myself: i spend most of my time, whether i want to or not, indoors at home. i live in a secluded town where most of the people are simply not desirable to interact with either due to vast gaps of social class or interests (think: reading books primarily in english along with other languages vs. watching a shit ton of tik tok and scrolling arabic facebook.) i do not exagerrate when i say there are no activity centers such as clubs and the like other than maybe language learning centers in here, and any further than that i couldnt convince my parents it's worth the gasoline to get there.
my parents are not mentally stable and generally the entire family is dysfunctional. my sister and i believe that my mother has npd and that my father is also some cluster b disorder. while i believe that i have come to adopt a relatively secure attachment style over the years from trial and error and introspection, i suspect that i have some degree of AvPD.
the people i interact with most are store clerks, my parents and my sister on any given day outside of uni where i am a cs student. but i live in MENA, so the class is actually close to 51:49 M:F gender split. (the female students being either taken, following their parents' advice not to hang out with dudes, unknown to me or simply uninterested.) now, do typical blue pill explanations hold here? i.e. "you just don't respect women", "you don't view them as people", "you're too selfish", "you're too rude", "you feel entitled to..."? i have no reason to think so. some redditors might point and laugh at my activity on this website for petty reasons, but as far as i can tell in real life, i was told by the women around me that i'm a pleasant person to be around, and have rarely if ever been accused of breaking boundaries or harassment. to the best of my memory, it hasn't happened since elementary school and that was more due to lack of social skills from being sheltered and banned from interacting with other kids outside class than being horny as i hadnt hit puberty yet.
do red pill explanations hold here? i.e. do i just need to be more alpha? it could be. i do not try to compete or "best" other men though at least on the student rankings i'm generally within the top 10 of my class. i'm also not the fittest man although i have visible muscle and i am not overweight at all. my bmi is 23.5, 5'9, 72 kg. but i'm also more or less complacent at times, i can't be productive from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to bed although i wish that were the case.
do black pill explanations hold here? likely. i'm on the shorter side compared to most of my male peers in college. the guys i've seen with women were without exception taller than myself. i also don't mask my stims all that well especially under stress (one teacher stopped to ask me close-up if i had autism so she could let me take a break. another apparently wanted me to "spend some time personally" with her and was just overall creepy and flirty with me while she was married, even had me sit on her desk once. (i was 18 and she was 40.) none of the people aside from my sister who had heard of this found anything strange with it, i'm a dissenting opinion.)
i also don't have much wealth to flaunt either and often run into dead ends making small talk just by following scripts in conversation. conversely, one female ppd user who was married and saw a pciture of myself claimed i was 8/10 along with another female user who's active on FAW that gave the same rating. my matches on dating apps, aside from a few i met at first that fizzled out, were all bots. one later turned out to recognize me from real life but had never met me close-up and said she wanted to get to know me better (that's still unfolding.)
i have witnessed one of my friends' gfs(now ex) try to humorously neg him whenever i got close to the both of them and it made me uncomfortable. another girl who once sought me out and gave me her number blocked me after she tried to convince me that i had asked for her number which i distinctly remember didnt happen and make me explain "why i did it." (gender reversed redpill???). she had dyed hair if that makes a difference. another one, a bit more goth, also had a bf and seemed to get all flirty with me in body language when she'd notice me or when i get close to her. i passed. i also got turned down once by a rather average-looking girl i liked, we're still friends. it had more to do with her state of mind than with my LMS i believe. her friends still wanted to set me up with her.
case study 2: 5'9 middle eastern man, same age as myself, currently in canuckstan for college. like myself, ex-muslim from a religious family. only time he had sex was with an escort he paid 300 CAD and he claims it wasn't worth it. he has a very masculine face yet a mediocre frame that he compensated for by working out. to the best of my knowledge, his personality is more aggressive / stoic than mine and he has gotten into school fights to prove himself to his bullies at an all-male high school back in his native country.
in another country, he witnessed a guy in senior hs i believe, very effeminate and tall, surrounded with female simps just for his looks even as he politely asked them to go away (this experience made him lean blackpill.) he interacts with very few people because he feels sick and alienated from society, and has had no matches on apps. on other social apps, he has befriended girls in our age range successfully.
he's also been on exactly one date before who quietly ghosted him after it went well for multiple hours. we believe that she had realized his height was shorter than that of her own female friends iirc as nothing else was obvious to us and as he says it, the outing went well for the both of them.
he currently struggles with his studies as he's not feeling driven but spends his time heavily researching medical articles on psychiatry and learning to use linux. note that he is also a CS major. he has medical issues that, while manageable, stress him considerably.
case study 3: racially mixed man living in europe. no euro ancestry. brown skin tone. younger than me by a couple years. very tall, say above 6 ft. underweight, he says and i believe it from the pictures i've seen. wears glasses. he voluntarily withdrew from the game. comes from a well-off family, studies well, has multiple hobbies. his experiences with women have led him to conclude that as an introvert who doesn't like his hobbies to be constrained by the sensibilities of others and prefers to play vidya and produce online content, etc. that he can't expect much luck his way.
he had a crush once. got turned down and it didnt really affect him. watched his friends get and lose girls, specifically one whose ex went twice for a gang member. others were obsessed with radical politics of which one went out of her way to take offense at his dark sense of humor, slung an accusation at him of racism against dark-skinned people even though he is one of them.
like the two other case studies above, does not identify as feminist nor as right-wing. we all lean more blackpill than blue or red as a result of our experiences , our observations of that of others and the scientific literature on human mating we've been exposed to, even if i don't take any of the pill colors as true in all circumstances.