~ archived since 2018 ~

do you think this sentence is true?

September 6, 2022

"Both looks and personality can determine your success when dating someone, looks create sexual attraction, personality can maintain the relationship , the more attractive you are the less personality you need, the less attractive you are the more personality you need, there is a limit on how unattractive you can be once that limit is crossed personality can't help you, there is also a limit on how attractive you can be once that limit is crossed your personality is almost useless" this is my current view about dating, i would want to hear your opinion/corrections on it and if you think is true or bullshit

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/AllPillDebate.

/r/AllPillDebate archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title do you think this sentence is true?
Author G0dZylla
Upvotes 12
Comments 36
Date September 6, 2022 2:41 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/do-you-think-this-sentence-is-true.1139608
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/x7cbx2/do_you_think_this_sentence_is_true/

[–]250umdfail 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More like the horseshoe theory: personality doesn't matter at both ends of the looks spectrum. It only matters for the man in the average zone. But this zone is decided by women, and shrinking as I speak.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Personality doesn’t matter if the girl isn’t attracted to you.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. This idea that you can "create" sexual attraction where none exists isn't just a myth, but a very toxic one. It either leads guys to getting taken advantage of by settlers and gold diggers, or getting even MORE frustrated and angry because his "game" still isn't producing results.

[–]3boodqt 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It does..! cuz a girl can lose attraction if she didn’t like the personality.. and also I’ve seen ugly guys win over girls that attractive guys couldn’t.

[–]IHateNormis 7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If females were attracted to personality, prisons would be full of incels and they would never get into abusive relationships. It’s a lie that needs to stop

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]hudibrastic 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Soon they will lol

[–]IHateNormis 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Criminal sex having males are a lot more numerous

[–]hudibrastic 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not sure if I understood... I said as a joke as women push to being incel be a crime in itself

[–]IHateNormis 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh ok, I interpreted another way

[–]KirthWGersen 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is pretty simple: once you have surpassed a woman's minimum for looks (which naturally varies greatly between women and the contexts you meet them in), all the other aspects such as personality come into play.

Raise your level of looks and a higher proportion of women become options. But if you can't hold a conversation, hold down a job or control your emotions, you will lose many of those options.

If you are just looking for ONS, that might not matter much to you. But if you want to get the most out of women, you have to have plenty to contribute to whatever kind of relationship you form.

[–]RStonePTRedPill 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How you make her feel is the only factor. Everything else is in service of that.

Personality is tangental, and I doubt anyone would be able to define it clearly if you asked them what that meant.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women don't give a fuck about personality. What attracts a woman is your looks and what keeps her is how better looking you are compared to the men around her who offer her commitment after you're together. If a better looking man comes along, it's goodbye to you. If she knows she can't attract a better looking man than you, she'll be devoted to you more or less.

My brother is a stereotypical 8/10 chad. His first wife was like your stereotypical pretty girl in his league and she cheated on him when a handsome but richer guy came along. His current fiancee is like a solid 4/10 and she worships the ground he walks on.

What attracts a woman is your looks and what keeps her is the ability to be better looking/higher status than the men that offer her relationships once you're together.

[–]LiftSushiDallas 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is absolutely not true. For the short-term, sure, looks are primary, but for a woman with options wanting a relationship, compatibility and personality matter a GREAT deal.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are some men that legit fail or are more likely to fail due to personality, i think elliot rodger is a good example. Or the fact most dudes on incel forums also lack friends

It might not be important for a dude who's sub 4 tier, however from 5/10 and up, it does matter

[–]FishTank34 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

RIP your brothers offspring

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's hard to answer. Because how much is personality inferred by looks?

There's a known phenomenon called the halo effect. Where people were prescribe adjectives for their actions.

As the study found, people who were unattractive, were associated with negative adjectives. While people who were attractive were associated with positive adjectives.

So the same action, words, and tone can be used by two different people, but depending on how they look, the perceiver will judge their personality differently.

[–]hudibrastic 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is correct, halo effect plays such a huge role in this

[–]Stunning-Spirit5275 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Looks are the lynchpin. Without it, everything else falls apart

[–]TriggurWarning 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't forget about money and status, that is wrapped up in it too. It's all about that LMS.

[–]islandmiler 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can do better by rephrasing all of that in math terms: In a free exchange economy of sex and mating, appearance is a necessary condition. If you are not attractive enough, it can be compensated for with other characteristics of value to females. The compensating variation however, is extremely unfavorable for males in the exchange. Personality can be one of those characteristics, but how much value (if any) it offer females can vary, and is not well understood.

[–]Pillan24 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Looks are what creates any sort of spark. There has to be some sort of physical attraction for personality to come into play.

[–]serialkiller_mne 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, personality and looks matter in varying degrees depending on the person.

However, if you act the bare minimum of normal as an attractive person, you will have an easier pass with people than someone that is a little ugly, but has a great persona. In most cases...

Yet, I have a friend that is objectivelly good looking and an interesting guy, very fun to be around. Yet he can't find himself a girl because he puts no effort to get himself out there, and when he rarely does he always uses the same failed approach everytime.

He's literally "too nice" and despite him being a good catch, he gets no pussy. Wish I could help that stubborn cunt

[–]bludkrazeRED AF 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Game is real.

[–]MasonSub4BlackPill 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I wish I was huffing the same copium as you

[–]bludkrazeRED AF 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Literally every single interaction that happens between people that lasts longer than a single fuck is because of game. Looks only get the door open. Every succesful guy out there will tell you the same.

[–]MasonSub4BlackPill -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Looks = personality

[–]bludkrazeRED AF 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Define your dating gols. If you just want to sleep around personality is not as necessary as looks. If you want to play the long game personality is also useless. Game is everything. If you dont have game you wont capitalize on your looks.

[–]Eyesofmalice 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's not reasonable to analyze both as isolated form one another.

Our personalities are shaped massively by the type of response our social risks recieve. If you took a risk once, and found moderate success, you're most likely to try again, and if that patterns repeats itself, your psyche will adopt that trait as part of your personality. Same with body language, most of use human take on certain gestures performed by people around us, but the reaction they get from those in our environment determines how likely we are to keep them.

Maybe as a kid you imitated someone scratching their head as a sign of confusion, and since you didn't receive a negative response from that gesture you were allowed to take it into your life. Others maybe took biting their nails, bit because of the response they got in their environment, they were made to feel ashamed and started doing it secretly. So while the first person can have a gesture of pacification done publicly, the other needs to manage their emotions until they can extinguish them privately.

Being attractive makes it more likely that you'll get socially rewarded for certain behaviors that will seem unacceptable if you weren't attractive. Which in turns shapes your personality.

At this point of my argument however I'd like to draw a distinction between looks and appearance, i believe looks are objective, determined by bone structure and such, appearance however is cultural.

For example, you cab be a very good looking middle eastern person, or asian person, or Caucasian person, or black person; however your attractiveness will be associated with different kinds of sentiments depending on the moment in history you're in and the culture in which you are.

That's where a huge point that's never addressed in the media comes from, even if you're good looking, culturally you're still only rewarded for adopting markers of appearance which are tightly determined by the upper classes.

I believe it can be illustrated in The great Gatsby. Gatsby is supposed to model himself on relation to the appearance of the ideal male by western standards, however his social standing made him an usurper in Daisy's eyes. I believe that happens a lot in modern dating.

If you're ugly and you try to adopt characteristics which are percieved as beautiful, you'll find two things:

  • firstly that your personality won't match the ones you find in the social circle in which you're trying to enter ( because even though you're mimicking the appearance, your personality wasn't shaped by the feedback your looks would have given you initially)

  • secondly, you'll be percieved as a deceiver and an usurper. They'll tell you you're trying to hard, or that it doesn't suit you, or in general they'll tell you have to be yourself in order to be loved. Which is always a way to say without taking on the moral responsibility of rejecting you (don't trick me into liking you because I don't want to desire you, i want to desire what is deemed commendable by others)I think this is also why our levels of affection for someone else will massively depend on how much we believe others will find our partners attractive or acceptable.

So I think this idea that personality is the decider in attraction masks a more perverse reality, which is that you're meant to have a personality which is neutral and alligns to successful people personality in order to be judged solely by your appearance.

Let's look at our models, most people which are deemed very attractive by most people tend to be public figures, and those public figures for the most part tend to have a bland and unremarkable personality. Even supposed outliers like harry Styles, who for all his supposed subversiveness still has a lifestyle befitting of his appearance. Another example is Billie Eilish, she became famous on the premise of being n outlier, but once she was accepted into affluent social circles she started to adopt traits of their personality into hers (liberal ideology, individualism, fair world mentality, fake togetherness, etc)

It can be seen by how both sexes, when talking about the personalities they're into will name a bunch of characteristics that actively suppresses personality itself. They'll tell you they want a passionate person, but is everyone allowed to be pationate in our society? Is a person working two jobs and in debted to despair as passionate as the guy who was born into wealth and spends loads on summer trips to Italy? Can you be compassionate when you've been neglected and abuse your entire life? Or can you be interesting when you never had any free time because you had to work since childhood?

When you start asking questions on how people came into being percieved as attractive and what factors played a part in shaping their character you'll see that it mostly comes down to social status and luck with your genes. If you're attractive but were born in the wrong environment you're fucked, if you have a great personality but life gives you the short end of the stick you're fucked as well.

For being percieved as attractive you need free time, access to intellectual and cultural life, ample resources, and to fit the standard of beauty mandated by the rich and powerful. Of you're born with good looks you can be hypergamous and somewhat modify slightly the standards of beauty, but if you're ugly and born middle class or lower class you're fucked.

[–]ummizazi -1 points0 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

I know a lot of women who had LTR’s with guys they weren’t physically attracted to initially. I know guys who are self proclaimed ugly dude that swim in box.

Initial attraction is only one form of attraction. Less attractive guys can get girls. Money is a cheat code but it’s not the only way.

Being funny is a great way to land women. If you can have a conversation and have her side split that’s half the battle. Being confident helps. No one want to be with someone who doesn’t even want to be with themselves.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

I disagree with you. I make a lot of money by British standards and I've never once been on a date. Ugliness cannot be compensated for as a male in the dating world. It's just a lottery and you have to try again and again and hope someone gives you a shot eventually even though 99.9% never will

[–]ummizazi 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

A few questions. Have you had more than a five minute conversation with a woman who wasn’t related to you and wasn’t forced to talk to you?

If yes did you make laugh any of them full on laugh?

Do you guy friends every say you’re fun to be around?

Do you have a good sense of humor about your self? Like can you roast yourself and make other people laugh?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I talk to women a lot at work for example but I have Asperger's so all the humor stuff is a little hard so I can rely on looks

[–]ummizazi 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

Did an a comedian with Asperger’s come in second of Britain’s got talent?

People on the spectrum can be funny. There’s lots ways to be funny.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it’s less personality and more attitude and status. Looks is also only part of the visual assessment - there are two other factors: muscle mass and height.

All those are what will give her the tingles. What’ll make her want you for a relationship is more complex, and at that point we have to take some additional things in to account: namely resources. Money, Car, House, etc.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much my view as well. Unfortunately, the minimum threshold for a man's personality to help him seems to be getting higher and higher. If it gets to the point where "5" guys can't even betabux "4s" anymore, society is gonna be in serious trouble!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter