I lost half my house, half my business, and half my retirement, but at least no alimony. We did mediation with an attorney. The attorney was invaluable in explaining things to my Ex that she didn't understand. It was exactly how I said, but the attorney was unbiased so the Ex believed him. The mediation cost about $5,000 but was well worth it. If you can stomach being "nice," mediation can be a great way to settle things. Her affair partner is out of the picture (due to DV assault charges). The kids are not talking to her. My therapist says my progress has been amazing. I did not want this divorce, but it looks like I'm better off now. This sub has been a great source of information, inspiration, and comfort. Thank you all!