College aged daughter is a feminist and wife sides with her. I am lambasted and attacked for saying anything against feminist ideology.

Lethn · 2016-11-12T19:22:09+00:00

If you're being told this by your own wife and daughter then I'm sorry, you're kind of fucked and they sound like total twats.

Freedom206 · 2016-11-12T19:30:51+00:00

You need to have a serious talk with them both that they, like you, will respect opinions but the second it becomes hostile will be the end of that bs. It's time to grow up and if your wife is unable to be an Adult, then the relationship will not work. If you guys need counseling then fine but the utter lack of respect for another human being has to end, no matter what it takes because this bs will ruin you. I was in a phsically, emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years and got out when it finally clicked. Don't settle for an unhappy life with unhappy people. You can love someone from a distance if need be.

snoopyzanus · 2016-11-12T19:59:36+00:00

Well, I of course am silenced and was made to apologize to everyone for my "behavior".

No, you were not "made" to do this; you made the choice to buy short term peace at a high price. You should think about what that price really is.

And I'm not talking about the politics here. I'm talking about the whole dynamic between you, your wife and your daughter.

No one is going to set and reinforce the boundaries of how you are treated in your family but you—notice how your wife, and presumably daughter, asserted themselves to insist on you apologizing because you challenged the bounderies they have set.

And their boundaries seem to encircle the whole damn thing with you inside. They rule and you obey when it comes to an emotionally-sensitive difference of opinion.

If you want to be treated as an equal to your wife, then you have to assert yourself and be willing to accept weathering through the storm of their bad reactions when you stand up for yourself without giving in and demand your right to your own opinion.

You need to call out their bad behavior as you see it too. This "Die!" bullshit is abusive and unacceptable.

Short term conflict is a far better price to pay as it gains you self-respect and the respect of the others (this doesn't mean they'll agree with you, just that they will know that they can't force you into agreement, silence or an apology for daring to speak your mind).

You don't even need to get drawn into an argument about this. You only need to stand firm. Just remember that only you are in control of your own reaction.

Imnotmrabut · 2016-11-12T19:20:13+00:00

Feminism is a cult - as they say you can lead a fool to water, but you can't make them sink!

dagthegnome · 2016-11-12T19:31:52+00:00

Are you paying for her tuition or any other college fees? Are you subsidizing your daughter's living? If so, you should cut her off. Tell her you don't want to pay for a degree that has no practical purpose once she leaves school, and especially not for one that teaches her that kind of intolerance. Threaten to pull her out of school or make her pay her own way. The best way to shut down a feminist is to undermine her own privilege.

xNOM · 2016-11-12T20:21:00+00:00

when some women are wrong they stop trying to win the argument and they just start trying to win at any cost

so when she starts insulting you, saying stupid bs, getting all emotional, call her on it calmly and stoically

"calling me names and getting upset doesn't make you factually correct. make a intelligent rational counterpoint if you have one"

InBaggingArea · 2016-11-12T20:56:34+00:00

This is what's called a shit test. You failed.

BaconCatBug · 2016-11-12T22:32:31+00:00

So leave. You don't deserve to be in an abusive relationship.

EricAllonde · 2016-11-13T02:28:20+00:00

I'm truly sorry. There were a number of things I was going to say but I got stuck on this:

I was also told that I should "DIE" by my wife numerous times.

I think that's unforgivable. To me that suggests you have no relationship with your wife.

I can't think of any circumstances under which someone who loves you or cares about you would end up saying you should die. There are none. That's something that a person who loves you would never say.

Unfortunately I agree with the others saying you need to leave. It sounds like you don't really have a relationship any longer. It's going to be painful to leave and start over, but it's better than the alternative of growing old with someone who feels nothing but contempt for you.

As for your daughter: she sounds completely ungrateful for you funding her studies. The only possible treatment, which by the way would be very much to her future benefit, is for her to experience not having your money behind her and having to pay her own way. Clearly she doesn't appreciate the value of a dollar because she hasn't had to earn them for herself.

Last, I want to strongly encourage you to start a diary right now. Write down all the things that your wife & daughter have said to you, how they treated you and how you feel about that. Because once you tell them that you're leaving and you won't hand over 100% of your paycheque to them any longer, they will likely try to change your mind. They'll come on all sweet and apologetic, etc etc.

When that happens, you need your diary to remind you of the truth, of how they really feel. What you're seeing now is truth and honesty, you need to remember that and not be fooled by the lies which will come as soon as they realise you've had enough and are leaving.

Good luck. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but know that there's a better life awaiting you away from those two ungrateful bitches.

liquid_j · 2016-11-12T22:37:41+00:00

why are you providing material support to people who abuse you? Stop that.

2016-11-12T22:05:04+00:00

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ItsJustASnip · 2016-11-12T20:39:27+00:00

Why do you let your wife and daughter walk all over you like this?

user1492 · 2016-11-12T22:47:55+00:00

Why are you supporting this behavior? She's 18, she can support herself.

Imnotmrabut · 2016-11-12T19:49:01+00:00

You could consider Divide And Conquer by just putting the factual feminist on a loop and leaving your daughter and wife to cancel each other out!

The Top Five Feminist Myths THAT WILL NOT DIE would be a place to start!

987789987987789 · 2016-11-12T21:50:08+00:00

I really wish feminism was what women and male feminists say it is.

The feminist vision of life doesn't include short feminine men. I feel like I have to pursue escapism until I eventually get too old to exercise and explore and then will have to kill myself. I really wanted to have a family, but random sex is more important than family (unless you're good looking) in feminist America, and random sex is something for women and good looking men.

I get it, it's about being attractive. Everything is about being attractive. It's funny how feminists did the exact opposite of what they claimed to be about. They always do that. Equality for me, not for thee.

KamiNekoSama · 2016-11-12T22:50:18+00:00

Sounds like you are in an abusive relationship, seek help.

2016-11-13T03:41:25+00:00

OP, you are being disrespected and stepped on. You need to sit down with both your wife and daughter and lay out a clear set of boundaries when it comes to debate where personal attacks and emotional abuse will not be tolerated. If they are unwilling to comply, then you need to get away from them. Permanently. It's not worth swimming in such toxic waste.

iongantas · 2016-11-13T06:49:58+00:00

Divorce.

samsc2 · 2016-11-13T07:07:43+00:00

Protect yourself ASAP. If your wife has that little respect for you then she most likely is more then willing to absolutely fuck you over. Do not have a joint bank account. Take her name off of everything or just do not put her name on anything ever again. Anticipate and plan for her fucking you over.

After that don't put up with that bullshit. Go make a good friend who's men's rights oriented and see how those two assholes like being ganged up on and belittled. Just make sure she can't fuck you first though.

Imnotmrabut · 2016-11-12T21:22:04+00:00

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eixan · 2016-11-13T07:25:46+00:00

Divorce and disown

feedmecarrots · 2016-11-13T07:39:32+00:00

Given the lack of respect, especially being told to "die" by your wife, I think you should make plans to live on your own. Sorry.

ThePigmanAgain · 2016-11-13T00:24:56+00:00

Alternate Headline -- "Man Needs New Family"

Seriously, get a new identity and start over somewhere else. But this time don't be stupid enough to get married and have more brats.

IvanDagomilov · 2016-11-13T02:00:00+00:00

I'd bet you are being used for your resources. If you pay the bills, it should be your rules. If this isn't the case, they're just tired of you and probably already have some other fool on the hook. Either way, you no longer have a home. You're headed for the curb and you better get ahead of that.

the_tolerator · 2016-11-13T04:24:40+00:00

Just don't rape and kill them, you know how men get.

Ali_s1987 · 2016-11-13T06:08:32+00:00

I have 3 sisters and add my mom into the mix and I cant win. So you do something else. You agree with them and add a little bit of your own twist. You dont straight up attack what they have been fed their entire lives. Them: Men should never hit women under any circumstance. Me: Definitely, However if a lady hits me Im pretty sure that Im gonna hit back...... Them: How can you hit a woman. That is extremely sexist. Me: Oh I know, but would you want a random stranger to hit me and I shouldnt do anything in return? What if your son got slapped in the face by a girl, you dont want him to hit back. You want him to just be bullied without him fighting back?

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-11-13T08:31:01+00:00

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TomHicks · 2016-11-13T10:24:20+00:00

Liquidate your assets. Ghost on her. Move city/state/country and change your name. I'm not exaggerating. If you care at all about your future and your safety, you must act now.

jmax123 · 2016-11-12T23:57:16+00:00

You gotta stand up for yourself. Let it be known that they cant talk to you like that.

mochacola · 2016-11-13T09:44:28+00:00

was made to apologize to everyone

What did you need to apologize for? For pointing facts out? This is what I can't stand about feminism. They'd rather side with ideologue they have no clue of, organizations that's making money off them, and go against their own family members for stating out simple facts. Disgusting.

Saleri50 · 2016-11-13T02:11:54+00:00

Run away from the country.

Like, seriously, right now, you don't deserve to stay with anyone that doesn't respect your rights as a human being. I've seen this happen too many times and many men end up dead or seriously harmed due to it.

Jesus_marley · 2016-11-13T13:40:26+00:00

There is no way that I would allow anybody in my family to speak to me in that manner. They can disagree with me, sure. They can criticize my ideas and my stances, too. but I will not allow anybody to say "I should die" or to call me names. Nor would I ever apologize for the crime of disagreement.

You as a person, deserve more respect than what your family has shown to you. You have a responsibility to tell them that their behaviour was disrespectful and crossed the line of what is acceptable for any family member to do to another.

People are strongly attached to their ideologies and tempers can run high. In defending their beliefs they do sometimes go overboard and say things that hurt others. Setting boundaries of acceptable behaviour is important in protecting both yourself and the bonds of family that can be damaged in anger. When you do set those boundaries though, Their response will tell you all you need to know. It's then you may have another decision to make.

2016-11-13T14:46:29+00:00

As a comedian once said, "don't stick your dick in crazy"

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-11-13T15:30:16+00:00

"I can tell you the real victim in this case is men."

.

Amen

2016-11-13T18:18:08+00:00

Part of this whole thing should be mutual respect on both sides. Why do you put up with your wife talking to you like that? You could give her some spankings or find a new wife.

satisfyinghump · 2016-11-13T20:02:57+00:00

Its sad how you've phrased it, "you made the mistake of interjecting", and I know you know, but you have a voice to and a brain filled with ideas, and you can speak about whatever you choose to.

Rockbottom503 · 2016-11-14T14:07:01+00:00

Screw that! I take stuff like that as a challenge - both my wife and daughters inbox would be overflowing with the wage gap rebuttals easily obtainable off you tube! Last time I got in an argument over the wage gap I ended it very simply by putting my money where my mouth is - offering to bet £100 that they couldn't find me a job advert anywhere in our country that offered enhanced rates for men over women!

rougecrayon · 2016-11-13T15:28:26+00:00

Ya... I disagree with your thought that the wage gap is a myth (not trying to change your mind) and I think the "why don't companies just hire all women then" is one of the easiest and most flawed arguments.... but that is not what matters here.

The world is full of different opinions but instead of talking to you your wife tells you to die? You are just being completely dismissed? You are MADE to apologize?

If they lovingly disagreed and explained why you thought they were wrong you could change your mind, or would continue with the opinion you have now.

Dismissing, yelling, telling you you should die. Holy crap - unless you thought all women should die I don't see the need for that terrible behaviour. I hope you are able to address the real issue with your family because the Wage Gap (though totally real and denial is part of the problem - what?! I can't help it!) is not more important that your life or your family.

leftajar · 2016-11-14T17:49:19+00:00

The demanded that you apologize, and you did?!

_pulsar · 2016-11-19T00:16:31+00:00

Have you shown your daughter the actual statistics surrounding earnings for both genders?

It probably still won't change anything, at least not immediately, but I would definitely recommend sitting down with her and going through it. Men work longer hours, more dangerous jobs, etc, and all boils down to men and women preferring different careers.

Also ask her if she thinks it's fair that female models earn more than male models by a mile. (It is fair, but this is to try to help her understand why it's okay for someone to be paid more than others if they bring in more money for a company)

2016-11-14T07:12:59+00:00

Did it really take you 20 years to figure out that you fucked a baby into a crazy retard?

Title	College aged daughter is a feminist and wife sides with her. I am lambasted and attacked for saying anything against feminist ideology.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	140
Comments	101
Date	November 12, 2016 7:10 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5clwbd/college_aged_daughter_is_a_feminist_and_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/college-aged-daughter-is-a-feminist-and-wife-sides.937663 https://theredarchive.com/post/937663

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