). I know that he likes a muted color palette and that he prefers "clean" rather than busy patterns. I keep all this in mind when I decorate.

I did, however, have a little fun when he was deployed last time. I bought these hot pink towels and bath mats for our bathroom. I added this bright stripey shower curtain and hung up all these flamingo decorations that I had been given as gifts over the years. My bathroom looked like Jimmy Buffett had a party in there.

I showed my husband when we were FaceTiming, and I said, "Don't worry, babe, the bathroom will be returned to its original state before you get home." He laughed and said it was the most ridiculous looking thing ever but that he loved it. We still have this gaudy pink bathroom a year later.

He also has his own office/room that's decorated with his Marine Corps stuff and guy things. As an unspoken rule, I do not complain or adjust anything in this room. (I just take out the trash and vacuum.) It's his room. The same is true for my room. It's nice as an old married couple to have some space that's separate--creates a little bit of mystery. Plus, it feels sexy to be invited to read on the couch in his room while he paints. Being immersed in his man energy is pretty hot.

lord-denning · 2015-08-02T16:05:57+00:00

Look forward to seeing the responses to this great question. For those ladies lurking, this is an example of the soft skills that a RPW can bring to a relationship that is not captured by most assessments of what women can add to a relationship.

Men can be truly blind to the effects of colour, lighting and interior design on their own moods and the happiness of their homes until the women in their lives "take charge" in this front, assess how his tastes can be taken into account and really transform a space. And it doesn't need to cost a lot of money.

I have really appreciated what women have done for the spaces I have lived in. No idea how they do it, will leave it to you ladies to explore.

weelittlebabyforme · 2015-08-02T16:44:10+00:00

I love my husband's taste. We decorate together and paint/craft together often. It's our home, not just mine. I wouldn't want a space that has clutter, so my husband and I tend to love contemporary/modern minimalism with clean lines and lots of color/lights.

Efficiency isn't what you gather, it's what you relinquish.

sugarcrush · 2015-08-02T17:52:05+00:00

I think the atmosphere is what turns a house into a home. I've seen some beautifully decorated and designed houses, but they just didn't FEEL like a home, you know?

So, to create that home feeling for us here's what I try to do:

-Smells nice: cleaned without harsh smelling stuff, plus an oil warmer. We like eucalyptus mint because it's not too strong or frou frou

-A couple pictures of us & families around, and some artwork done by my grandmother hung on the walls

-Yummy food!

-Cozy blankets for cuddles

PremiumGoose · 2015-08-02T20:08:29+00:00

I'm terrible with house decor, so instead I take care of plants. Got some for the apartment and it's nice having some green around.

freebumblebee · 2015-08-03T15:07:42+00:00

What helped was that when I moved in with him, neither of us had much furniture or decorations at all, though for different reasons. We had to start basically from scratch. Since then, I make sure to run purchases past him, especially if I wonder if they're too "girlie" or something. While I love the look of gorgeous, minimalist houses, we live in a small space that's oddly designed. Instead I went for the cozy feel that both of us like. I've been teaching myself how to sew, so I use that to make the place feel "homier," by adding fabric accents. Also, we each have our own space. He has his office, and I have a room. My 'room' is incredibly feminine and filled with all of my stuff. His office is barely decorated, slightly disorganized, and bums me out to go in lol. But we respect each other's space and hope to have that moving forward when we buy a home.

[deleted] · 2015-08-07T16:33:52+00:00

My husband frequently comments that he loves our home. I've put a lot of time into making it a great relaxing place and I think these are my main tips:

Don't go too femme in the bedroom. My husband OFTEN comments that he's so happy our house isn't frilly to the max. I personally think ultra feminine bedrooms are a huge turnoff so ours is filled with nice wood furniture and simple neutral patterns in grey and light blue. It definitely has some feminine touches like the colorful lamps and my fabric closet doors but the artwork on the walls are some of his favorites (night hawks and a painting of foxes).
Or anywhere for that matter. Just like in the bedroom I try to really keep things balanced decor wise. Our living room has a nice black leather recliner couch (he loooooves it) and simple white linen curtains. No frilly Mr. and Mrs. stenciled on the walls, no giant display of a million wedding photos, etc. I get my decor taste in with a colorful geometric print above our couch and some neutral colored midcentury furniture. It's obvious that a woman lives in our home if you walked through but it's definitely not an overly feminine house.
NO STUFF YOU CAN'T USE. My husband overheard his male co-workers talking about throw pillows that they aren't allowed to actually use, decorative pillows on the bed that can't be put on the floor, towels that are only for display, etc. Men hate this shit. They shouldn't have to remember a million rules for what they can and can't do to preserve some insane decor concept. I want my man to walk through the doors of his home and breathe a sigh of relief at being home.
If it's reallllllly important to you let him know. The only truly girly place in our house is our bathroom. I mentioned when I was doing the home decorating how I loved feminine bathrooms. I do little spa days, take lots of baths, etc. When it came time to decorate the bathroom he was like, "babe, go for it, girl it out". Our bathroom is vintage and feminine and I love it. He even surprised me with these old framed prints from vanity fair magazines to hang in there (so sweet). I know he doesn't mind the bathroom but I think a big part of that is because the rest of the house is very much OUR style not just totally girly to the max.
Vibe. I think a lot of a home is the vibe. When I walk into my parent's house it's just TENSE. No matter what. No amount of decor will change that. Creating a positive and fun vibe goes a long way towards having a happy home.

olympiaa · 2015-08-02T18:55:57+00:00

What helped us is that when we moved into our first apartment together we were actually both moving into our first apartment period. Neither one of us had a lot of stuff or furniture so it gave us the opportunity to decide together how we wanted to decorate it and what we wanted to buy.

Now we've just bought our first house and had the most amazing time making it feel like our own.

To be honest I let my husband take the lead. He has wonderful taste in design and inherited a ton of beautiful decorative items and art from his parents. Sometimes I actually can't believe the house we live in. It's beyond my wildest dreams. I grew up with hoarders for parents and always lived in dirty messy houses so living in a beautifully decorated and clean house is just a dream come true.

icyhonesty · 2015-08-02T19:16:20+00:00

My husband had a lot of stuff that he was sentimentality attached to but kept in storage. Pictures, gifts from family and friends, things he got on his travels... I hung frames and floating shelves and display this stuff now. Some stuff has been repurposed (with permission). For example, I've been using his tank shell as a vase for newspaper flowers.

PursuingGrace · 2015-08-05T20:12:13+00:00

It is not easy! At least not for me. He and I have completely different ideas of what makes a home comfortable and inviting. To put it one way, His style is more 'English nobility hunting lodge", while mine is "French countryside cottage". With that, I have decorated 80% of the rooms in our home to his taste. The kitchen and my office are the only two rooms that are pretty much all my taste, and I managed to make the bedroom comfortable for me, but mostly his. lol The biggest tip I can give, is when decided to purchase something, try to imagine you are your husband living with it. Do you think it will blend in? Or will it stand out in a way that irks one of you? Other than that, i am clueless. I was searching for new chair for his office, and was looking at all of these beautiful leather chairs. He found one himself. At a Rummage sale. And it is absolutely hideous and I am still scratching my head, trying to figure out why he has decided it is the most perfect chair in history. But, it makes him happy, and I don't have to look at it much, since it is in his office, and his office is his place for solitude, so who cares if it looks like something Archie Bunker threw out. lol

Title	How did you make your house a home?
Author	myfriendmarkus
Upvotes	22
Comments	27
Date	August 2, 2015 11:32 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3fi12l/how_did_you_make_your_house_a_home/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-did-you-make-your-house-a-home.85505 https://theredarchive.com/post/85505

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