Coffee shop situation yesterday! What should I have done as a single RPW? Mildly silly question

CamusSeesSumac · 2016-01-25T00:24:24+00:00

I think your instincts are good. Should have smiled, should have cracked a joke. He probably thought you were cute too, but wasn't sure if you were interested. Choosing to sit with you was his small "bid", you have to accept and give a bid back - a joke or a smile are good starts. You have to be open to flirtation and flirt back a bit. :)

I was thinking about this yesterday, coffee shops are great places to meet people! I spent the blizzard yesterday in my favorite haunt, and I was working + I'm in a happy relationship, but a few men tried to start conversations, and it's not a bad place for women to meet men.

KelIy_C · 2016-01-25T02:35:06+00:00

You should have smiled warmly, cracked a joke, remarked about the weather, anything to be more open and give him a way to start up a conversation.

readlovegrow · 2016-01-25T04:51:50+00:00

"wow, didn't realize how crowded it is!"

Yep, that would have been a great segway after "Yes, for sure" instead of picking up the book again.

If the table next to you opens up as you are speaking, purposefully ignore it and continue to move your stuff (your book, coffee, muffin, whatever) away from the offered chair, like you are making room for him (even if he already has plenty of room.) I believe this gives the clearest, "Yes, I still want you to join me" signal.

FleetingWish · 2016-01-25T06:43:52+00:00

In this situation, should I have just continued reading and leave him to initiate conversation?

Not if you were interested. Going back to reading your book is pretty much the worse thing you can do. The problem is it closes you off from conversation, and signals disinterest. If you want him to initiate conversation with you, you have to appear open to it. Reading a book shows you are busy or are otherwise preoccupied.

spirit_of_mattvity · 2016-01-26T09:33:13+00:00

All the PUA stuff, game, openers is Largely for men. Girl "game" is a lot more passive in.my opinion. Men don't need a lot. Just smile, face your body towards him, put your attention on him when speaking, be open, inviting. It doesn't reallyatter what you say then, as long as your demeanor is welcoming. If he doesn't react to your welcome, a few comments, by entering into conversation, he may just not be interested. Maybe something that leads into conversation easily in case the guybis shy/introverted such as "I'm glad to have this time off work/ school," since that leads easily into where you work/go to school

dr_warlock · 2016-01-25T02:51:10+00:00

"You're cute" would have skipped all the nonsense. He would appreciate the obvious ioi.

Men are looking for a certain ioi to escalate to the next step. When you dont show it, that's when you see men mumbling about nothing and the convo goes stale. He's waiting for the signal.

Pwlldu · 2016-01-25T12:36:36+00:00

It begs the question though, what can you do in a coffee shop that says "I'm definitely here to do this, but definitely also not if you want to chat"?

Title	Coffee shop situation yesterday! What should I have done as a single RPW? Mildly silly question
Author	lax2332
Upvotes	20
Comments	41
Date	January 24, 2016 11:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/42iaoi/coffee_shop_situation_yesterday_what_should_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/coffee-shop-situation-yesterday-what-should-i-have.85927 https://theredarchive.com/post/85927

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