Girls say I’m good looking but what I say ruins everything. Need advice.

RPGivesYouWings · 2018-08-07T00:55:52+00:00

Advice #1: read the side bar

Advice #2: you’re probably saying low value things like “So this guy in my Fortnite squad”

FearGarbhArMait · 2018-08-07T00:53:43+00:00

Read title not your words.

Stop thinking, talk with your hands, your body. Touch, touch, touch.

Zanford · 2018-08-07T01:11:58+00:00

Talk less prob.

IS your voice high pitched?

Do you say approval-seeking things?

Do you have an uncool accent?

justicecantakeanap · 2018-08-07T07:43:57+00:00

Don't ask the actual fish about fishing advice

[deleted] · 2018-08-07T02:10:43+00:00

When you are getting to know someone, you want to know about them, not talk about yourself too much, you can be complex and have a lot to say, but most people will not enjoy this about you.

Most people do not like listening they enjoy talking and being heard. They want you to pay attention, they want to to remember the little things they like and dislike and take action on those things, not talk about it.

Actions over words is such an important habit. There are some awesome practices that can help you with this. Get a small notepad and a pen and resolve not to speak for a month when you don't have to.

Try to say less all the time, try to use as few words to express a point as possible. Do your best to write things you want to talk about to people you want to talk to, then go back over it, and eliminate anything that runs on, things that are overexplained or repeated, any extra words that you use like...

I'll use your post.

I'm lost. People say I look good. I am a 7-8. I've been told if I kept my mouth shut I could date any woman I want. The hot woman I did bang didn't speak english. Some words here and there, some google translate, that's it. She wanted more.

I talk a lot, it is hard to figure out because it is who I am. Don't let me down, I am on the path.

First post, if you need more info just ask.

Things you need to stop doing. Stop using long winded sentences altogether. You could take a public speaking class. Eliminate really, But that the start of sentences, here and there, I admit I don't know what precisely. There are shorter ways to say everything.

Compact your expression. Make it incredibly small, make it mysterious more than anything else.

CainPrice · 2018-08-07T02:30:12+00:00

Talk less. You are probably over-communicating. And when you do talk, talk about nothing instead of talking about something.

Girls don't want to have a serious conversation about what's going on in your life and what's going on in their life and both of your respective feelings on various issues. Girls want to small-talk, banter, and flirt.

That conversation you have with a girl before taking her home isn't a conversation, in the traditional sense. It's a demonstration that you know the game. A demonstration that you are able to small-talk and flirt and banter in a way that indicates your understanding of the casual sex culture without being brazen and open about it. It's like wearing the right clothes and having a hot body, but you're showing off your understanding of the game instead of your chest and shoulders.

[deleted] · 2018-08-07T03:03:00+00:00

Don't listen to women for dating advice.. Loool

Fun2badult · 2018-08-07T02:52:14+00:00

I have similar problem except I’m not that good looking or at least I don’t consider myself to be. One thing to learn is to stfu and have the girl talk more. That’s something I need to work on as well. When you talk, it should be something funny or interesting. Rest is all nonsense and won’t make it better. Always have to ask open ended question so the girl can blabber her mouth and if she asks, gotta turn it around not answering a direct answer and ask her another question so she can keep talking. At the end, she’ll feel like she’s so comfortable with you but doesn’t know much about you, which is where you want to be. You can take this with a grain of salt as I’m also a work in progress

Greek-God-Brody · 2018-08-07T12:25:55+00:00

Girls will fuck you if they consider you physically attractive. You'll get a free pass. All you have to do is properly escalate and she will comply, just because she is turned on by you.

casemodz · 2018-08-07T07:52:52+00:00

In the same boat. First, try getting a girl who you aren't into but is into you. You'll understand how to not care. That's what you should do

NegativeTangerine · 2018-08-07T01:41:33+00:00

I'd say I'm a 7-8 too.

Can you give more info? How much are you talking, and what are you talking about?

BeeBopJoe · 2018-08-07T04:56:18+00:00

I didn't bother reading the post since the title has the answer already in it. Reread your thread title, it literally tells you what you need to work on.

chachaChad · 2018-08-07T12:15:13+00:00

spectrum

I think you're also on some other spectrum.

MattyAnon · 2018-08-07T17:31:47+00:00

But they also say that if it wasn’t for my mouth, I’d end up dating any girl I want.

Your friends know jack.

Any advice guys?

What do you say? What do you think you say wrong?

[deleted] · 2018-08-07T19:41:22+00:00

Best advice is to surround yourself with people with good communication skills and learn from them. Observe their timing, voice tone, posture, their facial expressions. Just reading advice on the internet isn't enough to fix your communication skills.

Kink3 · 2018-08-07T05:06:50+00:00

There's already a ton of good info here but grab How To Win Friends and Influence People on audible. Book is exactly what you need.

HurricaneHugues · 2018-08-07T06:03:03+00:00

Talk less. Thats all u gotta do.

Rear-Naked-Artichoke · 2018-08-07T10:37:18+00:00

Say somthing else.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-08-07T11:10:13+00:00

read this

Learn to be a mystery. Search TRP for that topic, it’s been covered very well many times.

RedKepler · 2018-08-07T13:03:32+00:00

Well youve noted what it is. Its your talk putting them off.

Mystery is part of the attraction, so if you talk like an early learning leapfrog touch pad, then yeah, your gonna be getting boring pretty fast.

People (and women) live to talk, especially about themselves, and it is themselves which you want to learn about, so show ibterest ij them, reveal little about yourself, and theyll find you know more about them than they do about you, but will still see you as someone safe, use it in business, use it in dating.

It also depends on what you talk about as well as the gitl themselves. Some hate swearing, i know a couple like that, and i curse pretty causually around people who im friendly with, and whrn they pick it up, i tell them theyre sentrnce enhancers.

Right goodluck

ronalddrump69 · 2018-08-07T13:05:18+00:00

Same to me. I hear girls tell their friends I'm cute but when I say something it's a 'turn off'. Most of these girls are bitches anyways and I can pull enough girls. DOn't let it get to your head.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2018-08-07T17:05:09+00:00

I admit to talking a lot about everything and anything but I don’t know what precisely is what turns girls off.

Learn to ask people about themselves. Nobody really wants to hear about you. They want to talk about themselves and what they like and whats important to them.

Get people to think you are interested in their boring lives, and they will love you for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Read this book until you memorize it. Seriously.

Especially the sections on Six Ways to Make People Like You.

-DeadLock · 2018-08-07T17:32:14+00:00

In the same situation and might be literally high functioning autist.

Im doing nofap and lifting to otherwise increase my smv

Bruchibre · 2018-08-07T02:13:43+00:00

Stop talking? lololol

[deleted] · 2018-08-07T08:21:48+00:00

Don't be a fucking faggot, that's how. build an interesting life

Title	Girls say I’m good looking but what I say ruins everything. Need advice.
Author	NegativeTangerine
Upvotes	51
Comments	62
Date	August 7, 2018 12:50 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/956zgk/girls_say_im_good_looking_but_what_i_say_ruins/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girls-say-im-good-looking-but-what-i-say-ruins.859 https://theredarchive.com/post/859

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