5th week in (32M)

CrazySanta7 · 2024-01-21T18:29:22+00:00

Stay away from workplace women romantically.. If you still 'got it' then do it outside of work. It's an HR nightmare waiting to happen, especially these days, where everyone is offended. Good luck.

sir_coltonius · 2024-01-21T18:27:33+00:00

Take all that love you felt for her, and translate it into a driving anger that helps you accomplish more than you could have ever before. You’re better for this. Regardless of whose fault it was, how bad of a person you feel like, this is a W. Use the energy your body is providing you for something useful. Necessity is the greatest weapon a man can wield.

Adventurous_Fact2083 · 2024-01-21T18:19:34+00:00

Other women is the last thing you need to worry about. Work on yourself otherwise you’ll be in the same boat in 2-3 years. I’m going on since Nov of 22. It hasn’t gotten any better. If anything it gets worse before it gets better.

New-Amoeba9042 · 2024-01-21T18:08:12+00:00

Congrats man! Doing way ahead did schedule! I was in the middle of my 60lb weight loss from not eating at that point.

Become_Pneuma · 2024-01-21T15:37:25+00:00

Hell ya brother. Be careful not to fall back into a trap with the wrong woman again. Hopefully you’ve learned what characteristics to look out for.

azwildcat74 · 2024-01-21T15:20:58+00:00

Be ready for it all to ebb and flow, it’s not a linear process getting through and over it all. The bad thoughts become less frequent and the good stuff becomes more so in time, don’t hide from the shitty parts of it all, face them head on and you’ll be through it in no time

sense4242 · 2024-01-21T14:44:30+00:00

What podcasts helped you?

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-01-21T14:40:04+00:00

Glad you are doing better. Few things I discovered from my own experience…..

“Time” with kids is a perverse yardstick. Quality time with kids is the better measure. Make the most of your time with them. Work your chores & obligations hard outside of having your kids so you get quality time with them when you have them. This also helps the time you don’t have them. Keep busy. I can honestly say I am a way better dad divorced. I am more connected to my kids than ever.

Put into perspective what you are sad about and grieving. I was grieving everything tangled together under the big umbrella of divorce. It was confusing until I realized what it was I was actually grieving. What I truly was grieving was the loss of a vision I had of a family. That’s all. I learned that the loss of my wife was separate, and in fact, not much to grieve. I wasn’t grieving the loss of my children. They were still very much a part of my life.

GrimloxGoldilox · 2024-01-21T14:28:05+00:00

I'm 6 months in separation, the days are getting easier but I still ruminate. I went through varying stages of grief and I still miss her. We did a settlement and I can see the end is near, all that's left is paperwork. I admitted my faults and did a lot of self-blame in the beginning, but now I realize it wasn't all me and that I deserved better. Therapy helps somewhat, but I found more comfort in podcasts breaking down mine and my ex's psychology. I like to think it's more her family and possible quiet BPD or something or another along those lines. I gain comfort in realizing it's not my job to "fix her", it never was. That I was in love with her potential, who she could have become, and that I miss the companionship more than anything. I'm struggling with my co-dependancy issues and working on my trauma-bond. It's tough, but the days get easier and the nights less lonely.

Take comfort in this subreddit, it helps. I don't have much to offer other than I feel what you're probably going through.. we all do..and to focus on just today. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not the future nor the past...just today. That keeps me going. You're going to be just fine. We all will be.

Title	5th week in (32M)
Author	Blind_Moth_Priest
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	January 21, 2024 12:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/19c2qdk/5th_week_in_32m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/5th-week-in-32m.1243476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243476

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