50:50 Parenting

Signal-Dot2326 · 2025-01-12T16:41:27+00:00

Mediation is just game playing they'll be 1000 more opportunities to settle before "trial", you're gonna tell her, the mediator, her lawyer the judge your family your lawyer and the homeless guy who is outside Starbucks, that you will see this through to the judge decision at trial before settling for less then 50/50 then you're gonna do that. And, I guarantee you will get it unless you've been arrested for DV or something similar or work overnights, she will crack and settle, don't be afraid

skipdipdeedoo · 2025-01-10T06:03:27+00:00

Update: offered her everything she wanted on $$$. Held out on 50:50 custody. Mediator kept asking why I wasn't budging. For crying out loud, why you pushing me so hard to turn my back on my flesh and blood?! And now, with trial, I'm rolling the dice. Mercy please, Judge. System inflicts horrendous pain. But staying strong. Even if I lose, I'll go down fighting and will be able to look my young ones in the eye and say I gave it my all, for them. If you're in a similar situation, I feel your pain. May we all have strength and, ultimately, peace.

UTHook3m · 2025-01-09T05:58:03+00:00

In my case, I probably would have had more than 50/50 if we went to court. The kids need both parents, so I wasn’t going to push the issue. I wanted what is best for the kids.

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-01-08T17:38:30+00:00

I got 50/50 after two years of high conflict litigation. I offered a fair even split on day 1, she rejected and counter offered me every other weekends (with giving her the house too).

She filed false domestic violence restraining orders, and used that as an excuse to keep the kids from me for a few months. I think she was hoping that after that defacto sole custody time that the court would be more open to granting her primary custody.

The DVRO court stuff cost me about $25,000. The rest of the two years of litigation cost $35,000. I cashed out half my 401k to post for the legal fees. Had to give the other half to my ex.

Eventually forced her to sell the house and split the equity. I bought a new better house. She’s a permanent renter. Even with 50/50 Im paying $2100 a month in support and alimony for 2 teenagers.

In hindsight, it was worth the money to get the 50/50. If I hadn’t she probably would have moved 6 hours away with her affair boyfriend. They broke up after 4 years…

Good luck!

BreakGrouchy · 2025-01-08T14:54:25+00:00

I’m not willing to pay a dime over 50% and not willing to take less than 50% of the time . Because that’s not what’s best for the kids . Normally the court will use that motto when deciding against the fathers . Uno reverse 🔄 but my case is likely to have the Supreme Court involved. Violations of civil rights and fraud. I don’t want a pound of flesh , I want a pyramid of skulls .

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-01-08T14:47:43+00:00

If your state is default 50/50 (most are in the USA) just go to court. The judge will rule 50/50.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-01-08T14:46:05+00:00

I didn’t back down. She wanted to make it 60/40 in her favor for the summer. But 50/50 during school. Mind you, when this all began she said it would be totally 50/50. Not sure what her game was but I said no and kept saying no. She caved and didn’t want to fight it anymore when it came time to write up the agreement.

aj357222 · 2025-01-08T14:10:29+00:00

Location matters in the context of answering this question. My own jurisdiction of Ontario, Canada provides almost no resistance at all for fathers who seek 50/50 access time, and puts the onus entirely on their counter-party to justify why it would be denied.

Also, in objective terms, what is their hump, exactly? Just pure denial on the basis of injuring you? Or is there something more tangible (perhaps they want to move w the kids, or something)?

Noobinpro · 2025-01-08T10:54:36+00:00

The mediator cannot make any decision, they just mediate. An arbitrator or judge can make a decision. Do not fucking budge on 50/50.

47omek · 2025-01-08T05:54:53+00:00

It quite often boils down to money. They want to be primary so that they can get that sweet sweet mommy support money. If you're willing to pay a CS number similar to what they'd get with you at EOW, or to at least split the difference between 50/50 and EOW CS numbers (like I did) you'll have a decent chance at getting an agreement. You have to be willing to get up and leave mediation though if she won't budge. My attorney and I were packing up and about to leave when the ex agreed to equal parenting time - with me paying max CS of course. After that it was just a negotiation of exactly how much it would cost me per month to remain an equal parent (which I had been greater than equal all along prior). It's a straight up money grab but it's the game you'll have to play.

Zealousideal_Try_864 · 2025-01-08T04:39:38+00:00

There would have been no agreement because as soon as we started talking about it, she would just move the goal post. Her ultimate goal was (and still is) to be in constant conflict, she was just baiting me.

We went to two different mediators. They basically told her that unless there was something grossly wrong with either parent that most courts around here are going to go 50/50.

She didn’t like/believe that….so journal i kept, record i did and to trial we went.

Title	50:50 Parenting
Author	skipdipdeedoo
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	January 8, 2025 3:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hwahkn/5050_parenting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/5050-parenting.1540620 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540620

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